(also a PW)..... WWSAIF do?

JBDamonM

So as I"m sure you all know from my 7 million posts of late. I am scheduled for my beta tomorrow. on Christmas Eve. HORRIBLE timing.

I "may" have accidentally committed to spending Christmas Eve with my family without talking to DH first. I thought this was a no brainer since we do Christmas Day with his family. And Christmas Eve was always the holiday we spent with my dad.

I was willing to bend in hopes we could do a stop there and then go wherever he wanted. But then..... He said last week he would go. So I never changed the plan.

Now, natrually he is being a total butt. We had a rather intense argument last night (b/c that's what everyone needs in their 2WW)...... and even though he tried to pin it on other things, I think this was the catalyst. Especially since we had the same argument on the same day last year

Soooooooo. I'm thinking I need to call my mom today and tell her we may not make it if it's a BFN. If we get bad news and I drag him there, the situation is going to implode. And frankly my entire holiday will be ruined. Even though I would like to at least go for part of it, I Feel like I need to do what's best for my marriage right now. I actually have tried to put this on my moms radar screen all week, but she doesn't get it and just says "don't go there yet."......

So WWSAIF do? How bad is it if I make this call today? My mom and stepdad know all the dirty details of this IVF - no one else in the family does.....But my sister ran into me at Starbucks yesterday and I've barely been able to keep my composure together so I'm sure she walked out of there with a big fat WTF is up with her......

TJ1979

I agree with Ducky. Skip this year if you that is what is best for your marriage. Fx for you tomorrow.

JBDamonM

Yes, big time issues.

Only one of my sisters is here this year, the other is in New Zealand with her in-laws, he had it in his head that we were going to do Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with his on the years she was in New Zealand, and vice versa on the years she is here. That's fine - but my family lives here, so I don't see the point in why we wouldn't at least stop by. And furthermore, um - you agreed to go on your own terms last week, I never pushed this.

If a potential BFN wasn't in the cards tomorrow I would ignore him but if it goes that direction I just feel like it'll be way too much to deal with and get really ugly.

MoFree

Is it possible for you to go alone or would that cause more marital discord?

JBDamonM

It may be possible..... But I just feel like it's all going to be a game time decision depending on how tomorrow goes, so I should at least put it on my mom's radar.

JBDamonM

The easiest thing way to say it, which I have failed at. Even though he has some issues with my family, he is still able to put on the game face and play nice at events. I feel like if there is a BFN right before this event, he is not going to be able to do it...... 

luvboston

I would go alone, I hate to say it but he needs to put his big boy panties on no matter what happens tomorrow. He's acting like a 2 year old and it makes no sense that if your sister is away you should leave your parents alone.

JBDamonM

Yes I can, I feel like I should just put the possibility out there..... My family isn't flexible and i know she's going to get annoyed by this, but like I mentioned I tried to tell her this several times this week and she just says "don't go there." This is exactly why I wanted my beta moved up to today

So it wasn't so messy!

@Ducky719 - I hope your enthusiasm pays off. I promise you one thing, if tears were any indicator of pregnancy - I would be having quads. I have been an emotional DISASTER since Saturday (another spark for the argument with my husband -  I haven't been positive enough......Bite me It's called being a realist.

mcgeeva

I feel like it's already last minute so telling today vs tomorrow won't matter. At this point I would wait to see what the results are tomorrow and go from there. Because  I don't think I could put on a fake smile for a family visit (again hoping that isn't the case!)

mdiblasi10

I am so sorry you are faced with this dilemma in the first place. I've been thinking about you as Christmas Eve approaches. I really, really hope tomorrow brings great news so you won't have to worry about this at all. Big hugs!

Julie21613

bellalou32 said:

IMO thanksgiving is 1 day Christmas consists of 2 and if you're spending it with his family, I don't see why you couldn't go to your family's house on Christmas eve for 2 or so hrs, even if it was during the day and do his side at night. I think it's a little selfish BUT like I said, just my opinion.

THIS!  So rather then repeat... I agree with bella.  I also wanted to send you lots of great first beta vibes for tomorrow.....I'll be storming the heavens with prayers for you tonight @JBdamonM

imoverit

This is all very messy. Praying for nothing but good news tomorrow so all of this will be a non issue. Hugs.

JBDamonM

You ladies are the best. I'm totally choked up reading these messages (me, cry? There's a shock...) I appreciate all the prayers. I myself have practically turned into a nun the past 9 days. Hopefully it' pays off. Also no decision made about tomorrow. We will figure it out as we go. I do however wish this all wasn't happening on Christmas Eve, but such is life.