Rapid Extinction / Cry it Out

kristine618

Is anyone planning to do this once their babies are old enough, or have done it with their older children?  DH and I are getting really run down and feel like need to do something.  LO is up anywhere from 2-4X per night.  DH and I both have a lot of trouble sleeping and can't fall back to sleep very easily after a feed.  We both have demanding jobs and the lack of sleep is wearing on us. I was doing all of the feeds exclusively up until about a week ago when I started to get really depressed from lack of sleep (was getting panic attacks in the middle of the night), and now DH is helping too since he is off from work.  My milk supply dropped from the stress, so now I am weaning and getting on some meds.  I'm hoping all of this will help me feel like myself again.  We hired a night nanny one night to give us a break, but we can't justify the cost.  The night nanny said she can help sleep train by rubbing LO's back as he's starting to wake up to help him stay asleep longer and once he's too awake to soothe, diminishing the amount of ounces in the bottle each night until he can go all night without a feed.  It will take her 10-14 days at $20/hour.  (No thank you).  This sounds like a great plan to implement but there would be very little sleep if we were to do this ourselves.  Our pediatrician recommended Weissbluth's book Happy Sleep Habits Happy Child which seems to encourage the rapid extinction method as the quickest most effective way to get the baby to STTN.  I could never do it myself, but my husband is convinced he could do it, and would send me to a friend's to sleep for the night so I won't be tempted to cave.  Has anyone done this with other children, and how did it work?  Anyone planning to do it with LO, and when?  Our pediatrician said once LO is 12 pounds and over 4 months old, the baby is capable of sleep training.  We never did this with DD1 because she only woke once/night until 7 months when she was STTN, but I do want to try it this time.  I just hope it works quickly, and am a little skeptical.  Would love to hear your input! 

Bella2425

We did with my first at 4.5 months. Worked awesome and he has slept great ever since. We will do the same with this guy but he's already a much better sleeper. I'm just waiting until I know he'd be able to self soothe, probably not until closer to 4.5 months. You gotta do what YOU feel is best for your baby.

Eta, it took about 4 nights with my oldest for it to work. It was HARD hearing him cry but he was ok... You just have to stick to it or it will just confuse/frustrate your lo even more.

emmylu30

We've used Ferber to sleep train our toddler when we moved to him to a big boy bed but personally I wouldn't do cry it out on a baby younger than 6 months. I think the key to getting a good sleeper is to put them down awake but drowsy so they learn how to fall asleep on their own. This is in hopes that when they stir at night they fall back asleep on their own unless they truly need you. I'm mobile so don't know how old your LO is but mine is in the 4th leap/4 month wakeful and went from STTN to at least 1 or 2 wake ups. It could just be a phase for your LO if they were sleeping well before but waking more often recently.

conradraging

My pedi suggested CIO. We tried Ferber for a night and a half before I decided my pedi is an idiot and it's not going to happen. I agree with @wingardiumleviosa‌

amom2four

My little guy slept from 9:30 to about 1am and then I was up every 60-90 minutes to feed him last night until he finally decided it was just time to wake up and play from about 4:30-7:30am. Babies are unpredictable in sleeping and it sucks big time. Fwiw, my oldest is 13 1/2 and I haven't slept a full night in 13 1/2 years. I-) I'm exhausted but totally serious. Sorry.

Vavavictoria

conradraging said:

My pedi suggested CIO. We tried Ferber for a night and a half before I decided my pedi is an idiot and it's not going to happen. I agree with @wingardiumleviosa‌

My pedi suggested the same thing just to get her to sleep 6 hours rather than 4. And that was at 10 weeks. Pretty disappointed in my pedi for that. We didn't do it. I definitely feel CIO should be reserved for babies at a time when they have some ability to self soothe and also the ability to even get sleep training. Every method has its worth but the timing is very important.

ConversationFear

We've already started - but it depends on your definition of a "cry". My mom told me when LO was born, "Some babies make a lot of noise while they sleep, so always make sure they are actually CRYING and not just making noises in their sleep."

Our little guy whimpers a lot here and there, but most of it stops within about about a minute or so. He is soothing himself back to sleep. These outburst sound more like loud moaning or loud "jabbershouting" as we call it.

Occasionally though, it does not stop and it sounds more like a full blown cry - we go to him at those times.

I don't think I could ever let our son scream for hours or anything, but maybe if your LO isn't screaming their head off, wait a couple of minutes to see if they soothe themselves back to sleep.

anewadventure

bahaha jabbershouting.

fwiw, my pedi loves the weissbluth book. if you can manage to closely read it, not just selectively read some paragraphs, you might get a better feel for what he is suggesting. our LO is only 3 mo old so this hasn't come up yet as a consideration.

good luck.

ETA: @wingardiumleviosa that is a great link!

JustCricket

I'm not really sure if what we do is considered cio or not (I haven't read a single parenting book! lol) but there are times where she just needs to cry/fuss for a minute or two before falling asleep. I figure at that point she's already crying no matter how much I hold or try to soothe her, leaving her for a minute normally allows her to self-soothe. Sometimes by picking her up all it does is stimulate her more and she just cries even harder.