Circumcision

oneblessedmess

H isn't circumcised (and he has had no problem keeping things clean down there) so we most likely will not be having it done if this one is a boy. We don't really see the point.

Mamamads

Marlee8 said:

qtjo5 said:

I never realized this was such a heated topic! First time mom here and it never crossed my mind not to.. Idk? I thought it was more normal to do it than not. Looks like me and hubby need to have a talk and I need to read a book or two on this!

With my first I had no idea it was a thing to think about either!!! My husband is done (TMI??? Lol) so I just assumed we would with our son. But after my midwife told me to do my own research I decided I did not want it done and then the convincing began.
Hubby was easier to convince with the research I presented him. It was our parents who couldn't understand why we wouldn't do it. They may still not fully get it after I've had two boys and gotten neither of them circumcised.
Anyway, it's your own choice. Do your research and educated yourself on the pros and cons of both.

The end decision for me was that they can always do it later if they want. They can't ever un-do it.

If you don't mind me asking I would love to know what information you found that persuaded your hubs not to. I don't know what I'm having yet but I would really like to know more about the pros and cons so I can make a decision if we are having a boy. Any input would be awesome!

Marlee8

Mamamads said:

Marlee8 said:

qtjo5 said:

I never realized this was such a heated topic! First time mom here and it never crossed my mind not to.. Idk? I thought it was more normal to do it than not. Looks like me and hubby need to have a talk and I need to read a book or two on this!

With my first I had no idea it was a thing to think about either!!! My husband is done (TMI??? Lol) so I just assumed we would with our son. But after my midwife told me to do my own research I decided I did not want it done and then the convincing began.
Hubby was easier to convince with the research I presented him. It was our parents who couldn't understand why we wouldn't do it. They may still not fully get it after I've had two boys and gotten neither of them circumcised.
Anyway, it's your own choice. Do your research and educated yourself on the pros and cons of both.

The end decision for me was that they can always do it later if they want. They can't ever un-do it.

If you don't mind me asking I would love to know what information you found that persuaded your hubs not to. I don't know what I'm having yet but I would really like to know more about the pros and cons so I can make a decision if we are having a boy. Any input would be awesome!

Well my midwife gave me a bunch of research that showed there weren't any medical benefits to doing it - but I always get both sides before I decide things. So I just researched myself online and read as much as I could about the reasonings for both options. Once I read about the pros and cons to both ways I decided that I didn't want it done and then showed everything I found to my husband.

My advice to you would be to read as much as you can. And be critical of where the info you're reading is coming from and who is publishing it. Then decide.

Good luck!

pixiepink24

I don't know what I am having yet and I am still debating if we will circumcise or not. This is not because "its painful" or "its torture" that other people say. It's because many other factors. These days less and less people are getting circumcised. Its not necessary. I think its only like 60% now? Also, besides for religious reasons, it was only started to prevent masterbation. It also makes sex less pleasurable. Cutting the foreskin takes away many nerve endings that heighten sexual experiences. Research it! And just for fun, here is a great and funny video to explain.
https://youtu.be/gCSWbTv3hng

melanie1422

I was really on the fence about it until my mom mentioned something....when my grandfather was in the nursing home, one of the nurses was bathing him and was so glad he was circ'd. She said the old men who aren't tend to get infected. I guess once they get old and frail and can't take care of themselves, they quit cleaning that part well...then problems arise. Those poor old men at the nursing home had enough trouble without that making things worse.

ChristyM87

melanie1422 said:

I was really on the fence about it until my mom mentioned something....when my grandfather was in the nursing home, one of the nurses was bathing him and was so glad he was circ'd. She said the old men who aren't tend to get infected. I guess once they get old and frail and can't take care of themselves, they quit cleaning that part well...then problems arise. Those poor old men at the nursing home had enough trouble without that making things worse.

Not to be mean but if the elderly can't clean it then their caregivers should. My guess is nursing homes don't see a lot of uncircumcised penises and may not know how to clean it

melanie1422

Oh, the nurses were cleaning them...it was that period of time right before they get into the nursing home, so when theyre admitted there are...problems. Basically when they were responsible for themselves, they didn't do very well with that part. I mean, I'm sure after they've been at the home for a while, they get it under control, but I just worry about that in between time. Most old people don't really go from fully autonomous to can't take care of themselves overnight, ya know?

yelah250

We circumcised our first son but will not be doing it again if we have a second son. I feel a lot of regret that we forced that on him at birth.

ChristyM87

melanie1422 said:

Oh, the nurses were cleaning them...it was that period of time right before they get into the nursing home, so when theyre admitted there are...problems. Basically when they were responsible for themselves, they didn't do very well with that part. I mean, I'm sure after they've been at the home for a while, they get it under control, but I just worry about that in between time. Most old people don't really go from fully autonomous to can't take care of themselves overnight, ya know?

