I'm always so afraid. (Edit with update, not great news)

Blairbear28

Hi! I'm 27 years old and am 5.5 weeks along with my third prenancy. I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks in 2007 and an ectopic in 2008. My husband and I have been trying for a year and are so thrilled to be expecting! However, every moment of every day is filled with dread. I check when I wipe, I fear all the wee cramps I am experiencing and pretty much just want to time travel to 12 weeks so I can cut back on some of this anxiety. The mantras are helpful, but I am still basically living in fear. With a few weeks to go until I have my first scan, how can I stop being so afraid?! We love this baby so much, I just want everything to be okay this time.

*Update* I had a scan today and it revealed a sac and yolk but no fetal pole. Looks like at least another week of being terrified and unsure. Love you all for your words and support so far.

tg1993

Hi. I have felt the same in the beginning of pregnancy. It is scary not knowing if this one is going to be the rainbow you have been hoping for. My favorite mantras are "I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise."  and " Today I am pregnant and i love my baby". They helped me get through some days but that fear didn't got away for me until about 24 weeks or so. I think being PgAL this is just another hard thing we have to deal with. 

Sorry I didn't have any real advice. Just know that people here have been through this and there is always someone here that will be there to support you.

dawnstar898

I don't have any real advice either because I am in the same boat as you and I just don't know what to do to keep myself sane!  I just wanted to offer (((hugs)))

kate6214

I know how hard those first few weeks are. It's ok to feel nervous. Take it one day at a time.

Blairbear28

I appreciate you all so much! I would be lost without this community.

Samuelismomma

Welcome and congrats. I was a wreck first trimester. It's normal. Wishing you h&h 9 months and big hugs!

lcwed

As other people have said, the first few weeks are hard.  I am almost 9 weeks and have only recently started to feel more confident.  I still get doubts, but when they come around, this is the mantra that helps me. "There is nothing I can do to prevent a m/c from happening. Worrying yourself sick doesn't prevent a m/c. And if (God forbid) it were to happen again, I know I will survive."  Especially the part in bold.  That's what works for me.  Good luck with the next few weeks and hugs until you get to see your little doing great on an u/s.

MrsSnyder124

I am with you sister . Living in fear . But each night I'm thankful for another day pregnant ! I can't wait for that first appointment ...I feel like I will feel loads better then . I'll be thinking of you! Just keep swimmin!

mingaling2

You are definitely not alone. Hugs!

chicagojackie

Hugs to you! The beginning is the hardest.

Thatchmama

I posted this exact same thing when I was in my first trimester. It's so hard when you're waiting for the other shoe to drop all the time. I agree with everyone else repeat the mantras and focus on every tiny positive you can. Thoughts and Prayers that it gets easier.

Blairbear28

I check in every other minute and stare at the appleseed. Tomorrow it changes to a pea!! Time passes slowly, but it would be unbarable without you all!!

mpiemont

One day at a time- the beginning is so hard. Praying for a healthy pregnancy for you!

adcollins84

I am in the same boat. This is my fifth pregnancy. The other four resulted in miscarriage. I check every time I wipe, I get sick to my stomach before appointments, and I constantly Google (never a good idea lol). I have had three ultrasounds and all have been good, but I am so scared. I don't know if it will ever go away and to be honest I think I haven't allowed myself to be excited. I have no reason to think this it gonna happen for me, but I have no reason to think it won't. Most of my thoughts are of worry

Mills0401

I am so sorry I pray everything goes smoothly and your first trimester is over quickly! It is natural to stay in fear mode. I'm going through it myself and keep reminding myself that I have no control over what happens and that's okay.

Flowerstar1023

One day at a time dear. I still have to tell myself that now since, as I got out of the first trimester I just found new things to worry about. "Today I am pregnant and what a blessing that is" and "Thanks baby for another day." Repeat as needed. Hugs.

jenandbrett

I'm so sorry, I'm in the same boat as you. Before I got pregnant this time, I was praying through my fear and asking God how I could Not be afraid this time because although I trust Him wholly, I know that in no way means my baby will be ok. I felt Him say, "you're right, there are no guarantees, but a baby in your stomach is yours. Every day it's with you, you can cherish it." Every life is a gift, no matter how short. So that's what I'm trying to consciously choose, to cherish each day I have with my baby. I love my baby today and that is all any of us are guaranteed anyways.

joannerows

I am so scared of every symptom or absence of symptoms! But every time I have a cramp or feel nausea, I tell my belly: grow baby grow! I try to use the changes in my body as encouragement instead of fear. It works for me!

pblge

((hugs)) It's very early, especially if you might be so much as a day off on your dates. When you're under 6 weeks, it's extremely unlikely that you'll see a HB on a scan. It sounds like they saw exactly what they're supposed to see at this stage, so that's great news! FX that this week flies by--try to stay positive!--and that your next scan is great!

mamaz3

I agree 100% with everyone above and wanted to add that I personally had an u/s at 5.5 weeks showing only sac with yolk, 8 days later saw tiny heart beat, 10 days after that saw little arm buds. (Please don't hate on me for so many u/s, my Doctor was very understanding and happy to do them to keep my after loss crazy mind at ease, I'm over that phase now) Having faith after loss is wicked stressful, but hopefully hearing others with the same experience will help. Sending very happy positive vibes your way!

jap618

Sending positive vibes your way ((hugs))

beemaya83

Sending good vibes your way. It may be a little too early to see anything else. Hang in there.

welly01

I'm sorry your scan didn't give you some comfort.  Its still very early though.  FX that your next scan is better!

TealAppeal

Hoping the next scan brings you good news!

Blairbear28

mamaz3 said:

I agree 100% with everyone above and wanted to add that I personally had an u/s at 5.5 weeks showing only sac with yolk, 8 days later saw tiny heart beat, 10 days after that saw little arm buds. (Please don't hate on me for so many u/s, my Doctor was very understanding and happy to do them to keep my after loss crazy mind at ease, I'm over that phase now)

Having faith after loss is wicked stressful, but hopefully hearing others with the same experience will help. Sending very happy positive vibes your way!

Thank you!!! I could never hate on your for that many ultrasounds, I'd have one daily to reassure myself if I could!