**Multiple Loss Ladies Check-In**

BookishMomma

***BFP Warning*** There is a BFP at the end of this check-in. Please scroll past it if you are having a bad day.

Good morning, lovelies! Welcome to the Multiple Loss Ladies check-in. It's posted the 2nd and 4th Mondays of the month. Come on in and let us know how you're doing. However, please do NOT update the old check in after the week of the check in has gone by. If you need anything from me between check ins, or if you get a BFP, please PM me. 

*~*~*Our Members*~*~*Ally1986, Bookishmomma, Buggirl72, BunnyBun4,CallaLily30, Discouraged31, ElleBelle2384, Elliecat17, Eurydicenymph, FrenchTeacherMama, GeorgiaDottie, HoldingOutHope, Jj32, kateLM, kreardon11, LauraO11, Lav17, LeLoyd, Lycih, Megrae12, Mlal78, MrsG80inTN, MrsPipp, MyFirstRaspberry, Nikolie93, O2girl, PinkCamino, Rachaeleigh, RG1979, Rocks526, SeaParrot, Sunflwra

New members: Feel free to join in if you’ve had multiple losses. Please make sure that you are able to make time to update us bi-weekly. If you have already posted an intro on the main board, just post a short one here to refresh our memories. If you haven’t intro-ed on the main board, we encourage you to do so.

If you don't see your name below, it's because you did not participate in the last check-in or have not updated us in a while. Feel free to pop in with an update.

@megrae12 I loved the CS Lewis quote you posted on your blog: "Faith is the art of holding on to things in spite of your changing moods and circumstances." How are you holding up, love?

@leloyd I hope you've gotten a break from the bleeding. How are you feeling?

@mrspipp I'm sorry AF is here. I hope she goes easy on you. ((Hugs))

@jj32 I'm glad you got in to see the RE and have a plan for dealing with the Factor II diagnosis. Have you gotten your Counsyl results back yet?

@readinglove I'm glad you like your new OB. GL with the HSG next month. How are you doing?

@mrsG80inTN Any update on your quest to switch doctors?

@mlal78 GL with the Femara this month. Really hoping 3rd time is a charm.

@lycih Yay for crosshairs! Looks like you had good timing. FX FX FX

@kreardon11 I love your new Ariel avatar. Did you end up seeing the RE or did you decide to postpone? 

@frenchteachermama Hope your recovery from your surgery was smooth. Do you have a schedule yet for your FET?

@Nikolie93 I'm so sorry for the mix-up with what you thought was your RE appointment. How are you doing this week?

@LauraO11 so glad your hysteroscopy went well!

@holdingouthope Are you at your in-laws' house now? Looks like you managed to HIO anyway!

@discouraged31 How are you holding up? Hope the holidays can provide distraction between now and your FET.

@O2girl How are you doing, my dear?

@furrypaws I know you've been feeling rough the last couple of weeks. This time of year can be a real bitch for those of us who deal with depression. Just want to give ((hugs)) and check in to see how you're doing.

@ellebelle2384 How did everything go on Friday with your biopsy? When will you get the results?

@kateLM Good luck with your medicated cycle.

@georgiadottie GL this month with your natural cycle. FX

@sunflwra I think you're headed into your FW soon? GL!

@Pinkcamino So sorry you've been dealing with trolls in addition to the other shitty shit you've had lately. How are you doing?

QOTW: What's your favorite holiday tradition?

To all the ML Ladies: I know that this time of year can be hard when you've faced losses. Nonetheless, I hope that each one of you is able to find a few moments of magic during the holiday season and, most of all, that 2015 brings you joy and peace.

***Warning: BFP Below***

Congratulations to @Dawnstar898 on her BFP! We wish her a very healthy and happy 9 months! If you wish to congratulate her, please PM her or head over to PGAL to do so.  

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edit- format

Nikolie93

Hey @bookishmomma, thanks for the check in! How are you doing? 

@Nikolie93 I'm so sorry for the mix-up with what you thought was your RE appointment. How are you doing this week?

The mix up was a big MF for MH and I and it set up back a bit mentally. I think he's ready to throw in the towel soon so we shall see. 

This week I am just concentrating on trying to stay sane at the IL's for 2 weeks and by that I mean drinking... A LOT.  

I hope all you ladies are doing well, so many  >:D< 's to you all. 

megrae12

Thanks for the check in Bookish! How are you, love? 

I loved that quote too! I really love C.S. Lewis!! I am ok. Getting over the flu which sucks. I can't take Tamiflu b/c I am allergic so I just have to suffer. My doc literally told me, I am writing you a script for medicine I have never written before b/c you are the only patient I have who can't take Tamiflu. Sigh* Thanks again body, you rock. Bleh. On another note, it looks like I may have O'd (while I had the flu). I am waiting on another temp rise to confirm. Either way, it's great I O'd but we did not have any good timing. Like we will have O-2. Oh well. I am ok with it. I think. 

