I started posting in family matters on the nest, will try to post link.
In nutshell: About a month ago my SD(12) was asked to watch/babysit my DS. H and I went out for maybe two hours at max. Just a quick catch up for us. We come home and its crazy town as we walk in the door. So H gets a call from exW that a boy was dropped off at her house and is expecting to come over to our house to spend the night....Um what? nope,nope,nope. Never going to happen. So the exW is upset im upset and H is very upset. Her punishment for lying, and inviting over a boy is no phone for two weeks.
Problem two: H was in her phone and I was labled as Dads dick Sucker. Classy,i know. I vented about all of this in my other posts so I wont bore you.
OK, so her phone was taken away for longer. Then she refuses to visit we don't see her for a bit. Christmas roles in.
So...she pulls me aside to talk and I just briefly told her this . I have been kind and loving towards since day one. I am not the bad guy. However as loving as I was ,was not good enough. Thus for now I will just sit on the sidelines. This way I cant be good and I cant be bad.
its it flame worthy? maybe. I just had enough. I have other kids to take care of, I have other family members that need me. My career is on lift off and personally I am starting something huge that I have dedicated a year to achieving. (its a group focused on bringing voice to people that are dealing with depression,anxiety, and panic.)
I don't feel guilty, I feel like my H should have stepped up and helped his family along. Instead he put his head in the sand. So im just looking after me, I don't need a headache. I don't need anyone trying to upset the sanctuary of the house. My DS or my other SS or my H and me. I don't need it. right now I cant handle it, and furthermore its not for me to handle anymore. Its my H's.
clearly this is one tiny moment in time, its built up over years. I just need to create boundaries.