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Well, I ruined New Year's

nikiswimrnikiswimr member
in TTC After a Loss
We went out to dinner with our good friends tonight and she wasn't drinking. They've already had one baby in the time we have been trying. They announced they were pregnant with a second "surprise" baby. I started ugly crying and had to go home. I feel like an asshole. Cannot wait for 2014 to be over.
Me: 32 DH: 32
Met: 4/25/2004, Married 8/14/2010
Off BC 1/2013 TTC (actively) since 5/2013
5/2014 started testing with RE, me:  HSG normal, normal AMH, no cysts; DH: great sperm
Unexplained IF + unexplained anovulation (post-pill vs hypothalamic)

7/2014 Clomid (monitored) + TI: BFN
8/2014 Clomid (monitored) + TI: BFP #1: 9/12/2014, EDD 5/22/2015, MMC 10/11/2014 8w1d
11/2014 Clomid + Novarel + IUI 12/5/14: BFFN
12/2014 Comid + Novarel + IUI 1/3/15: ???

**PgAL/PAL welcome**

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Re: Well, I ruined New Year's

  • MenrandesMenrandes member
    I don't think you are a bad person at all. You were just caught off guard. **hugs**
    We met in middle school. We got married 15 years later in a February blizzard of 2010. 
    TTC since February 2010
    Diagnosed with Lyme Disease June 2010 Diagnosed with PCOS March 2011 Diagnosed with Celiac Disease January 2013
    BFP #1: August 25th 2013 EDD May 4th 2014 SCH MC October 3rd 2013
    BFP #2: February 14th 2014 EDD October 25th 2014 CP February 17th 2014
    Naked push-up foreplay pioneer
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  • O2girlO2girl member
    Oh honey! That is awful for you to process. I am so sorry. Huge (((((((hugs)))))))

    Fwiw: I doubt you ruined New Years for anyone. Xoxo
    Me: 38
    DX:  Adenomyosis, Compounded MTHFR, PAI-1 4G variant

    DH: 34
    MFI due to Testicular Cancer

    Married March 2012 <3
    IVF w/ICSI #1
    10 little polar bears
    FET #1 with 2 polar bears ~Nov 6, 2013 BFN :(
    FET # 2 with 2 more polar bears ~March 19, 2014 BFP!!!
    Beta 1= 276
    Beta 2= 662
    4/19/14 ~ baby A became an angel
    5/02/14 ~ baby B became an angel
    5/3/14 ~ D&C
    FET #3 with 1 male polar bear ~October 3, 2014
    October 13, 2014 ~ BFN
    Fur Children:  Memphis 3y, Dutch 3y, Marcel 2y, Meadow 1y



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    January 2015 Siggy Challenge TTCAL
    Animals Interacting with Snow

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  • MellyMel15MellyMel15 member
    I'm sorry, sweetie. That certainly doesn't make you an asshole. It's just all sucky and hard.

    If it makes you feel any better, I got into an argument with my best friend today (we haven't fought in 10 years) because she thinks DH and I should put off our TTC efforts for a month so it doesn't conflict with my sister's wedding and I don't agree. I don't think we'll ever see eye to eye on this. 
    * Me: 31, DH: 33 * Married 10.16.10 * Parents of our furbaby Sophie *
    BFP: 8.28.14 | EDD 5.6.15 | MMC Discovered 9.25.14 (8 weeks)| D&C 9.30.14

    image

    "Everybody here has got a story to tell. Everybody's been through their own hell. There's nothing too special about getting hurt, but getting over it that takes the work. Because one way or another, we all need each other. Nothing's going to turn out the way you thought it would. Friends and lovers, don't you duck and cover because everything comes out the way it should in the end." -Glen Phillips, "Duck and Cover" 


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  • nikiswimrnikiswimr member
    I agree @MellyMel15‌ that's totally unfair for them to dictate what is going on with your uterus. Do what's right for yourself.

    Thanks guys. I'm still crying into my champagne. MH is snoring in my lap. Happy New Years to me.
    Me: 32 DH: 32
    Met: 4/25/2004, Married 8/14/2010
    Off BC 1/2013 TTC (actively) since 5/2013
    5/2014 started testing with RE, me:  HSG normal, normal AMH, no cysts; DH: great sperm
    Unexplained IF + unexplained anovulation (post-pill vs hypothalamic)

    7/2014 Clomid (monitored) + TI: BFN
    8/2014 Clomid (monitored) + TI: BFP #1: 9/12/2014, EDD 5/22/2015, MMC 10/11/2014 8w1d
    11/2014 Clomid + Novarel + IUI 12/5/14: BFFN
    12/2014 Comid + Novarel + IUI 1/3/15: ???

