1st Trimester

When's the right time

Hello. This is my first pregnancy, I'll be 7 weeks on Wednesday. I wanted to know when is a good time (aside from the usual 12 weeks) to tell friends and family you're expecting? This is my second pregnancy, my first was a molar pregnancy. We've told our parents and most of our grandparents and a few close friends. I just wanted to know what the norm is for telling everyone else? It's so hard to keep this great secret to myself!! I've seen the doctor twice now, first they didn't see the sac because I was so early and yesterday we saw the sac and our little sea monkey, even got to somewhat see the heartbeat. Very exciting!!

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Re: When's the right time

  • I am 6 weeks (first pregnancy) and have told DH (obviously), his immediate family, my best friend, and plan to tell my family when I visit them in 9 days.

    It is a personal preference, but most people recommend waiting until you are 12 weeks to share the news, because risk of miscarriage decreases.
  • I'm a really bad secret keeper, so we told my parents and his parents right away, which was at 4 weeks. I don't regret waiting, because my dad passed away when I was 9 weeks. I'm now 13 weeks. I always have a - what I thought was irrational fear of things like that happening and I'd regret not telling someone close to me something important and then I'd never be able to tell them - now that I know it's really not all that irrational I'll never be able to keep a secret again even if I did want to, lol. But it's really a personal preference. I know a lot of people like to wait, but in all reality it's completely up to you. We told parents at 4 weeks, and everyone else at Thanksgiving, because that's when all the families would be together at once.

     

     

    Baby #1 EDD July 4, 2015!

    BFP Oct 25th, 2014

    TTC since June 2014

                                                    Pregnancy Ticker                                                          

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  • Any time you feel is right. There is no "norm". Every person feels differently.


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  • JGERWERT  I just love your response! I'm also sorry for your loss.


    As for the ticker (I saw in your signature) I found out how to do it in a post! If you make one on lillypie, and do the large ticker, after you complete it get the URL from the BabyCenter link, copy it. Then, when you go to signature settings, click on the "insert image" icon in the toolbox and paste the URL.


    Thank you all for your advice!         

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    ipumpkin
  • I agree with everyone else. It's completely personal. I waited until I was 12 weeks for some people, and 20 weeks for others. We never did a formal announcement (this being our third) I realize over Christmas I still hadn't told some people and I'm 26 weeks. There is no right or wrong more when your comfortable.
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  • JGERWERT  I just love your response! I'm also sorry for your loss.


    As for the ticker (I saw in your signature) I found out how to do it in a post! If you make one on lillypie, and do the large ticker, after you complete it get the URL from the BabyCenter link, copy it. Then, when you go to signature settings, click on the "insert image" icon in the toolbox and paste the URL.


    Thank you all for your advice!         

    Thank you. It's bittersweet, he was so looking forward to being a grandpa, so I'm really glad he at least knew he was going to be. :)

     

    Thanks for the ticker advice, I'll try it again now and see if it works. I've been trying for awhile and the end result is always the same - me getting pissed off at inanimate objects LOL

    Baby #1 EDD July 4, 2015!

    BFP Oct 25th, 2014

    TTC since June 2014

                                                    Pregnancy Ticker                                                          

    #TEAMBLUE 

     

  • @ladycersei‌ : dude, fuck that bad-mouthing coworker of yours. That's bullshit. When you tell (or anyone tells) has no affect on biological processes. That is just mean, petty shit. WTF?
    Thank you @PrimRoseMama‌ :) But you always have to consider the source. This particular coworker is in her 40s and carries around a wedding binder daily. DAILY. This binder has every detail set for her wedding and she religiously adds to it. She has her wedding party picked out and monitors their weight because she doesn't want fat bridesmaids. She shops for wedding stuff on her breaks. She goes to wedding conventions. She might be a Knot member, idk. There's also a section for baby shower prep there (yes, her binder has dividers is highly organized). The thing about that is, she's never had a longterm boyfriend, has no prospects, and is still a virgin. She's highly bitter about anyone who does anything with their lives so she lashes out. So while she pissed me off to the high heavens, I mostly just pity her.
    @ladycersei ; Sounds like you have a douche canoe of a co-worker too! What is it with these crazies?!!?  

    Baby #1 EDD July 4, 2015!

    BFP Oct 25th, 2014

    TTC since June 2014

                                                    Pregnancy Ticker                                                          

    #TEAMBLUE 

     

    PrimRoseMamaMrsAdventure
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  • We told my parents around six weeks and MIL around 8, along with a few very close friends. We asked everyone to keep it quiet, though we gave my parents and MIL permission to share the news with a few pre-approved friends to help keep anyone from just blabbing it to the whole world.

    Then we sort of mentioned it to people we're close to as it came up and felt appropriate. So most of our circle of friends knew before I made I big AWish announcement on fb at 13 weeks.

    My only advice would be to only share with people you would be comfortable sharing the news of a loss with, at least until you hit second trimester. God forbid anything awful happen, but I'm one of those better safe than sorry folks.