True, but as a nurse I have also seen some nastiness from women not cleaning under their boobs or their vaginas very well.

melanie1422

God thats probably true. Yuck. I still dont know what the best choice is. I just dont ever want to get old.

picklesandwich

wineandcake said:

inLOVEalready715 said:

i guess i missed this thread the first time around...but holy crap $500 for a circumcision in the hospital...whoa.  I know its like $750ish to have a mohel do a bris at home (in ny), I always just thought insurance covered it in the hospital.  Something to maybe look into in the future.  if we have a boy we are getting one, DH is jewish and circumcised, so it is just works for us with traditions and looking like daddy.  all the men in our families are cut...however I don't think there is anything wrong or dirty with uncut, you do it or you don't, no big deal. 

The 500$ is in Canada, may be cheaper in other areas of Canada. I'm in Northern Ontario and in our district only one pediatrician does it so he can charge whatever. It isn't a necessary procedure so OHIP doesn't cover it and insurance won't either.

Definitely cheaper in other parts of Canada. We live in Canada as well and it cost us $250 for both our boys. If we have another it will be free because they finally do the procedure at our hospital now. And they do it the same day your child is born. So much easier than waiting and stressing about it.

To be totally honest, I hate the idea of it and the procedure is terrible. My babies cried so much and I felt so bad, but it was important to us both to have it done. Dh's entire family is males including all 10 cousins and everyone has had it done. My sil didn't, and her boy ended up needing it at 3 years old. That was awful for him. Since then she's had all her boys circ'd.

jgrace82

melanie1422 said:

I was really on the fence about it until my mom mentioned something....when my grandfather was in the nursing home, one of the nurses was bathing him and was so glad he was circ'd. She said the old men who aren't tend to get infected. I guess once they get old and frail and can't take care of themselves, they quit cleaning that part well...then problems arise. Those poor old men at the nursing home had enough trouble without that making things worse.

False.

Edit. I effed up. Qbf.

muffyvonmuff

Im happy DH and I were in agreement from the beginning.  That being said my kids genitals aren't anyone else's business and I would defer to my DH since, you know, he has one and all.  

yelah250

I don't understand the whole defer to your husband thing. It's not like he tried it both ways and then decided which way he prefers.

yelah250

That's like saying your husband should have zero opinion about breastfeeding or birth because he doesn't have breasts or uterus.

muffyvonmuff

yelah250 said:

I don't understand the whole defer to your husband thing. It's not like he tried it both ways and then decided which way he prefers.

You have tried it both ways?  How about even just one way?  

yelah250 said:

That's like saying your husband should have zero opinion about breastfeeding or birth because he doesn't have breasts or uterus.

If my husband said he didn't want me to breastfeed and I wanted to, I still would.  And if my husband said he wanted me to get a C section but I wanted a vaginal birth….I  would have a vaginal birth.  I don't even see how either compare to a childs penis.  Breastfeeding and the way I delivered actually wasn't a mutual decision we even had to make.  I guess you can compare circumcisions to ear piercing an infant? kinda

ChristyM87

muffyvonmuff said:

yelah250 said:

I don't understand the whole defer to your husband thing. It's not like he tried it both ways and then decided which way he prefers.

You have tried it both ways?  How about even just one way?  

yelah250 said:

That's like saying your husband should have zero opinion about breastfeeding or birth because he doesn't have breasts or uterus.

If my husband said he didn't want me to breastfeed and I wanted to, I still would.  And if my husband said he wanted me to get a C section but I wanted a vaginal birth….I  would have a vaginal birth.  I don't even see how either compare to a childs penis.  Breastfeeding and the way I delivered actually wasn't a mutual decision we even had to make.  I guess you can compare circumcisions to ear piercing an infant? kinda

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It is nothing like ear piercing. You can reverse a piercing. You can't reverse a circumcision.

muffyvonmuff

ChristyM87 said:

yelah250 said:

I don't understand the whole defer to your husband thing. It's not like he tried it both ways and then decided which way he prefers.

You have tried it both ways?  How about even just one way?  

yelah250 said:

That's like saying your husband should have zero opinion about breastfeeding or birth because he doesn't have breasts or uterus.

If my husband said he didn't want me to breastfeed and I wanted to, I still would.  And if my husband said he wanted me to get a C section but I wanted a vaginal birth….I  would have a vaginal birth.  I don't even see how either compare to a childs penis.  Breastfeeding and the way I delivered actually wasn't a mutual decision we even had to make.  I guess you can compare circumcisions to ear piercing an infant? kinda

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - It is nothing like ear piercing. You can reverse a piercing. You can't reverse a circumcision.

