In case you're bored, interesting WWYD

Emerald27

Hi all! Sorry I've been pretty much MIA for the past several days. Been crazy busy with holiday goings on (and having everyone sick!). I'm going to try to catch up on all I've missed.

So here's a question I have for you ladies. Saw this post in my newsfeed on FB, which already had nearly 100 comments, and they were all over the place; tell! don't tell! none of your business! if it was my husband I'd want you to tell!

So here I ask O'14...What would YOU do if this happened to you?

pnwlover12

I'd probably say something to their respective partners if I was 100% positive it was them and I knew them well. If they were just acquaintances I'd mind my own business and not say anything.

Emerald27

pnwlover12 said:

I'd probably say something to their respective partners if I was 100% positive it was them and I knew them well. If they were just acquaintances I'd mind my own business and not say anything.

They're close, longtime friends. In the comments this girl said that the woman is texting her non-stop afraid she'll tell. She also said that she wasn't sure what to do so she stammered a "hello. Great to see you guys." and jumped into the elevator...

I should mention that this was posted in a secret group so it's not like she put it on her wall and her friends are all wondering if it's their spouses: lol!

pnwlover12

Emerald27 said:

pnwlover12 said:

I'd probably say something to their respective partners if I was 100% positive it was them and I knew them well. If they were just acquaintances I'd mind my own business and not say anything.

They're close, longtime friends. In the comments this girl said that the woman is texting her non-stop afraid she'll tell. She also said that she wasn't sure what to do so she stammered a "hello. Great to see you guys." and jumped into the elevator...

I should mention that this was posted in a secret group so it's not like she put it on her wall and her friends are all wondering if it's their spouses: lol!

Well shit. This changes it for me. If it were my BFF I caught, I wouldn't tell her husband, but I would if I caught him with another person. I know it's a double standard, I guess I would just feel that my loyalty goes to my friend and not her H.

ishknits

I would say something, but I like justice and drama!
In reality... My mom is dating her married neighbor (whose kids we grew up with as bffs) and I haven't said a word to anyone even though I fucking can't stand it

bumpuser10309732

If it were a good friend I would sing like a bird with a time place etc as proof. I would want someone to tell me, but on the other hand if they weren't someone I was friends with I would think they were full of shit. Here's the thing, if you're being cheated on, you kind of already know but you don't want to come to terms with the fact that something is not quite right. If you tell this person, chances are they A. already have an idea something is up or B. they know and are in denial. All you're doing is confirmed their gut feeling. People just act differently, and give you hints here and there. 

On the other token does it annoy the shit out of anyone else that women's media CONSTANTLY has articles like "how to tell if he's cheating" and "10 signs you're married to a cheater". It annoys the shit out of me. Like women need anything else to be insecure about.

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Emerald27

sweetadeline31 said:

Ugh. If it were a close friend that was having an affair I would ask them what's going on and would probably encourage them to communicate with their partner about issues that are leading them to stray. Basically, encourage them to be honest with him/herself and their significant other. If a close friends partner was cheating I feel like I would tell...but probably after asking some probing questions about how their marriage was going. If the friends were more acquaintances I would probably stay out of it.

I like this approach. Hold your cheating friends accountable and tell them you expect them to be honest with their spouses.

lrobi13

If they are making out in public then your friend isn't the only one who knows.  If they are taking such chances then they will get caught soon anyways.  Not my marriage not my problem.  I recently had a friend who was running around on her husband and it all came out in the wash without me having to dirty my hands.  Sounds selfish but I don't have time for that kind of drama in my life.

cmac6186

pnwlover12 said:

Emerald27 said:

pnwlover12 said:

I'd probably say something to their respective partners if I was 100% positive it was them and I knew them well. If they were just acquaintances I'd mind my own business and not say anything.

They're close, longtime friends. In the comments this girl said that the woman is texting her non-stop afraid she'll tell. She also said that she wasn't sure what to do so she stammered a "hello. Great to see you guys." and jumped into the elevator...

I should mention that this was posted in a secret group so it's not like she put it on her wall and her friends are all wondering if it's their spouses: lol!

Well shit. This changes it for me. If it were my BFF I caught, I wouldn't tell her husband, but I would if I caught him with another person. I know it's a double standard, I guess I would just feel that my loyalty goes to my friend and not her H.

This. Thanks for putting it into words for me!

Dani0329

This would be tough for me! I had a friend that was just dating a guy for a few years, and found out he had slept with several of our mutual friends. I told her about it and was ostracized for a while until said friend was ready to accept the information.

So I guess in this situation, if friend came to me I would try to encourage/guilt them into telling. I wouldn't rat out my BFF. If it were the husband caught, I'd only tell of she was hinting at it.

MrsL2B

I probably only have one or two friends I would tell, just because I know that they would want to know based on prior experience. But in general I like to mind my own business.Some people are happier not knowing, and some people are happier being in denial. 

Saragoeswest

I think it would really depend on my relationship with the people involved. I like @sweetadeline31‌ 's approach. Confront the guilty party and get them to be honest. If I were really really close to the friend being cheated on, yes I would tell them if their spouse refused to.

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Emerald27

MonstoMommy said:

I think it would depend on my friend. For example, I have a friend whone husband cheated on her quite publicly, kicked her out of the house, and moved his girlfriend into their home. He wanted a divorce, my friend didn't. Eventually, he took her back. She forgave him and decided it didn't matter that he moved some woman into their home with their children while she lived in her parent's basement. A few months later I found out he was still seeing the girlfriend. I didn't tell my friend because she had made it clear that she wanted to be married to him no matter what. She recently found out he was still seeing the girlfriend. He wants a divorce still, she still doesn't. It's sad. But I think I would tell most of my other friends. I would want to know, so I generally assume other women would want to know as well.

Whoa. How could you want to stay married to someone who doesn't love you and who disrespects you enough to do those things??? He must have some incredibly amazing redeeming quality/qualities...

pnwlover12

MonstoMommy said:

I think it would depend on my friend. For example, I have a friend whone husband cheated on her quite publicly, kicked her out of the house, and moved his girlfriend into their home. He wanted a divorce, my friend didn't. Eventually, he took her back. She forgave him and decided it didn't matter that he moved some woman into their home with their children while she lived in her parent's basement. A few months later I found out he was still seeing the girlfriend. I didn't tell my friend because she had made it clear that she wanted to be married to him no matter what. She recently found out he was still seeing the girlfriend. He wants a divorce still, she still doesn't. It's sad. But I think I would tell most of my other friends. I would want to know, so I generally assume other women would want to know as well.

That is awful. I can't imagine staying after all that. This may be a UO, but I think I could forgive a one time thing. People can fuck up and make stupid drunken mistakes, but having a relationship with someone else is a conscious choice you make repeatedly..and that would kill me. I'd be done then and there.

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