BookishMomma

@nikolie93 I can't believe you're at your in-laws for 2 WEEKS. My in-laws are great, but I would be ragey stabby by the end of 2 weeks in anyone's house, let alone relatives.

@megrae12 O-2 is not terrible timing. But I'm sure with feeling so crappy, HIO was the last thing you felt like doing. I really hope your body kicks this thing soon! 

@jj32 Ugh, I'm so sorry you had such a long AF. In between and after losses, I've had weird cycles like that, too, where you have lots of days of spotting. I would definitely continue to temp and use the OPKs until you can confirm O. I would mention the long cycle to your doctor, too, just in case there's anything he/she wants to look into.

@mlal78 I hope the timing of the Femara is NBD. I don't know a lot about it, but maybe someone else can chime in who has experience?

AFM, yes, I'm feeling pretty ready for Christmas. I did a lot of gift wrapping and baking this weekend. It was relaxing, actually. I'm in my FW now, but DH is sick, so I'm not sure we'll get any sexy time in, which is OK. We're *trying* to take a more laid back approach to TTC anyway, at least for a couple of months. We'll see how that goes...

mrspipp

Thanks for the check-in @BookishMomma!

This is my first month seeing an RE, and I don't think I ovulated last cycle. I went in for an u/s and bw on CD 14, and no signs of ovulation were present. I finally got a positive OPK last week, and I was supposed to have 7dpo bloodwork done on Tuesday or Friday of this week, but AF came instead. Now, I'm set to do CD3 testing tomorrow, and we may move to medicated cycles.

The holidays are hitting me especially hard, and my first EDD is coming up in January. DH has been having a hard time this month as well, so we may move to a more laid back approach in the new year. 

(((hugs))) to all you lovely, strong ladies this week. 

mrspipp

@jj32 I'm so sorry you are having a frustrating cycle. This was my first month seeing an RE, and my body decided to riot as well. 

MrsG80inTN

Hi friends... I've procrastinated a bunch this am so I'm going to do some check ins later... This post on my TTC status is a XP from another check-in.  So many hugs.  I'll check in with you all later.

I called the RE's office last week to try and get in with another Dr... they take at least a week to get the doc's together and sign off on my switching... yippee.  So I'm hoping to hear back on an appt this week.  I did have some CM this am that made me think that I may O a little earlier than normal, but we shall see.  

Nikolie93

@leloyd *hugs* I hope your MIL understands and it won't cause any issues. 

O2girl

Hiya!!! Ladies!

I'm doing splendidly. I'm working only two days this week then I'm off for 12! TWELVE GLORIOUS DAYS! In a row!!!!

I'm still benched. I will see my RE in January
Around CD2 and start my Lupron dance again. I'm really hoping this next FET is it for me. I don't think I can go on with TTC if it doesn't. My cycles are all screwed up....my emotions are all weird from my hormones being messed with for so long. I did need a break. I'm glad my RE benched me. I have my FX for this next go around and I may have found a little hope because I'm feeling hopeful about it.

Wishing all you lovely ladies a wonderful holiday season! Xoxo

BookishMomma

@holdingouthope Those Italian Christmas Eve dinners sound amazing! Can I come over next year?

@furrypaws More ((hugs)). And, yes, more cookes = better.

@mrspipp So frustrating that your body is not cooperating. I hope your RE can help you sort things out.

@mrsg80intn A week doesn't seem like too bad of a wait for the new doctor. I hope the switch goes smoothly.

@leloyd Yay for a "normal" month! I'm so sorry you're dealing with your loss anniversary on top of all the other crappy emotions of this time of year. Huge ((hugs)) to you.

@o2girl I am hopeful for you, too! Your next FET will be here before you know it.

Nikolie93

@holdingouthope I missed the Italian Christmas Eve dinner. Oh how I miss them!! You know I am right around the corner  ;;)

@o2girl 12 days off, woo hoo!!! Enjoy! 

@mrspipp and @jj32, sorry for wonky schedules *hugs*

bunnybun4

Hi lovely ladies...so good to check in with all of you.  I am slammed at work but promise to read everyone's updates later.

