Talk me down ladies

Moty2013

I'm trying not to be hurt and trying harder not to through a teenage fit. So maybe someone could talk me down. My mom requests that my immediate family go over to my brothers family to open gifts and eat this morning. My brother has 3 kids (one of which is his fiances daughter but I'm counting her as a grand kid) this is the first year ds could really open presents (thank god not old enough to really understand what was going on). My mother bought my kid 2 gifts. She bought my brothers kids 7 gifts each. My ds had to sit there and watch the other kids open all there gifts. It was really hard to watch for me. The bigger kids even took a break and finished opening there gifts after breakfast because we just started making our plates and eating cause I felt bad for ds. Obviously my mom noticed I was upset and called me on the way home to say I looked upset and that she hopes it wasn't cause ds didn't get as many presents which only made me even more upset that she knew. I said I wasn't upset but I obviously am. I know Christmas isn't about the presents but it just really hurt my feelings to see him sitting there if he had actually understood what had happened I don't know what I'd have done. There would be no point in bringing it up again obviously she feels knows what happened if she called and asked me if that was why I was mad. So, devils advocate anyone? Someone give me a stern lecture about the spirit of Christmas

kelly321

I think at this age, 7 presents is overwhelming. I know that DD2 wanted to stop after her first gift this morning. We had to coax her to open another 2 and then she was just done. The others (from my mom and brother) we opened for her. So at this age, l think fewer presents is just fine.

In the future things might be more difficult, though, since numbers will be more important. I don't know if I have any good suggestions for you, but hopefully your mom will be more aware of making sure she gives about the same number of gifts to each grandchild.

Moty2013

Thanks ladies. My brothers dd is 10 mo and she got the same amount as her brothers and sisters. So it's not an age issue. I only looked at my nephews gifts who was sitting next to us cause ds kept trying to grab them. He got 3 xbox live games, a safe, 2 tween series books I don't know the tittles, a drawing pad with coloring pencils and instructional book and phone case and some gift card for games. Ds got a vetch racetrack and extra cars so it wasn't a matter of equal value.

I'm just telling my self she knows Dh spoils my son and that's why she bought them more toys. It's making me feel a little better. Also, my brother and his kids lived over there up until just a few years ago and she watched then every week. Where as I've always stayed at home with ds so maybe she just feels closer to them. Anyway, I'm trying to brush it off. Merry Christmas (bah hum bug) thanks for hearing me out. I guess I should have labeled this a vent

mishka29

That's hard. You don't want to get into a comparison but it's hard not to when it's right in your face. It's not a matter of the gifts but more about why is my kid being treated differently.

If they used to live with your mom until recently then that could explain it. I think you were right not to say anything but it was also nice of her to recognize that it may have been an issue and maybe next time she won't show favoritism.

tamarar5

I know how your ds would feel if he were older. My dad's family has done this to me every year for as long add I can remember. My grandparents give have given me a $20 gift card or check for about 20 years. That's fine whatever. Money is awesome. My cousin however, got a Living room furniture set one year. With a flat screen TV. All new. Another year, they gave her the kitchen aid mixer. And I was with my grandmother when she bought it. They've always fawned over her because "poor kid had divorced parents" and I didn't.

It sucked. It flat out sucks to see such blatant favoritism. I mean, if you aren't giving the kids the same thing (cost OR quantity) then the kids should never open gifts together. I hate family Christmases.

Moty2013

Thank you all for listening and sensible words. @tamarar5‌ I think what you said makes sense about not opening them together. We might just opt out of the morning Christmas opening next year. If we don't have to sit there and watch it won't even be a problem. We have Christmas dinner with the big extended family anyway. One less place to go sounds tempting

singingsea

I understand being a little hurt for your child but I'd use it as a learning tool. I think it's good for kids to learn...(floundering for words here) not to expect something? I don't think I'm expressing myself correctly but there was a period during Christmas eve where Kieran got a present or two and then had to watch the other kids open. I think it's good for him. I'm sorry your mom wasn't being all that fair.