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  • @ladycersei‌ : dude, fuck that bad-mouthing coworker of yours. That's bullshit. When you tell (or anyone tells) has no affect on biological processes. That is just mean, petty shit. WTF?
    Thank you @PrimRoseMama‌ :) But you always have to consider the source. This particular coworker is in her 40s and carries around a wedding binder daily. DAILY. This binder has every detail set for her wedding and she religiously adds to it. She has her wedding party picked out and monitors their weight because she doesn't want fat bridesmaids. She shops for wedding stuff on her breaks. She goes to wedding conventions. She might be a Knot member, idk. There's also a section for baby shower prep there (yes, her binder has dividers is highly organized). The thing about that is, she's never had a longterm boyfriend, has no prospects, and is still a virgin. She's highly bitter about anyone who does anything with their lives so she lashes out. So while she pissed me off to the high heavens, I mostly just pity her.
    @ladycersei ; Sounds like you have a douche canoe of a co-worker too! What is it with these crazies?!!?  
    This was at my last job working for a large bank, I'm a SAHM now. My husband sees her since he still works there but I haven't had the pleasure of interacting with her since 2010. I have a friend stuck working with her so I still get lots of funny/pathetic stories lol.
    Ah, shit. Sorry I didn't realize that.  Regardless, good thing you don't have to deal with her anymore personally, but it's gotta be good entertainment when you get the stories. LOL I'm just surprised you didn't knock her teeth down her throat. For 40 years old, she sounds like she's pretty immature and has quite a few screws loose.

    Baby #1 EDD July 4, 2015!

    BFP Oct 25th, 2014

    TTC since June 2014

                                                    Pregnancy Ticker                                                          

    #TEAMBLUE 

     

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  • As PP have said, it really depends on your personal preference. We told our parents pretty early as we wanted to have them there in case of an early loss...
    Some trusted friends (who we knew could keep a secret) also got to know pretty early, but mostly we just waited to share the news until I hit second tri. And even then we didn't do a whole "big announcement" thing, we just told people when we met them. Since neither of us has FB I'm pretty sure some friends who live in other parts of the country still doesn't know and I hit 32w today ;)
  • Also, @ladycersei, I'm sorry your former co-worker was such a douche.. But I loved your comeback!
    ladycersei
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  • My husband and I won't tell our parents until 8 weeks. Friends, coworkers that I'm close with, and the rest of the family (including siblings) will find out at 12 weeks.

    I may have to tell my boss sooner than 8 weeks though, as we plan our international travel schedules way, way in advance. I usually travel during the summer months, at which point I'd be in my 3rd trimester. The last thing I'd need is to go into early labor in China or on a 14-hour flight!
    together since '03 / married since '14 / started TTC Dec '14 / Holy shit! BFP 12/28/14!
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  • @ladycersei, that is freaking awesome! I can only imagine what her face looked like when you did that LOL!

     

    OP, yes- Sorry for the hijack. :(

    :-S

    Baby #1 EDD July 4, 2015!

    BFP Oct 25th, 2014

    TTC since June 2014

                                                    Pregnancy Ticker                                                          

    #TEAMBLUE 

     

    ladycersei
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  • JGERWERT  I just love your response! I'm also sorry for your loss.


    As for the ticker (I saw in your signature) I found out how to do it in a post! If you make one on lillypie, and do the large ticker, after you complete it get the URL from the BabyCenter link, copy it. Then, when you go to signature settings, click on the "insert image" icon in the toolbox and paste the URL.


    Thank you all for your advice!         

    lquellhorst Well, I tried what you said for the ticker and it's still not working. I guess I just suck, LOL

    Baby #1 EDD July 4, 2015!

    BFP Oct 25th, 2014

    TTC since June 2014

                                                    Pregnancy Ticker                                                          

    #TEAMBLUE 

     

  • We told our families between 9 and 10 weeks and I'm planning on telling my employer when I'm 12, almost 13 weeks. It's really just about when you're comfortable.

    And congratulations! 
    BabyFetus Ticker
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  • edited December 2014
    OP, we told our parents as soon as we found out, around 6 weeks. Looking back, I kind of wish we waited, because the news spread within the family really quickly and we just weren't ready for everyone to know so early. We announced to the rest of the world right around 12/13 weeks (after seeing the heartbeat a few times and finding out the sex). It's such a personal decision... you just have to do what feels right for you. 
     
    @ladycersei ;your former co-worker has serious issues!

    edited for spelling
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • We just found out last week, and since I am required to inform my workplace within two weeks (AD military), we told our parents. Unfortunately, my bosses are the worst gossipers so now half of the people I work with know the news... and I'm only at 5w3d! 

    My mom didn't understand why we're "telling people but not announcing it". We only told our parents and sisters, and specified that the only reason we were spilling the news to them was because I am required to inform work. Ugh. It may be pointless to wait until we're out of the first trimester, but we're doing it anyway. People just don't respect your information. :(
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  • I'm about 7 weeks as well, and I told my family and a close friend, but that's it. We're planning on telling DH's family and other friends once I have an appt and an u/s and get to about 12 weeks. It's really whatever your comfort level is about telling a lot of people.
    DS1 - Feb 2008

    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

  • as most people here we told our close family and best friends after we found out ( 7 weeks that was ) and the rest as in work and normal friends will get the news after the 12 week scan to make sure nothing goes wrong. I dont thing there is a right time or date, do whatever feels best for yourself. =)

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