NJ custody ques

shella923

Not sure if anyone here can answer this...

I live in NJ. I have a student for whom I'm asking this question. She is 10 years old. She lives with her mom. It's a long story, but believe me this woman is not fit to be a mother (drugs, strange men in the house, neglect, etx). Child services are involved, but clearly they haven't seen cause to remove the kids yet.

Her dad lives with a wonderful woman out of state. I met her and communicate with her nThey have two childen together. He and my student's mom are married still. Divorce is difficult because they got married in DR .

Anyway, there is nothing in writing saying that only the mom has custody. Dad thinks she only wants the kids because he sends her money. They might not return the kids at the end of the break because she refuses to meet them halfway through the drive. She threatened to take them to court. The dad's girlfriend said " take us". Does anyone know the true legal ramificAtions of this? Any thoughts on this matter?

LucilleAustero

There is a lot going on in this post.

Does dad know what is going on with her mother and the neglect, strange men, etc.?

HisChamaoleGirl

If the situation is as bad as you are saying it is the father should file for emergency custody.

Also, the blended family board has great advice on these sort of situations

shella923

Yes. Ok, mom has the boyfriend who sleeps in the same bed as her, 10 yr old daughter, and three year old boy. And the "second boyfriend" sleeps on the couch. I reported this to dyfs when the girl told me she woke up and mom was not there, only couch guy. Nothing illegal about that.

shella923

HisChamaoleGirl said:

If the situation is as bad as you are saying it is the father should file for emergency custody.

Also, the blended family board has great advice on these sort of situations

Thanks. Phone is dying so will post later!

buggal28

shella923 said:

Yes. Ok, mom has the boyfriend who sleeps in the same bed as her, 10 yr old daughter, and three year old boy. And the "second boyfriend" sleeps on the couch. I reported this to dyfs when the girl told me she woke up and mom was not there, only couch guy. Nothing illegal about that.

Not saying this mother doesn't suck, I don't know her, but how is this any different than the father living with another woman he is obviously not married to as well?

armandos_girl

Mackalien13 said:

I think that you are more involved in this than you probably should be. Just tell the dad to file for emergency custody.

This.

shella923

Ok. Thanks. Good advice!!

lizardknitter

buggal28 said:

shella923 said:

Yes. Ok, mom has the boyfriend who sleeps in the same bed as her, 10 yr old daughter, and three year old boy. And the "second boyfriend" sleeps on the couch. I reported this to dyfs when the girl told me she woke up and mom was not there, only couch guy. Nothing illegal about that.

Not saying this mother doesn't suck, I don't know her, but how is this any different than the father living with another woman he is obviously not married to as well?


I think because OP is saying the 2 adults and the 2 kids are in ONE bed.

shella923

lizardknitter said:

buggal28 said:

shella923 said:

Yes. Ok, mom has the boyfriend who sleeps in the same bed as her, 10 yr old daughter, and three year old boy. And the "second boyfriend" sleeps on the couch. I reported this to dyfs when the girl told me she woke up and mom was not there, only couch guy. Nothing illegal about that.

Not saying this mother doesn't suck, I don't know her, but how is this any different than the father living with another woman he is obviously not married to as well?

I think because OP is saying the 2 adults and the 2 kids are in ONE bed.
Yes, in the bed dad bought for the kids. Weird, but not illegal. I should stay out of this. Stepmom called me to update me Ask if student lied a lot (sometimes)

[Deleted User]

Your only role would be to tell the dad to consult a lawyer if he wants custody or believes there is an issue. 

PrimRoseMama

MYOB. If you are required to report to CPS, then do it. However this is a question for lawyers directly involved in the custody situation.

I understand caring for the student, but you cannot get involved.

shella923

The only involvement I've had is calling cps and talking to dad and his GF. but I'm backing off

shella923

The detail I left out (phone will die, but it's ok) is that this child's mother 'a cousin goes to my church. So they've filled me in on what a deadbeat she is, and how her own family called CPS on her. Now the grandma doesn't even speak to her own daughter and told the dad how neglected the kids are. She gets zero hw or studying help and never eats breakfast. There's so much more but I was curious about the laws. Never the less I'm going to butt out.

zeptattoo

I don't know the answer to your question regarding the legal issues between them.  However, for your protection, I'd step to the side.  I know in my county we cannot communicate with a non-custodial parent about a student.  I'm not sure that the father falls under that category, but the girlfriend definitely does.  Unless someone has given written consent for her to be contacted, that communication needs to stop.

I know your heart is in the right place here, but in my county you can be fired for that.  Just be careful.

shella923

@zeptattoo‌ that is sound advice. Thank you. I'm done with it!

shella923

@mcbenny‌ you're right. You
Never know... Maybe they want to stop sending the mom money. Who knows?? I did report when she showed up in the same dirty clothes three days in a row. Sigh.

shella923

Regal Mama said:

You made the call end of story. You have no business talking to anyone but the custodial parent. You called CPS and that is the end of your job. Call again if you have new information. Do they not teach this stuff to teachers in the US?

Both parents are custodial. There was never anything formal written up. The dad asked me to communicate with his Gf because he works a lot and doesn't speak English. I honestly only had two conversations with the woman. Nevertheless I'm done!