Well, I ruined New Year's

nikiswimr

We went out to dinner with our good friends tonight and she wasn't drinking. They've already had one baby in the time we have been trying. They announced they were pregnant with a second "surprise" baby. I started ugly crying and had to go home. I feel like an asshole. Cannot wait for 2014 to be over.

Menrandes

I don't think you are a bad person at all. You were just caught off guard. **hugs**

O2girl

Oh honey! That is awful for you to process. I am so sorry. Huge (((((((hugs)))))))

Fwiw: I doubt you ruined New Years for anyone. Xoxo

MellyMel15

I'm sorry, sweetie. That certainly doesn't make you an asshole. It's just all sucky and hard.

If it makes you feel any better, I got into an argument with my best friend today (we haven't fought in 10 years) because she thinks DH and I should put off our TTC efforts for a month so it doesn't conflict with my sister's wedding and I don't agree. I don't think we'll ever see eye to eye on this. 

nikiswimr

I agree @MellyMel15‌ that's totally unfair for them to dictate what is going on with your uterus. Do what's right for yourself.

Thanks guys. I'm still crying into my champagne. MH is snoring in my lap. Happy New Years to me.

alm288

I'm so sorry - but I'm sure you didn't ruin New Years.

Hope 2015 is better for you. (((Hugs)))

imnotfancy

I'm so sorry!!! I would have had the same reaction. ((Hugs)) Was it just 4 of yall at dinner? Or a larger group of friends? Does she know anything about your journey? If so, that's kinda crappy of her.
"Surprise" pregnancies make me want to barf.

Nikolie93

Oh honey, I'm so sorry. Damn all these triggers!

So many *hugs* to you

Nikolie93

Oh @MellyMel15‌ with all due respect, your bf can suck a dick. Being almost 40 with no children I have zero patience for anyone that tells others to hold off (unless medically necessary at least)

CC1017

You didn't ruin New Years. Your New Years got ruined. Sorry you were caught off guard. (Hugs)

Frenchteachermama

((Hugs))

PinkCamino

I'm so sorry you were caught off guard like that. So many ((hugs)). Your reaction is normal, please do not feel guilty about it.

BookishMomma

I hate hate hate it when people say a pregnancy is a surprise. Unless you were preventing with BCP, condoms, or the like, it is not a surprise. ((Hugs))

NOBB14

Oh FFS. Some people are just in their own damn world. I don't blame you for your reaction at all and I'm sorry that's how you were forced to ring in the new year. Hugs.

@MellyMel15‌ good grief! Don't you just LOVE people who know exactly how to fix your situation without actually knowing what it's like to BE you, in your situation? Of *course* you should totally ignore what you and DH have decided is best to do, just to accommodate their pushy opinions- duh!

EIsieMae

((Hugs)). I'm so sorry:/

MSU_Girl1202

Oh lady, don't feel guilty at all. Your reaction (at least in my humble opinion) is perfectly normal. I would have probably done the same thing.
I hope you have a better day today! ((hugs))

dandb925

Please don't feel guilty! You did nothing wrong. Some people just don't understand. @MellyMel15‌ I second what @Nikolie93‌ said - your friend should just be supporting you, not trying to tell you how you should run your life.

nikiswimr

imnotfancy said:

I'm so sorry!!! I would have had the same reaction. ((Hugs)) Was it just 4 of yall at dinner? Or a larger group of friends? Does she know anything about your journey? If so, that's kinda crappy of her. "Surprise" pregnancies make me want to barf.

It was just the four or us at dinner, and even before she said anything I knew it was coming because she didn't order anything to drink and looked like she was going to puke when dinner arrived. They know about the IF and our loss. I guess I just wished I'd gotten a text beforehand so I could've dealt with the crying thing at home.

meredithcarole

I am very sorry.  It was rather inconsiderate springing that on you in public.   ((((Hugs))))

LittleDucky

If she knew about your IF and loss, she should have been sensitive enough to tell you in a way that would let you deal with your reaction in private (text or email).  I'm so sorry you had to deal with this. 

imnotfancy

nikiswimr said:

imnotfancy said:

I'm so sorry!!! I would have had the same reaction. ((Hugs)) Was it just 4 of yall at dinner? Or a larger group of friends? Does she know anything about your journey? If so, that's kinda crappy of her.
"Surprise" pregnancies make me want to barf.

It was just the four or us at dinner, and even before she said anything I knew it was coming because she didn't order anything to drink and looked like she was going to puke when dinner arrived. They know about the IF and our loss. I guess I just wished I'd gotten a text beforehand so I could've dealt with the crying thing at home.

I'm so sorry!!! You definitely deserved a more low key, private, briefing about the situation from your "friend". ((Hugs))

Cheetara2

((Hugs)) Sorry you had to deal with that.

MellyMel15

@nikiswimr- Thank you. I hope you're feeling better this afternoon. It's very unfair that some women have such an easy time with pregnancy while others struggle so much. That was very inconsiderate of your friend to tell you while you guys were out at dinner. If she's aware of how you've struggled, she should've had the decency to tell you privately at your house or something. 

@agpjt413, @bluedaisy0627, @Nikolie93, @NOBB14, @crimpgirl, @dandb925, thank you so much for the support. Your words have made me feel a lot better (some of them even made me laugh). 

Yeah, the problem is this friend is getting married in June and right now she's totally focused on the wedding. In fact, she told her sister-in-law-to-be, who is trying for her first baby, that she can't be due around the time of the wedding, which I think is just so rude. She told me that I'm too fixated on having a baby and that it's been "very taxing" being my friend in the months following my MMC. I don't want to lose her as a friend, but I'm so upset and angry. My DH says my friend will never understand and that we'll likely have to agree to disagree on this one to maintain our friendship. Some of my trust in her is gone, though. 

negritosmami

Wtf. She knew about your history and did that in public..smdh people just dont get it. So sorry you went thru that

rslh10

So many hugs to you

Nikolie93

Wait.. She said WHAT to you about being too taxing and fixated on having a baby?

And she's a long time, close friend? Because fuck that.

I'm so sorry again and that just makes it worse!

Cheetara2

 

stephy1221

So sorry, hugs.

nikiswimr

@MellyMel15‌ I'm sitting here furious at your "friend" for you!

laurenleigh17

((hugs)) I'm so sorry your NYE was crappy! I know how devastating an unexpected pregnancy announcement can be. What is it with people insensitively announcing like this?!? 

schuebja

I'm sorry you had a crappy NYE. Looksof hugs to you.

liznj2775

If she was a true friend, she should have given you the courtesy of a heads up. She knows what struggles you've had! Especially since it was only the four of you at dinner and it was a holiday that celebrates washing away the bad and old and looking forward to a new beginning and better year. What crap. You have love and support here!!!