OPP Tuesday ***babies, pregnancies, kids mentioned***

theholmanherd

Let it out!

Remylove1011

I got a Christmas card last week that was also a pregnancy announcement. It was from MH's cousin and his wife (she's terrible...). I literally opened the card and started bawling. Poor MH had no idea what to do and I just handed him the card. I was completly crazy and irrational crying and yelling about the bs that they can get pregnant, when they basically hate eachother, but we can't.  

If one more person in my life announces they are pregnant or has a baby I'm not sure what I'll do. My childhood best friend is currently pregnant and the three couples we hang out with each had a baby this year (Aug, Sept, Oct). I also work with birth-three. I fell like my whole life is babies... just not mine.

Ok end rant. Just need a life break.

edit..I can't spell

dancerspose

@amlrunner so sorry, lots of (HUGS) to you!  @sammae that must have been hard!  sorry!

AFM - I have two this week and one is a sort of long story so I apologize.  I'll start with the short one.

We took our dog to the vet for an annual checkup yesterday and when the vet walked in she was a totally perfect looking pregnant woman...I instantly froze for pretty much the rest of the visit.  Just one more reminder that everyone around me seems to be so fertile (of course intellectually I know it's not fair to make the assumption pregnancy came easy for her, but ya know).

So, last week one of my BFFs, who is one of about 5 people who know of my IF struggles, messages me while I'm at work and tells me she hasn't been feeling well because of stomach problems.  Let me back up, this woman is in her 30s, never been married, hasn't even been in a long-term relationship in years, but makes no secret of her desire for children.  So, as educated as she is, her way to address this is to just have unprotected sex while not on BC.  Lately she has had two different partners around the same time.  So, she tells me that she hadn't been feeling well, and, even though she knows this probably isn't the best time to tell me this, she needs to talk to someone about it.  She took a HPT and it was positive.  Ran to the store, got three more, one of which was positive, one was negative, and one didn't work.  So she was going to the doctor that afternoon.  I about lost it on her.  In the end, as far as I know, turns out she's not pregnant, but I was so pissed/jealous/hurt that she thought it was a good idea to turn to me about this knowing what's been going on.

AnnaClaire256

A co-worker and his wife have been married just over 2 years and have a 2 year old (you can do the math there) and an 8 month old. They just posted a sonogram picture with a photoshopped party hat on the baby and the caption, "Another year another baby. We are on a roll!"

Vomit. I hid them both.

wanderlust508

@shafwilson - Hugs!  The 2nd one especially (about your friend thinking she was pregnant) would really bother me.  Unfortunately some people just have no clue as to the etiquette they should practice when a friend is dealing with IF.  She really should have found a different friend to share that with.

This is more of a musing than a specific OPP grievance.  A couple weeks ago I posted an AW about having a meltdown after interacting with my childhood friend's 3 year old.  It's just kinda funny because nearly 3 years ago (before I was TTC) I stayed with her when her girl was 3 months old.  In the morning she was so exhausted and told me how the baby was up every 2 hours.  She said "Ugh this sucks ....here take this."  And handed me the baby so she could go brush her teeth and take a shower.  I adored her little girl then but I also remember thinking "Wow, thank god I'm not dealing with this right now!"  I knew MH and I eventually wanted kids but at that point in time I was so happy that we were NOT yet parents.  This was when I was 31 and pretty newly married.  My whole plan at that point in my life seems so unbelievably naive now.  I wanted to wait til we were married for about a year and 1/2 before we started trying.  Then by our 2 year wedding anniversary we would be able to announce that we were expecting.  Nope!  Life doesn't quite work that way .....

AnnaClaire256

@shafwilson‌ What a hot mess. False pregnancy tests? Not likely...unless something is terribly wrong. Sounds to me like she just loves the drama. Sorry you had to put up with that.

dancerspose

@AnnaClaire256 that's what I thought too! From what I understand false positives are pretty rare.  So, for her to get two of them was surprising to me.  There was a several hours lag between her initially telling me this and her reporting the results from the doctors office, and I was a wreck. I was convinced she really was pregnant because of the positives.

pinkdoggie

@amlrunner, I'm so sorry big ugly af is coming. I've been really sensitive the last few days too and don't know what to do with myself when I feel this way. BIG hugs. 

