Would you leave baby home alone?

MamaHanna

Ok ladies I know I haven't posted in a while but this just came up and I had to ask the moms! So my (stupid, jack ass, dumb, POS) husband has taken to leaving our one year old at home to run to the store during nap time. She is a solid napper normally 2-3 hours and he will go to the corner store that is about a mile away to get cigarets or something to drink or a snack or what ever. Gone for maybe 10 minutes tops. This makes me super angry. I take her with me everywhere I go even when it's not fun and the one day a week he watches her while I work he leaves to go dick around. He thinks I am crazy and over reacting but she is prone to knocking herself around pretty good and my fear is what if she hits her head and is bleeding and no one is home to help her. So if you could please answer my poll with who you think is in the right. Thanks ladies!

margaerytyrell

OMG, I can't even imagine. I hope this is your soon to be ex-husband with no custody. That is beyond horrifying. No, I would never leave DS alone.

playball13

Ummm no freakin way.

KMKaiser07

Omg I would never leave my DS alone!!!! Stuff happens in a matter of seconds. My niece was climbing out of her crib at this age and falling to the floor. Absolutely not!

MamaHanna

Glad to know I am not crazy! To me it sounds nuts. I have left her inside to nap while I worked in the yard or shoveled snow but I have the baby monitor linked to my phone.  That's how I figured it out. He asked if I wanted something from 7/11 and then I checked the baby monitor from my office and there she was sleeping in her crib. Home boy doesn't even have the monitor on his phone so he has no way of knowing if something did go wrong!

I love my husband to death and I think it's partly a cultural thing because he is middle eastern and men are not expected to watch children and he gets picked on for taking time off of work to be with her but FFS if you are going to take time off to be with your kid BE WITH YOUR DAMN KID! We have been debating me quitting my job and staying home and I have been against it but I guess we can add "untrustworthy child care while at work" to the pro staying home category. 

Kermode61581

Perhaps he needs the tap and the fridge pointed out to him. Clearly he is not realizing that both of those things will solve his thirst and hunger problems throughout the day.

Missykisses85

I hope You made this post to show him
How wrong he is

kaiteygrl

I don't even leave the monitor in another room when I am doing things. That's absolutely insane to me? How did he justify it? No no no

Ltpugs

There is no way in hell I would leave a child home alone... Ever! This is grounds for having child protective services called. I would make sure he never ever does it again.
What if there is a fire at home? Or a break in? What if she climbs out of the crib? What if he gets in an accident or is delayed getting home?!

ErinO21

I was really hoping this was a joke. I can't imagine ever needing a drink or snack bad enough to even consider leaving my child at home. Plan your day around nap time dude. Get your shit before or after.

tyedyeme12

1. Oh my gosh this is ridiculous, like PP said, if I didn't recognize your name I would think this is BS. I would be livid.
2. @MrsP821 I think I reported you...it didn't bring up options, so I'm hoping I backed out fast enough...if not, sorry!!! Fat thumb accident!!!

fauxvegan

Whoa. No, not okay. Too much can go wrong. Make sure he never, ever does that again!

butwhymama

I'm a lurker who changed my sn due to identifying details. (If the change even went through yet). In the words of Sophia Petrillo of the Golden Girls, but I digress..

I had a family member who was doing this with their child a few years back. The family member was leaving the 14 month old sleeping during nap time and going to the community gym to work out. The gym was within the community but a 2 minute drive away. I flipped out when I found out. This is not ok, not legal, never acceptable.

What if something happened? A car accident? Who would know a child was at home unattended? My paranoid brain goes further... A fire, a gas leak, literally anything could happen. This is serious. I hope he realizes the error if his ways.

musicnmoon123

Um, no. If CPS found out about this he could be charged with child neglect.

Ashers423

I'd say totally unacceptable If I want a coffee in the morning LO gets loaded in her carseat and I drag her out and it's a minute away

KFED103

Who is the 1 vote for YES? Wtf.

Also (I could be wrong or confusing with someone else) but don't you work in child social services???

KFED103

Seriously tho, use some fucking common sense. Going to get the mail or take out the trashcans in front of your house sans-monitor....fine. But leaving your child and leaving premises without knowing what's going on is ludicrous.

CandiP523

Cps will take away kids for that.

musicnmoon123

Oh - and to add to my previous comment, YOU can also be charged with neglect by CPS for knowing about this and allowing it to continue.

jobiann

Ask any firefighter, fires break out instantly and only take seconds to engulf a room...someone could be watching the house and rob or take your child in minutes...so many things wrong with this! Sorry, I don't care if you had a magic monitor that he can watch to the store and back, not a good idea. And PP is right, if you have knowledge of this you could get in trouble with CPS as well.

Jen4033

Never never never... if there is something he is going to need during the hours he is watching his daughter, he should be planning ahead. I'm sorry - just no.