    **PgAL/PAL welcome**

    Report Reply
  • alm288alm288 member
    I'm so sorry - but I'm sure you didn't ruin New Years.

    Hope 2015 is better for you. (((Hugs)))
    TTC: Since July 2013
    BFP #1: EDD 05/27/2014 (D&C 10/17/2014)
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  • imnotfancyimnotfancy member
    I'm so sorry!!! I would have had the same reaction. ((Hugs)) Was it just 4 of yall at dinner? Or a larger group of friends? Does she know anything about your journey? If so, that's kinda crappy of her. :(
    "Surprise" pregnancies make me want to barf.

    Anniversary
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    TTC since July 2014
    BFP#1 11/1/14, EDD 7/15/15, 
    MM/C (blighted ovum) 12/2/14 at 8 wks, D&C 12/5/14
    Fur Parents to Mercy, Fluffy and Big Tex
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  • Nikolie93Nikolie93 member
    Oh honey, I'm so sorry. Damn all these triggers!

    So many *hugs* to you
    I am not sure how to say this without getting a "solicitation" warning so I guess I just say that I am not longer active on THIS site. 



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  • FrenchteachermamaFrenchteachermama member
    ((Hugs))



    imageimageimage
    image
    My FF Chart:
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/490dd7
    TTC #3 since June 2013
    BFP #1 7/21/2013--EDD 3/30/14--D&C 9/24/13
    BFP #2 1/28/14--MC 2/7/14
    IUI #1 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #2 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #3 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IVF #1, Stimmed for 12 days, ER 8/22/14, 9 retrieved, 7M, 7F!!  Freeze all due to fluid in uterus.
    FET end of October 2014 cancelled due to fluid in uterus due to possible c-scar defect
    Surgery scheduled 12/12/14 to fix possible isthmocele
    3/26/15 transferred one 8 cell grade 4 embryo and one 6 cell grade 3 embryo = slow rising betas for 2+ weeks = ectopic MTX shot 4/29/15
    Repeat c-scar surgery June 2015
    2nd and last IVF cycle August 2015, stimmed for 12 days, 2 egg retrieved, both mature and both fertilized.  Transferred both 8-cell embryos on Day 3, beta 9/5/15 = BFFN
    MOVING TO ADOPTION!  


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  • PinkCaminoPinkCamino member
    I'm so sorry you were caught off guard like that. So many ((hugs)). Your reaction is normal, please do not feel guilty about it.
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  • BookishMommaBookishMomma member
    I hate hate hate it when people say a pregnancy is a surprise. Unless you were preventing with BCP, condoms, or the like, it is not a surprise. ((Hugs))
    image
    image
    DX: I'm a Recurrent Loser
    Me (35) + DH (37) - Married Sept. 2007
    BFP #1 - DS born 7/11/11
    BFP#2 11/13/13 - EDD 7/29/14 - M/C at 5w3d
    BFP #3 12/28/13 - EDD 9/7/14 - M/C at 4w6d
    BFP#4 3/27/14 -  EDD 12/5/14 - Girl lost to 45X at 8w6d - D&C 
    BFP#5 10/15/14 - EDD 6/30/15 - M/C at 7w2d
    BFP #6 1/5/15 - EDD 9.16.14 [CLICKY for progress]
    In search of a image


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  • NOBB14NOBB14 member
    Oh FFS. Some people are just in their own damn world. I don't blame you for your reaction at all and I'm sorry that's how you were forced to ring in the new year. Hugs.