I mean you could do foreskin restoration.  Just to play devils advocate.  

ChristyM87

muffyvonmuff said:

ChristyM87 said:

muffyvonmuff said:

yelah250 said:

I don't understand the whole defer to your husband thing. It's not like he tried it both ways and then decided which way he prefers.

You have tried it both ways?  How about even just one way?  

yelah250 said:

That's like saying your husband should have zero opinion about breastfeeding or birth because he doesn't have breasts or uterus.

If my husband said he didn't want me to breastfeed and I wanted to, I still would.  And if my husband said he wanted me to get a C section but I wanted a vaginal birth….I  would have a vaginal birth.  I don't even see how either compare to a childs penis.  Breastfeeding and the way I delivered actually wasn't a mutual decision we even had to make.  I guess you can compare circumcisions to ear piercing an infant? kinda

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It is nothing like ear piercing. You can reverse a piercing. You can't reverse a circumcision.


I mean you could do foreskin restoration.  Just to play devils advocate.  

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
From what I know about that, which isn't much, I don't think all men are candidates. I thought it depends how much was taken off during the circumcision

yelah250

Unless your husband made an informed decision after doing research about his own circumcision (and I highly doubt many men would choose to do this), then your feelings and research is just as valid.

yelah250

But maybe we are just this crazy couple who don't separate our decisions based on our genitals...

muffyvonmuff

ChristyM87 said:

ChristyM87 said:

yelah250 said:

I don't understand the whole defer to your husband thing. It's not like he tried it both ways and then decided which way he prefers.

You have tried it both ways?  How about even just one way?  

yelah250 said:

That's like saying your husband should have zero opinion about breastfeeding or birth because he doesn't have breasts or uterus.

If my husband said he didn't want me to breastfeed and I wanted to, I still would.  And if my husband said he wanted me to get a C section but I wanted a vaginal birth….I  would have a vaginal birth.  I don't even see how either compare to a childs penis.  Breastfeeding and the way I delivered actually wasn't a mutual decision we even had to make.  I guess you can compare circumcisions to ear piercing an infant? kinda

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - It is nothing like ear piercing. You can reverse a piercing. You can't reverse a circumcision.

I mean you could do foreskin restoration.  Just to play devils advocate.  

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - From what I know about that, which isn't much, I don't think all men are candidates. I thought it depends how much was taken off during the circumcision

I was joking, I don't think anyone is going to get a circ reversal.  These boards get so serious when talking about the genitals of children that aren't theirs.  

ashiscute

yelah250 said:

But maybe we are just this crazy couple who don't separate our decisions based on our genitals...

This seems a bit dramatic to me. I think it's based on experience. I've no experience taking care of a penis in any way and DH has. A lot of the responses were that the women didn't feel strongly one way or another and were fine of their husbands did. To me it's the same as when we found out DD needed glasses last year. I've never worn them and DH has since he was 14. I was okay letting him sort of lead the way since he has more experience there than I do. And the breastfeeding and birth comments made no sense because those are about the women's body. We are talking about making decisions together for kids.

ChristyM87

sassycassieb said:

I mean, I don't want to keep stirring the pot on this but I think both parents should be involved in any medical decision made for their child. Circumcision is still a medical procedure, no matter how normal it is now.

Exactly. Now if this was a discussion about my husband's penis, then he could make the decision on his own

Mamamads

Ima agree with @sassycassieb‌ and whoever else said it, I don't let my husband make any medical decisions regarding our kids on his own so this one is no different. If he feels strongly one way he can show me research backing his pov but like anything else this should be a joint decision. Even though he is the one with a penis he can't speak to the differences of having it circumcised and not having it circumcised because he has only experienced one way or the other most his life. (Most likely)

pixiepink24

I hate when people compare circumcision to piercing ears. Like seriously??

yelah250

I didn't feel super strongly about it when we circumcised my son (my husband didn't want him to be different than him and I deferred despite my nagging mother intuition that it was the wrong decision and his reason was actually a total logic fail) -- but after it readhered numerous times - NOT AN UNCOMMON SIDE EFFECT - and *I* was the one dealing with it in the bathtub and taking him to the pediatrician for procedures (my husband worked second shift at that point in our lives), it was pretty obvious this should have been a team decision and I really, really regret letting him make that decision.  I guess my point is that I don't care what *you* do with *your sons* genitals, but at least do your research and know what it entails and what COMMON side effects and problems can occur because it's doubtful it will be all your husbands problem to deal with.

And whoever said that breastfeeding and birth was just a womans body decision - they can deeply impact a child, especially nursing.  That is why, in my opinion, it is 100% a decision to be made together as parents.

yelah250

ashiscute said:

yelah250 said:

But maybe we are just this crazy couple who don't separate our decisions based on our genitals...

