MIL crossing the line

MLE_C2B

So my MIL which has always loved to pretend I don't exist ( throws me out of pictures and substitutes herself) announced today to my 4yr old that she was going to " steal him and his brother on the 8th of February to take them to a party at her coworkers. " with no mention to me prior. God forbid she ask. I've never left my kids with her since DS1 was 5 months and I came back to a drunk FIL with him in the garage holding a wrench and a turkey frier in use to heat the garage( carbon monoxide anyone?) while MIL sat on the couch watching QVC. She recently asked to take DS1 to a hotel with a fun pool without us and I said no since he can't swim (implying I didn't trust them to not drown him ) I'm sure that's why she didn't ask and skipped to hyping it up to my 4yr old. This is so crossing the line. WWYD???

Micavanaugh

I agree that maybe your husband should say something if he is willing to. Otherwise, too late now, but I think I would have said right then and there to my 4 year old that grandma is going to have to ask mom for permission first... Two can play that game. I would be frustrated too. Hopefully your husband will back you up.

kaleb87

I have the same relationship with my MIL. Rather than her asking me hey can I take your dd on this date, for this. She instead tells my dd and gets her all excited then I am the bad and mean one when I say no. However, I would much rather be the mean one and know my kids are safe. My dh has talked with her about it, and it hasn't gotten us anywhere. So, all I can say is good luck and stand your ground! I always think maybe one day my kids will understand why I have to be tbe bad guy and always say no.
Oh, and @Micavanaugh I like your idea, I might just turn the tables on her next time.

MLE_C2B

I should have mentioned that she waited till I left the room to go to the kitchen and only overheard the convo. I feel like my opportunity to object had passed by the time I collected myself. I was like spit-fire pissed/shocked when I heard it.

bf43005

"Wow that sounds like fun Mommy can't wait to go to this party with you and Grandma on the 8th"

ashaw512

I would have walked in there and asked her number one, what kind of party and number two, why did she not ask you. It may seem bitchy but those are your kids not hers. You are concerned for their safety and don't trust her to keep them safe. Then I would tell her that you will be going too bc your LO is too young to go to a party without you. If she can't handle one, how the hell is she going to handle two. If she gets her panties in a wad then make sure your DH talks to her about it.

MLE_C2B

She lives 90 min away, I'm thinking about waiting for her to ask then spitting my fire and if she doesn't ask I'll head downtown with my babies to the museum or something while she wastes her gas in her little scheme I " knew nothing about"

jht14

When it comes to the safety of your children you need to be upfront with her. Tell her you're not comfortable and you are either going as well or your children aren't going at all. I wouldn't beat around the bush with this.