    @MellyMel15‌ good grief! Don't you just LOVE people who know exactly how to fix your situation without actually knowing what it's like to BE you, in your situation? Of *course* you should totally ignore what you and DH have decided is best to do, just to accommodate their pushy opinions- duh!
    started TTC 3/2014 & got hitched 4/2014
    husbter's a 38 y/o smarty pants phD/me? a 27 y/o cat lady extraordinaire
    & we're missing our darling barnacles:
    May 2014 loss @ 9 weeks, MMC, no hb found at first appointment | edd dec 4 2014
    October 2014 loss @ 12 weeks, MMC measuring 10w after hearing hb @ 8w | edd apr 15, 2015
    image
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  • EIsieMaeEIsieMae member
    ((Hugs)). I'm so sorry:/
    BFP #1: 5-14-2010, DD born 1-22-2011
    BFP #2: 4-20-2012, Natural MC 5-1-2012
    BFP #3: 7-19-2012, DS born 3-27-2013
    BFP #4: 9-13-2014, MMC discovered 10-27-14 at 10w, d&c on 11-6-14 

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  • MSU_Girl1202MSU_Girl1202 member
    Oh lady, don't feel guilty at all. Your reaction (at least in my humble opinion) is perfectly normal. I would have probably done the same thing.
    I hope you have a better day today! ((hugs))
    Married 07/2006, TTC since 2010
    08/2011: Clomid 50mg, IUI --> BFN  ,
    10/2011: Clomid 100mg, IUI --> BFN
    04/13: Clomid, IUI BFP --> MC at 6w1d
    05/13: Femara 2.5mg, IUI --> BFN  , 08/13: Femara 2.5mg --> BFN
    03/14: Femara 5mg, IUI --> 1 follicle @ 27d --> BFP! EDD 12/02/14--> blighted ovum, missed MC 6w6d --> D&C
    4/23: D&C...starting over again, with a little part of my heart broken off
    5/31: Femara 7.5mg --> cancelled cycle, no follies
    7/14: Femara 5mg + brevelle + menopur + IUI --> converted to IVF, ER 7/28 --> ET cancelled due to severe OHSS.
    9/20/14:  Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP--> EDD 6/6/15 --> MC at 5w3d      
    10/16/14: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFN
    2/6/15: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP --> MC at 5w4d
    3/20/16: PGS-tested Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP, Living Child born 12/1/15
    6/6/17: Fresh IVF Cycle --> Severe OHSS, 5 PGS-tested embryos frozen
    2/23/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
    3/30/18: Cancelled cycle due to lining 4.2mm
    6/21/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
    Report Reply
  • dandb925dandb925 member
    Please don't feel guilty! You did nothing wrong. Some people just don't understand. @MellyMel15‌ I second what @Nikolie93‌ said - your friend should just be supporting you, not trying to tell you how you should run your life.

    Married: 9/25/10
    TTC # 1 since 5/2013
    BFP # 1: 2/7/14, mmc 3/12/14, D&C 3/19/14
    Boy, Trisomy 13, Karyotyping and Genetic Testing all normal
    Hysteroscopy and D&C 6/2/14, retained tissue
    Off the bench 7/14
    BFP # 2: 10/3/14, Blighted ovum, D&C 11/12/14
    Girl, no chromosomal abnormalities detected
    RPL Testing: Pre-diabetic, ANA+
    "I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart) I am never without it." - e.e. cummings

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  • nikiswimrnikiswimr member
    imnotfancy said:
    I'm so sorry!!! I would have had the same reaction. ((Hugs)) Was it just 4 of yall at dinner? Or a larger group of friends? Does she know anything about your journey? If so, that's kinda crappy of her. :( "Surprise" pregnancies make me want to barf.

    It was just the four or us at dinner, and even before she said anything I knew it was coming because she didn't order anything to drink and looked like she was going to puke when dinner arrived. They know about the IF and our loss. I guess I just wished I'd gotten a text beforehand so I could've dealt with the crying thing at home.
    Me: 32 DH: 32
    Met: 4/25/2004, Married 8/14/2010
    Off BC 1/2013 TTC (actively) since 5/2013
    5/2014 started testing with RE, me:  HSG normal, normal AMH, no cysts; DH: great sperm
    Unexplained IF + unexplained anovulation (post-pill vs hypothalamic)

    7/2014 Clomid (monitored) + TI: BFN
    8/2014 Clomid (monitored) + TI: BFP #1: 9/12/2014, EDD 5/22/2015, MMC 10/11/2014 8w1d
    11/2014 Clomid + Novarel + IUI 12/5/14: BFFN
    12/2014 Comid + Novarel + IUI 1/3/15: ???

