How much does SO help with baby duty?

victoria+james

Tell me who takes care of baby at home between you and your SO right now. (So if DH is out of town you could say you do 100% even if that isn't Always the case.)

MuffinMom14

Now, I said 50/50 because I'm on maternity leave, so I have her when he's at work, but he has her most of the time when he's home. Once I go back to work it will probably tip more in his direction, since he will have a bit extra time before I get home (I leave later, but she'll sleep until I leave). I just want the play time.....

MrsMac613

I do 100 percent right now because SO will be out of the country for most of her first year but when he was here during her first 6 weeks it was closer to 50/50.

victoria+james

MrsMac613 said:

I do 100 percent right now because SO will be out of the country for most of her first year but when he was here during her first 6 weeks it was closer to 50/50.

More power to you! I do 99%, but that 1% break can still be amazing especially on his fussy days. Utmost respect to you and other moms who are doing so well with SO's unavailable.

ashie0610

I picked 75% if we are just talking O14 babies, since baby needs my boobs. However, DH is doing 75% of DS1's care at this point. He usually gets up with him and gives him breakfast, then does bath and bedtime at night when he gets home from work.

HappyCianci

Major special snowflake here. I don't know if it's really possible to parse out the baby care, because everything we do at home supports the family in some way. Yes, I do the vast majority of diaper changes, I do all the breastfeeding (hah!), and I rock the fussy baby 99% of the time. However, my partner does the whole bedtime routine with our big kid every night, cooks breakfast for us in the morning, takes out the trash, washes the dishes, etc. etc... so there's a lot of division of labor.

I still do more than he does around the house and with the kids, but that's because he works out of the home and I do not. It feels fair that I should do more domestic work. It's too bad I don't get a paycheck for it, though... child-rearing is more demanding than any job I've ever had!

BreandMikewedding

99.9%. Dh will do things if I tell him to. This is how it is for all 3 of our kids so I'm used to it. If one of the kids asks for water and he is closer to the fridge I have to say "can you get them a water?" There have been a few rare occasions that he has done something without me telling him to. I'm always shocked.

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Emerald27

HappyCianci said:

Major special snowflake here. I don't know if it's really possible to parse out the baby care, because everything we do at home supports the family in some way. Yes, I do the vast majority of diaper changes, I do all the breastfeeding (hah!), and I rock the fussy baby 99% of the time. However, my partner does the whole bedtime routine with our big kid every night, cooks breakfast for us in the morning, takes out the trash, washes the dishes, etc. etc... so there's a lot of division of labor.

I still do more than he does around the house and with the kids, but that's because he works out of the home and I do not. It feels fair that I should do more domestic work. It's too bad I don't get a paycheck for it, though... child-rearing is more demanding than any job I've ever had!

This. Word for word!

MrsL2B

Right now I do most of the childcare. My husband feeds and changes the baby once at night since he's still up. But after this week, I will go back to work and he will be the primary caretaker as a work at home dad. I'm a little worried for him.

[Deleted User]

I chose 75% when DH is home. He takes most of the diaper changes and likes to hold DS and play with him. I still do the majority.

victoria+james

starla487 said:

Are we just talking baby care? Or overall?

Because unicorn DH will cook and clean, feed the cats, go grocery shopping, meal plan... I mean, I get the grunt of the baby care during the week because I'm home alone. But on weekends, he'll rock her to sleep, change her diapers, feed her a bottle if I want to disappear for a few hours...

So, while I picked 75%, it really depends on the day and task.

I was just referring to baby care. I hope that the SO's are helping with other things though!

windwithfingers

I chose SS since my parents are the closest I have to an SO these days. I'd say I still do 99% of the baby care though. My mom will hold him and change him, my dad will hold him, and sometimes they'll watch him while I nap but for the most part, he stays with me.

shannonshare

I chose 75%, but that's only after a long "discussion" we had about him helping with the baby and being there...

angeltennis3

I said 50/50. If you break it down by hours, right now of course I am doing more because I am on maternity leave. But as soon as DH gets home he usually takes DD and I will do something else around the house. Even if it is putting away laundry, sometimes it's nice just to be alone.