74dragonfly

I would call your local police and ask what the laws are. I doubt leaving your baby is legal.

Jen4033

74dragonfly said:

I would call your local police and ask what the laws are. I doubt leaving your baby is legal.

That would be basically asking CPS to show up on your door step. Pretty sure there would be some mandatory reporter laws coming into play there. Unless you were able to make the call anonymously to ask.

74dragonfly

eldunlap said:

Jen4033 said:

74dragonfly said:

I would call your local police and ask what the laws are. I doubt leaving your baby is legal.

That would be basically asking CPS to show up on your door step. Pretty sure there would be some mandatory reporter laws coming into play there. Unless you were able to make the call anonymously to ask.

-------QBF
My first thought is anyone crazy enough to leave their baby at home is probably dumb enough to call the police to ask. I hope someone responsible intervenes. It amazes me that the 2 adults in this situation actually think this is ok.

Eta quote line.

How is it dumb to ask what the law is? I would not leave my baby alone. Since her husband does getting info from the police would be useful for her.

tyedyeme12

So...follow up? Did you talk to your husband? Did he apologize? Are you ever going to leave your kid with him again?

MamaHanna

I just found out about it and if I knew he was doing this I would not have let him continue to watch her. I am a child therapist so I know things can happen in a second and yes it's 100% illegal to leave your property with your child home alone. He thinks I'm being totally paranoid and irrational. I work 5 days and he only watches her one day and my in laws watch her the other 4 and they are always willing to take more time but he said he wants to watch her. I talked to my mother in law and she is going to watch her on Tuesdays. I did it without talking to him and said "now you have time to do what you want and you can pick her up when you are done." I really don't care if he's mad about it I'm not going to risk something happening.

Ktrue85

If it's out of baby monitor range, it's too far. Period.

alanna7777

Thank God you have now made alternate arrangements. As a therapist, aren't you also a mandated reporter? I know I am as a Social Worker. If it happens again take some action. Horrifying to think all of the what ifs that could happen. I could care less about culture ans neither will Child Protective services...plus your career could be seriously jeopardized.

Aubreythielenhouse

How irresistible! Is this for real DCFS would have the baby gone in a second if they knew this was happening, and if you are working with children you for one should know this answer and would not let it happen! What are you doing with this guy?

kaiteygrl

Coincidentally after commenting on this post...My husband told me that a couple (friends of ours) were going to the pub in their town for New Years.  I asked what they were doing for childcare for their 1 1/2 year old and he said they just go to the bar across the street and take the monitor.  I seriously lost. my. shit.  Apparently this isn't as rare as I thought. 

Kelamz

Agree with prior posters. That is illegal. If he doesn't believe us, tell him to call the police and ask them.

jy725

No chance. Keep a record of any text you have proving he has done this. Absolutely unacceptable.

MamaHanna

Thanks for the ladies who actually read what I wrote and did not just look at the poll. I am not stupid or negligent. I was unaware of this happening and the second I was I tore my husband a new one and changed up my schedule so he is no longer watching her alone.  I have taken her to my doctors appointments and had to deal with getting an ultrasound with a squirmy toddler,  taken her grocery shopping durring nap time beacuse I had no other options and put up with the screaming...hell if I go to 7/11 and I can still see her from inside the store I don't care I still bring her inside and don't just leave her with the car running. I asked the question purely so I could show my husband "look over 100 moms from around the world think your ass is straight up crazy...It's not just me." 

Missykisses85

Perfect

mamabutt

Lurking from f15....sorry to intrude....but I'm just gonna leave this here....

https://kfor.com/2015/01/14/police-kids-left-alone-die-in-house-fire-while-mother-is-out-getting-hair-done/

synergy_gd

kate and gerry mccann - we all know what happened there

bsz05

F*** no your husband is asking for jail time n u shouldn't put up with that mess. That's a lil baby ...tell him what if she throws up what if she's hysterical crying...goodness!!!!

zxifnswdjdfn

1) That is completely illegal. I know where I live, kids have to be 8 or 9 minimum to be left without an adult or an old-enough babysitter. To watch younger kids, a babysitter has to be 14 or 15. He's breaking the law and risking her safety.

2) I won't even go check the mail across the street from our driveway without my kids. No way. If Noah is in the house the furthest I go is the front porch or driveway (to get DD on and off the school bus).

3) No, no no, not ever okay.

stefanieserpico

I hope you know it is also illegal to leave a baby alone in a running car as well. I know you mentioned you wouldn't do something like that. I don't know why you would mention that though or as a group of moms their opinion of leaving a baby home alone. It doesn't appear that you were aware that it is illegal when you first asked which is scary.

eemccauley

A woman in my community left her children alone like this and a house fire broke out. All 3 children died and the mother was prosecuted. So sad. I am so glad you took action to make sure your baby is safe. Prayers for you and your baby!