    **PgAL/PAL welcome**

    Report Reply
  • meredithcarolemeredithcarole member
    I am very sorry.  It was rather inconsiderate springing that on you in public.   ((((Hugs))))
    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge: Animals in the Snow

    image

      
    About Me: 

    AMA 35 :  DH 33
    BFP#1 1/26/14 (EDD: 10/7/14).  MMC 3/10/14 D&C 3/14/14
    RE Consult 11/3/14 - AMH 2.25 "great" . FSH 7.10 . Low Vitamin D
    Myomectomy 12/17/14.  Benched until March.

    image

    My Ovulation Chart
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  • LittleDuckyLittleDucky member
    If she knew about your IF and loss, she should have been sensitive enough to tell you in a way that would let you deal with your reaction in private (text or email).  I'm so sorry you had to deal with this.  :(
    Married to DH since 6/30/2007
    Me: 32  DH: 32
    BFP #1: 4/1/2010 DS born: 12/3/10
    TTC #2 since 5/2014
    BFP # 2 : 6/16/14 EDD: 2/25/15  Missed Miscarriage discovered 7/10/14 D&C 7/17/14 Pathology results normal
    BFP #3    : 10/21/14 EDD: 7/6/15  11/24/14:  Saw heartbeat! 
    Missed Miscarriage discovered 12/22/14 at 12w0d D&C 12/23/14 Pathology: Partial Molar Pregnancy/Triploidy
    ~~Currently benched following PMP~~ 
    **all AL welcome**



    image image
    TTCAL January 2015 Siggy Challenge:  Animals in the snow
    Scumbag Penguin
    image

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  • imnotfancyimnotfancy member
    nikiswimr said:


    imnotfancy said:

    I'm so sorry!!! I would have had the same reaction. ((Hugs)) Was it just 4 of yall at dinner? Or a larger group of friends? Does she know anything about your journey? If so, that's kinda crappy of her. :(
    "Surprise" pregnancies make me want to barf.




    It was just the four or us at dinner, and even before she said anything I knew it was coming because she didn't order anything to drink and looked like she was going to puke when dinner arrived. They know about the IF and our loss. I guess I just wished I'd gotten a text beforehand so I could've dealt with the crying thing at home.

    I'm so sorry!!! You definitely deserved a more low key, private, briefing about the situation from your "friend". ((Hugs))

    Anniversary
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    TTC since July 2014
    BFP#1 11/1/14, EDD 7/15/15, 
    MM/C (blighted ovum) 12/2/14 at 8 wks, D&C 12/5/14
    Fur Parents to Mercy, Fluffy and Big Tex
    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • Cheetara2Cheetara2 member
    ((Hugs)) Sorry you had to deal with that.

    IUI#3 brought us our dragon baby Z

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    TTCAL January 2015 Siggy Challenge: Animal Snow Interactions 


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  • MellyMel15MellyMel15 member
    @nikiswimr- Thank you. I hope you're feeling better this afternoon. It's very unfair that some women have such an easy time with pregnancy while others struggle so much. That was very inconsiderate of your friend to tell you while you guys were out at dinner. If she's aware of how you've struggled, she should've had the decency to tell you privately at your house or something. 

    @agpjt413, @bluedaisy0627, @Nikolie93, @NOBB14, @crimpgirl, @dandb925, thank you so much for the support. Your words have made me feel a lot better (some of them even made me laugh). 

    Yeah, the problem is this friend is getting married in June and right now she's totally focused on the wedding. In fact, she told her sister-in-law-to-be, who is trying for her first baby, that she can't be due around the time of the wedding, which I think is just so rude. She told me that I'm too fixated on having a baby and that it's been "very taxing" being my friend in the months following my MMC. I don't want to lose her as a friend, but I'm so upset and angry. My DH says my friend will never understand and that we'll likely have to agree to disagree on this one to maintain our friendship. Some of my trust in her is gone, though. 
    * Me: 31, DH: 33 * Married 10.16.10 * Parents of our furbaby Sophie *
    BFP: 8.28.14 | EDD 5.6.15 | MMC Discovered 9.25.14 (8 weeks)| D&C 9.30.14

    image

    "Everybody here has got a story to tell. Everybody's been through their own hell. There's nothing too special about getting hurt, but getting over it that takes the work. Because one way or another, we all need each other. Nothing's going to turn out the way you thought it would. Friends and lovers, don't you duck and cover because everything comes out the way it should in the end." -Glen Phillips, "Duck and Cover" 


    Report Reply
  • negritosmaminegritosmami member
    Wtf. She knew about your history and did that in public..smdh people just dont get it. So sorry you went thru that