This seems a bit dramatic to me. I think it's based on experience. I've no experience taking care of a penis in any way and DH has. A lot of the responses were that the women didn't feel strongly one way or another and were fine of their husbands did. To me it's the same as when we found out DD needed glasses last year. I've never worn them and DH has since he was 14. I was okay letting him sort of lead the way since he has more experience there than I do. And the breastfeeding and birth comments made no sense because those are about the women's body. We are talking about making decisions together for kids.

I'm assuming your husband has not had experience with taking care of an uncircumcised penis.  And he didn't make the decision for himself - his parents decided when he was a newborn and probably did 0% research for it as it was a cultural norm at that point.  It is no longer "what everybody does" because there is a lot of information about how it's unnecessary.  So maybe it's time to do some research and not base a decision off of generations of people doing it as a cultural ritual.

csquid361

If we have a son we'll be getting him circumcised. The only thing that's unsure is when. My friend told me about her second son and how he had a lot of trouble with his because it became reattached and infected a few times. When he was born he had a big 'pooch' of fat around his penis area that kind of swallowed up his little penis so after it was circumcised it went back into the pooch and had lots of problems (puss under the skin that erupted, etc.). He just turned 2 and a half and it's just now finally healing correctly, poor kid. I'm going to make sure to wait on it if we happen to have a baby with the same situation.

ashiscute

yelah250 said:

ashiscute said:

yelah250 said:

But maybe we are just this crazy couple who don't separate our decisions based on our genitals...

This seems a bit dramatic to me. I think it's based on experience. I've no experience taking care of a penis in any way and DH has. A lot of the responses were that the women didn't feel strongly one way or another and were fine of their husbands did. To me it's the same as when we found out DD needed glasses last year. I've never worn them and DH has since he was 14. I was okay letting him sort of lead the way since he has more experience there than I do. And the breastfeeding and birth comments made no sense because those are about the women's body. We are talking about making decisions together for kids.

I'm assuming your husband has not had experience with taking care of an uncircumcised penis.  And he didn't make the decision for himself - his parents decided when he was a newborn and probably did 0% research for it as it was a cultural norm at that point.  It is no longer "what everybody does" because there is a lot of information about how it's unnecessary.  So maybe it's time to do some research and not base a decision off of generations of people doing it as a cultural ritual.

I must be the densest person alive because your post doesn't make any sense to me.  I feel like it is response to what you wish I'd said versus what I actually said.  I said "a lot of the women have posted that they did not feel strongly one way or the other and that they were okay with their husbands decision if he had a strong opinion".  My point isn't that women shouldn't or don't care.  It's that sometimes they feel more comfortable referring to the person who has a stronger opinion and some experience.  

I actually never said my husband was circumcised.  So I obviously didn't say he chose circumcision.  I didn't express my opinion on circumcision one way or another.  

kalix87

My fiance is uncircumcised. We have both talked about whether we would circumcise our son or not, and considering he has never had any issues, I doubt that we will.

MissJennC15

We don't know if we're having a boy or girl yet, but if it is a boy, we will be getting him circumcised.

yveee

My son is circumcised and he's never had a problem

natalie115

Ok, full disclosure I didn't read the currently 91 replies so I'm sure this has been said.

There's no right or wrong decision, only what's right for your family.

We had DS circ'd and if this one is a boy he will be too. Personal decision and we're happy with it

masabmom

I am probably a rare women who overruled her husband on this. I didn't even care what his opinion was, I had made up my mind. In hindsight really not something you can get wrong, it's just personal preference.

BabysMomma4

Personal and religious reasons will dictate this and is different for everyone. My first was a boy and I was completely satisfied with what we chose for him. He's also glad we chose for him what we did as he is now a teenager.

 

mhuang1

All I could think about was the Cosmo article regarding the CDC and circumcision debate and the commentary from the men. Most of them said that it was not only not the parents decision but definitely not a woman's decision (which pissed me off). I do agree that it's a joint decision and I know which way we're going should we have a baby boy, but doing research will give you a definitive opinion and the best of luck on whichever you choose!

Marlee8

masabmom said:

I am probably a rare women who overruled her husband on this. I didn't even care what his opinion was, I had made up my mind. In hindsight really not something you can get wrong, it's just personal preference.

Me too! Because I did my research and presented him with facts that he couldn't prove otherwise. Doing it "because it's always been done" or to match daddy's are not valid arguments. So I showed hubby all the stuff I read and told him we weren't doing it. He couldn't prove why we should so we didn't.

I always think that my boys can get it done themselves if they really want to. But I was not making a decision for them that didn't have medical backing just because my husband is circumcised. They can decide if they want to do if later, but if I did do it for them, they couldn't undo it.