@AnnaClaire256 - those kind of people are the worst!! I had a woman actually complaining to me one time that she was having a tough time conceiving....after 6 months of trying and 3 beautiful children!! It made me sick.

dancerspose

Thanks for all the support ladies!

@lemonliz I'm glad you have some warning about the BFP announcement and have the champagne cocktails on the ready!

@hrushka I'm so sorry that happened at the dinner!  You definitely handled yourself very well, probably better than I would have managed to.  Thank goodness for wine.  Oh, and self-destructive definitely describes my so-called friend

BunnyBerry

@shafwilson Wow. Just wow. I would really like to know what made her think you were the person who deserved to get that phone call. I hope she's not KU. I also hope she isn't passing STI's around. Yikes.

@bluejoan Oh my. It must been so bittersweet to have the LO telling you why you'd be great parents. I'm so sorry you had to hear that with all you're going through now. Maybe tuck that one away for when your a new mom and need some encouragement.

@hrushka I am so sorry! People are so self-centered! I am proud of you for sticking it out, you're one strong lady.

@lemonliz Oh my goodness, she secretly went off BC?? That should be illegal. I am so sorry for you and for her DH. 

Remylove1011

@hrushka Love the well timed sarcasm. Too bad the people you were with are stupid. Sorry for the sucky dinner!

Gizmo36

@lemonliz Good luck with the fake squee!  I hope you're able to have enough liquid courage before show time.

@hrushka  You handled yourself a lot better than I would have been able to.  More people need to be fluent in sarcasm.  

@EastBayBride508  I remember that feeling all too well.  If only some of the people who did get KU exactly when they wanted too were more aware of those of us who aren't so lucky...

I only have one niece, and her mother (my H's sister) is BSC.  She has been told multiple times about our struggles and how her comments (mostly complaints about pregnancy that turned into complaints about her daughter after she was born) sting.  On Christmas Eve, she went on and on about how jealous she was of H and I because we have nothing tying us down and can come and go as we please.  And then she transitioned to how traumatic the last two years have been (she got KU between Christmas and New Years 2 years ago on her honeymoon) and how no one could understand just how much pain she's endured.  The most I could muster up was "Ya, sucks to be you."  If it had just been us there, I don't think I would have been able to keep my mouth shut, but there were too many people there for me to go off on her.

babeRN101

I'm a L&D nurse, so I could write on this post hourly.
One of my last deliveries was so easy; the mom pushed twice and out popped a cute little boy who snuggled with his momma right away. What brought tears to my eyes and a punch to the gut happened next: in walked her 3 other children (ages 4,3, and 1.5 yrs). They were so excited to meet their new brother and I almost had to leave bc I wanted to have that moment so badly for myself.

theholmanherd

@Gizmo36, that is awful. What an ungrateful basket case. Seriously, bitch is too good a word for parents like that.

(((HUGS))) to all that need them.

BKAlyssa

I don't have one this week, but wanted to give hugs to all of you.

dancerspose

@BlueFairy5 I HOPE beyond hope that this wasn't MUD by my friend.  She and I have endlessly judged a friend or two of hers in the past who faked BFPs.  And given that she knows of our IF struggle that's definitely be a pretty crappy thing for her to make up.  She also makes plenty of real life drama for herself and really shouldn't need to make any up.  All of that being said, if she felt like I was neglecting her or something lately she may have thought this would be a guaranteed way to get attention from me, regardless of whether it was good or bad attention...people can be so screwy!

bumpuser5823822

@Lemonliz People like that make me want to pull my hair out! I hate irresponsible people who procreate. Especially to keep a spouse around.

@babeRN101 Every time I have to take care of a baby at work its like a sucker punch. I don't know how you do it working in L&D. I think I would lose my mind.  Especially every time I delivered a baby to a teen mom or some Medicaid girl with not even enough money to buy her own car seat or baby formula!

babeRN101

@wazzu08‌ : Wow! I would have been fuming and probably unable to keep my cool. Sorry it was such a shitty dinner