AFM- 3dp5dt here...I am thinking I am about 8dpo.  My FET went well...they said that the embryos looked even better once they thawed then when they originally saw them (that may be normal...but I'll take any good news).  I cried at one point when the dr. left the room to dh just because I was overwhelmed at all we had been through the past two years.  I am on 2 estrogen patches and 4 estrace pills a day which have been making me super uncomfortable so it'll be really hard to differentiate between symptoms.  My beta is on Monday...I am super hopeful but obviously still super scared and can't help but fear how devastated I will be if this doesn't work out.  So here we go with a very sober christmas...at least it will be busy and hopefully will fly by.  all positive vibes welcome for a sucessful cycle.

thinking about all of you during the holidays...I know how hard they can be.  big ((hugs))

BookishMomma

@bunnybun4 Sending so many good luck vibes your way!

Nikolie93

@bunnybun4 so many positive vibes being thrown your way! FX!! 

MrsG80inTN

@bookishmomma - its' just a week to see when I can get the appointment... they said to expect another month for the appt because @sarcaztic10's doctor closed their operations and this is now the only game in town so every one is tryign to switch over.  Craziness :-( 

MrsG80inTN

bunnybun4.  

Discouraged31

Hi all, no updates for me..just waiting for AF to arrive hopefully the beginning of Jan. Trying to just keep busy but unfortunately not really in the holiday mood this year. @Nikolie93 I am totally with you on the drinking a lot! 

Hugs to all of you! 

lycih

Thanks for the check-in Bookish!  
Yes, now that my CH have finally stopped moving, it looks like it's actually out best case scenario for our timing... I'm trying to balance being optimistic but not too optimistic. 
We're at my ILs out of state until Sunday, so I'm weighing the merits of even bothering to test early, especially since my MW wants me to come in for BW immediately upon our (knock on wood) next positive test, so I don't know if I would just freak out being out of state if it turned out we were lucky enough to have been successful this month...  If that makes any sense.

Merry Christmas week and end of Hanukkah for those ladies who celebrate!  

lycih

so many hugs and good luck wishes, bunnybun4 !

kreardon11

@bookishmomma thanks for the checkin!

Long update.....


I had a very long day today and DH is actually driving us to dinner and then therapy as I type this.

Okay! So....no RE appt.....because apparently a molar pregnancy is not actually a "miscarriage" according to insurance???! So, I would need ANOTHER loss to qualify for RPL testing. *fumes coming out of ears*

I had my OB appt today, and went alone and did surprisingly well alone. Pathology showed normal tissues and chromosomes. I'm thankful for no major issues but also left confused as to why it happened since there's no real reason.

OB is going to check my thyroid and ANA again for autoimmune, she's putting me on baby aspirin for MTHFR, more folate for MTHFR as well.

DH and I are considering waiting to TTC becuase were going to Europe in April, but we have been cleared to start TTC after my first regular cycle. I had ovulation signs today so I'm hoping AF visits in two weeks so I can atleast start temping and OPKing again. That will bring back some TTC normalcy, I think.

Emotionally, I'm feeling like I need to try to move forward and focus on the fact that there's no moles present at all and that we can try immediately. It's such a different experience than last time. So, I guess I'll just live with these feelings.

Re: Arielle - it's my fav Disney movie and I keep seeing adds on FB so it made me want to change my avatar:)

QOTW- My current favorite tradition is singing all my xmas concerts. I've been thinking about starting a Christmas letter to family because I think it might be a nice way to think of the great things that happened this year. We'll see!

Since I'm mobile, more later! Xo

Nikolie93

@kreardon11‌ oh no, how frustrating about the no RE appointment! I'm so sorry *hug*

I'm glad there was no big issues found but it sure is a MF when everything is "normal".

dandb925

Hi @BookishMomma‌, I intro'd today on the main board and would love to join the MLL check-in if that's ok! I've had two losses this year (last D&C was in November) and am currently waiting for my beta to fall negative so I can have my saline sonogram. QOTW - my dad's birthday is in December and every year we all watch It's a Wonderful Life. It's a tradition that I really treasure!

purplehaze11

@BookishMomma‌ , thank you for the check in. What a crazy week it has been for me. For those who didn't see my update, I went in for a hysteroscooic myomectomy (removal of my fibroid) and they could not find it. Seriously. Apparently the three weeks of shrinking medication I took (instead of 3 months) seems to have miraculously shrunk it). That being said, all lights are green for ttc, and my OB stressed to make sure we have good timing as getting a BFP sooner increases our chances of a sticky oregnancy, as the fibroid will grow back, but who knows when. So that's a tad anxiety provoking, but it's mixed with relief as well. So, off the bench we go, with fingers crossed for good timing.

ellebelle2384

Thanks for the check-in @BookishMomma.  I'm hanging in there, feeling really down lately.  On one hand I am glad my SIS was normal but on the other hand we still have no proof of any reason we have been having all these losses.  My biopsy results usually would take 3-4 days but with Christmas I may not hear until next week.  I wish there was some way to test egg quality rather than egg retrieval because I am just feeling more and more that is the issue and I really don't have much hope in our natural cycles coming up.  I am looking forward to Christmas vacation at least and will probably be stepping away from the internet for a bit to take a mental health break.

sunflwra

Hello lovelies!  I've been a bit MIA lately- work has been insane and the inlaws got in town last weekend so it's taken up a lot of my free time.  I'm kind of glad I missed this weekend's drama- how terrible   I'm going to try to check back tomorrow and do some individual responses.