    ~TTC #1 Since 3/2014
    ~BFP #1 6/2014      EDD 2/11/15
    ~MMC 7/31/14 @12weeks ~D&C /2/2014  

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  • rslh10rslh10 member
    So many hugs to you <3
    image
    Hubs & I -29 • Met 5/18/04 • Married 5/8/10
    BFP #1 DS 2/7/11 (Born @ 34 wks via ECS due to Pre-e) TTC #2 since Aug '13
    DX Low AMH (.58) March '14 • FSH-7.5 • E2-35.5 (Nov '14)
    SA- Great numbers • SIS- Clear (Nov '14)
     Cycle 1- Clomid CD3-7 & Trigger-BFP • EDD 1/12/15 
    Ectopic @ 5w6d • Methotrexate Shot 5/18/14
    Cycle 2,3,4- Clomid CD3-7 & Trigger-- BFN
    Cycle 5- Letrozole CD3-7 & Trigger BFFN
    image
    • Everyone Welcome •
    TTCAL January Siggy Challenge • Animal Snow Interactions
    image


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  • Nikolie93Nikolie93 member
    Wait.. She said WHAT to you about being too taxing and fixated on having a baby?

    And she's a long time, close friend? Because fuck that.

    I'm so sorry again and that just makes it worse!
    I am not sure how to say this without getting a "solicitation" warning so I guess I just say that I am not longer active on THIS site. 



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  • Cheetara2Cheetara2 member
    edited January 2015
     

    IUI#3 brought us our dragon baby Z

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    TTCAL January 2015 Siggy Challenge: Animal Snow Interactions 


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  • stephy1221stephy1221 member
    So sorry, hugs.
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers        Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers

    Oct Angel*BFP 1/25/14 * EDD 10/6/14 * US#1 2/26/14 *US#2 3/3/14 no heartbeat*d&c 3/12/14*

    BFP 1/17/15 * EDD 9/30/15

    image







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  • nikiswimrnikiswimr member
    @MellyMel15‌ I'm sitting here furious at your "friend" for you!
    Me: 32 DH: 32
    Met: 4/25/2004, Married 8/14/2010
    Off BC 1/2013 TTC (actively) since 5/2013
    5/2014 started testing with RE, me:  HSG normal, normal AMH, no cysts; DH: great sperm
    Unexplained IF + unexplained anovulation (post-pill vs hypothalamic)

    7/2014 Clomid (monitored) + TI: BFN
    8/2014 Clomid (monitored) + TI: BFP #1: 9/12/2014, EDD 5/22/2015, MMC 10/11/2014 8w1d
    11/2014 Clomid + Novarel + IUI 12/5/14: BFFN
    12/2014 Comid + Novarel + IUI 1/3/15: ???

    **PgAL/PAL welcome**

    Report Reply
  • laurenleigh17laurenleigh17 member
    ((hugs)) I'm so sorry your NYE was crappy! I know how devastating an unexpected pregnancy announcement can be. What is it with people insensitively announcing like this?!? 

    Me: 28 MH: 28  Married: 10/27/2012

    TTC Baby #1

    BFP: 9/2014 EDD: 6/9/2015 MC: 10/13/2014



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  • schuebjaschuebja member
    I'm sorry you had a crappy NYE. Looksof hugs to you.
    Together since April 2004.  Married since June 19th, 2010.
     BFP #1: January 31st 2012: CP. 
     BFP #2: June 1st 2012, Due:2/8/13. Avery was born via unplanned c section on 2/13/13. 
     BFP #3: Sept. 25th, 2014. Due: 6/5/15.  MMC on 10/23/14. Confirmed complete molar pregnancy per D&C 10/29/14, 
    HCG officially negative 12/10/14.  Benched until June 2015.
                                                        
    image 

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  • liznj2775liznj2775 member
    If she was a true friend, she should have given you the courtesy of a heads up. She knows what struggles you've had! Especially since it was only the four of you at dinner and it was a holiday that celebrates washing away the bad and old and looking forward to a new beginning and better year. What crap. You have love and support here!!!
    Met DH 1992. High School Sweethearts. Dated off/on 20+ years. Married 6/23/13. TTC since 12/2013. BFP 1/14/14. EDD 9/14. D&C 2/19/14. BFP 6/25/14. Natural miscarriage. BFP 8/21/14. Cytotec 9/30/14 but did not work enough. D&C 10/8/14.
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