Moms of 2+--Anyone dealing with tantrums from first born?

citymama2012

Hi all, I haven't posted in a while but have been checking in regularly to keep up with all the other A 15 moms-to-be!

I had a question for 2nd+ time moms: is anyone else dealing with increase in tantrums from your older ones?  My son is almost 3, I know it's a common age for outbursts, but I've noticed a definite increase in number and intensity of his tantrums.  I might be reading into it too much, but not sure if it could be related to him noticing all the talk about baby, I'm getting noticeably more pregnant, etc.  We have done a lot to prepare him, and he is always so excited to talk about the baby, become a big brother, etc.  I'm just thinking maybe subconsciously it's bothering him.  Thoughts? Anyone else going through this?

Also, I'm having a tougher time dealing with the tantrums.  Physically it's harder for me to pick him up, move him somewhere safe, etc. Any advice on how to deal?

MitoRachel

How long has the increase in tantrums been going on? I ask because we had viruses in our followed by the holiday craziness. Last week my children were terrors. This week they are virus free and back on their normal sleeping and eating schedule, and I think they might be human after all! My oldest is the same age as yours but doesn't seem to "get" that I am pregnant, so if that truly is the problem in your house I won't be of much help. 

DixieNormous330

Threenagers suck. They tantrum more than you think they will.

Give him a designated space. When he starts acting out and being a beast send him to it. Tell him that he can yell, scream, hit (a pillow or one of those hit-and-they-bounce-back-up-punching-things) in that space only. It'll take a time and a lot of redirection to get it to work, but it'll work and you might start seeing him go over there on his own when he's feeling overwhelmed or upset.

Threenagers suck.

citymama2012

Good point.  It could definitely be lack of sleep contributing to it.  With the holidays and preschool vacation we have been off schedule. 

Jerrica2

I was almost happy to see this post as it makes me feel like im not going crazy!!.. My daughter is 4 and I have NEVER seen her have tantrums like she has been lately. I am 24 weeks pregnant and I have had problems with her since we spilled the news about us having not only one but twins. My daughter was the first born grandchild for 2 years, then all of a sudden my sister had a baby, my brother and his wife had a baby and now we are, (this all happened within 3 months) therefore its not all about her anymore.. things have recently gotten better since we have been involving her with everything, but her tantrums are willlddd!.. Its frustrating bcs what happens when I take her into the store and ahe decides to have a tantrum? Its not like I canpick her up and walk out!. I definately agree its an attention thing and i pray to god that it passes after babies arrive!

khan08

Oh my lanta my son is totally have tantrums like galore!! Not sure if he is realizing everything is changing or what but my goodness!

kjuryfl

We had a tough go with our daughter from age 2-3. She still has her moments at 3.5 but has gotten a lot better. It's the age and the desire to communicate but inability to do so effectively. Give him some space and walk away during crazy tantrums. I feel you though! I didn't think I was going to survive that year. Lol

xuxachi

My 3 yo has been terrible lately too, and I'm struggling with how to handle him when he's out of control and his emotions are super elevated. He also has an 18 mo sister and we've been dealing with constant pushing (usually tying to get her to play the way he wants) and taking toys away from her (possessiveness). My 18mo has been starting tantrums too and is a late teether, so having her special moments too. It's exhausting!!! And I'm really freaked out about adding a third child to the mix (gulp!!) We talk about him getting a baby brother but he doesn't seem to get it, but I think he knows something is up even if he's not able to verbalized it yet. Anyway, glad in a weird way that I'm not alone in this...makes me remember that it's a stage, not just my inadequate parenting :-<

fiscally3

My three year old has also been very cranky and back talking lately.  I've been chalking it up to the holidays since it started about a week before Christmas.  At least now when he tells us no he's articulating why, instead of just screaming, so that's an improvement.  But I would like a cheerful kid again.  I'm hoping once school starts up again next week and we have our normal schedule it will improve!

yarnymommy

Age 3 is horrible as compared to 2.  Terrible 2s?  TORTUROUS 3s!  My son has at times become mouthy, screamy, defiant, impossible.  I think it all has to do with testing limits... Being off his routine with the holidays makes it worse.  That said, he can act like this little devil one minute, and then be all huggy-kissy-sweethearty the next.  A real Jeckyl & Hyde.  In time it passes... all the fun of growing up, I guess.  

We discipline mostly with time-outs and taking things away when he needs it, but when he's really out of control, we find that even that doesn't help.  So, I've started to tell him, in an adult way, that if he can't manage to get himself under control, he isn't allowed to be around me or Daddy and he has to figure out a way to calm himself down.  This has seemed to work in really bad cases.  Almost like he needs that time away to realize what's going on.  It seems to me like he can get swept away with emotion really easily when he escalates and that time away helps.  He typically will go off and find a toy or something, and a few minutes later come back and apologize.

MitoRachel

So you know how yesterday I said my oldest doesn't have a clue what's going on with me being pregnant? Well, call me a fool. Last night my son pointed to my belly and said "mommy has baby in belly" he then proceeded to stuff a doll up his shirt and then give birth to it complete with groaning!