Thanks @bookishmomma for the check-in.  Yep, expecting to O on Christmas if things follow the pattern of the last few cycles. Hopefully that means a really luck Christmas present   I'm got my new Wondfos and am trying the newer CBE digital OPKs that supposedly show you your highly fertile days as well as your peak days - who knows how much it helps, but makes me feel like I'm doing a little something extra.  We'll see how it goes.  Other than that, I'm just enjoying the fact that I can drink whatever I want this Christmas and hoping for a really happy new year   Love you ladies and I'm sending huge ((HUGS)) to anyone who needs them. Hope everyone is enjoying their holidays- I know it's a tough time, but you are all loved and appreciated and I'm grateful to have you in my life

BookishMomma

Catching up here...

@MrsG80inTN Ugh, I'm sorry it's going to take so long just to get an RE appointment at the new place. How frustrating.

@Discouraged31 the holidays can be so rough. ((hugs))

@lycih Last year it was right around Christmas when I could have POASed, and I decided to put it off until all of our family was out of town and the festivities had wound down. I was glad I did, because after a loss, either answer (BFP or BFN) comes with its own set of complicated emotions. It was nice to enjoy the holiday without that added stress. Whatever you decide, I wish you luck!

@kreardon11 WTAF about your insurance not counting the molar as a M/C. Insurance makes me irate sometimes! At least it sounds like your OB is being proactive.

@ellebelle2384I hear you on being frustrated about not having any answers. Sending you so many hugs. 

BookishMomma

@dandb925 welcome to the check-in. I'm sorry for your losses and I hope 2015 is a much better year!

@laura011 Sheesh, as if TTC doesn't have enough anxiety already without your doctor telling you to hurry up and get KU! Sending good luck mojo your way...

@sunflwra A word of caution with the CB Digital Advanced. Make sure to read the directions fully! I used it a couple of times before I got a fertility monitor. And it did work and help me get PG (though they were losses). When I first used it, I did not realize you can only test with it once per day and that it stops testing once you get a solid smiley face (i.e., your "peak")  It's more like the fertility monitor in that regard and less like a regular OPK. Good luck!

Frenchteachermama

I'm sorry I'm so late to this check-in and that I can't respond to everyone.  This is a XP from the IF check-in...we literally just arrived at my parents place in Chicago and I snuck away from cookie decorating to write this!

Right now I'm just really worried that the surgery didn't work and this will be the end of the road for me.  I have my follow up appt on 1/5 and once I get AF this cycle I will be monitored mid-cycle to see if the fluid has built up again.  My doctor said we could try an FET with the fluid but most likely it would prevent implantation and possibly cause another miscarriage.  If all is well I'll be put on BCP for my upcoming FET.  Since we're going to Florida at the end of Feb an act of god has to take place for me to get a Feb FET (AF by 1/3, no fluid, and thick enough lining by the week of Feb 9th) otherwise my FET will be in March.  I downloaded two books on adoption to my kindle for my trip.  Adoption or surrogacy would be our only options and I thought it might be a good idea to start researching both.

This time last year I was so hopeful, and that cycle resulted in my second miscarriage.  What a long road it's been.  I'm hoping and praying 2015 is more kind to all of us...

((HUGS)) to all of you!

BookishMomma

@frenchteachermama I am hoping so hard that all looks clear when you go in for your follow-up. I really, really hope that your anxieties are put to rest and that you can go forward with the FET. I have to admit that I've started reading into adoption stuff lately, too. ((Hugs)) Enjoy those Christmas cookies! I just had one for breakfast.

bunnybun4

@ellebelle2384‌ sorry you have been feeling so down. Have you had your ovarian reserve blood work done? That can give you a good picture of what is going on egg-wise. Big ((hugs))

ellebelle2384

Same here @HoldingOutHope. My AMH is good and my AFC are always good on u/s. So it seems like I have a lot of shitty shitty eggs. So frustrating!

Nikolie93

@RG1979‌ I'm sorry for all you've been through.

You aren't alone with a possible end of the road conversation coming. If you ever need to talk/vent feel free to PM me. *hugs*