We FF so on weekends DH takes the MOTN shift. During the week he stays up later (11ish) and spends his evening coaxing DD to sleep in her crib so that I can get a head start on sleep to get in a 5-6 hour stretch, especially since I have a hard time falling back asleep after the MOTN feeding. On weekends its 50/50. We have family time but we also give each other a few hours of alone time while the other cares for DD.

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AmandaJean12

I picked 75% because it's definitely not 50/50 but it's probably somewhere in between those two. When he's home, DH really does do almost half of the Kenzie care but he has picked up more of the work slack, so he's not around as much as I am.

Now, if only he would pick up half the house/general life stuff. He's really helpful but he'd never think to dust or vacuum or pay a bill unless I asked him too. The default is always on me. I'm not totally sure he realizes all that goes into life running smoothly.

TinyTRex321

I said 75% bc I'm a SAHM but when he's home it's 50/50 for child care. I usually have the baby since I'm bfing and he has the toddler.

ishknits

50/50. I feel very lucky. My BF is great with DS and sometimes it's more like 40me/60him so I can clean bc he's not so great with that. He'll be a sahd when I go back to work.

meggiev123

With DC I'm at around 75% right now, but that's largely because I EBF. Now that DD is almost 2 I'd say DH and I are right around 50/50 if not 60/40 with him doing more. 

JessAnnJ

I said 50/50 because he does most for our older daughter and I take care of the baby. When I was EPing with DD1 he took most of the MOTN wakeups, but with BFing this time there isn't as much he can do to help at night.

pushgal84

Went with 75% overall, because I'm SAHM, but DH does about 75% in the evening then I take over any MOTN care. It's a good system for us and DH is really good with DS during his fussy evening hours.

beachbumsc

I chose 75% because DH gets DD in the morning and brings her to me to feed and then he takes her, gets her ready for the day and loads her in the car.  I take her to work with me so I care for her all day and after work.  DH gives her a bath and puts her in jammies and I put her to bed.

ss265

I picked 50/50. DH does a lot of things for DS1 while I primarily take care of DS2. We both work so it's a team effort to get everyone ready for day care drop off in the morning. DH wakes up early to get DS1 ready and help me get out of the door in time with both kids and then he gets ready for work. 

When we get home from work, he handles dinner for DS1 and gets him ready for bed and I put both kids to bed. I EBF so I handle MOTN wakings for DS2 but on the weekends, DH gets up early on both days with the kids so that I can sleep in. 

It's very important to me that we parent equally and share the load. Honestly if I had to do most of the kid related things, we would have stopped at 1 kid. 

lrobi13

I said 50/50.  He helps me in the morning with the baby and he washes and prepares the bottles everyday.  He also does some feedings as well.  I get bath time and poopy diapers exclusively!

We have been taking turns putting lo to bed but I do love to rock the baby so most nights it is my job but only by choice!

It has balanced out a whole bunch since I started back at work.  I alone handle daycare drop offs and pickups but again only because the facility is so close to my office and clear across town from home and DH's work.

BreandMikewedding

I'm jealous. Dh didn't give ds1 a bath until he was 1.5. If I left it up to him we would never have clean bottles...or dishes. He literally works and bathes himself. Anything else around the house or with the kids I have to ask him to do and stay on him to make sure it gets done. You lady's have some helpful h's.

ariel06

I said 99% of baby care. I'm a a SAHM and mostly BFing. I'm probably more like 75% with the big kids.

kirby023

I said 75% only because I'm EBF.  Once I go back to work it'll be 50-50, or he may do more since he'll be home with her.  He really does try to help as much as he can and gives me breaks, which I'm very grateful for.

Klavanga74

HappyCianci said:

Major special snowflake here. I don't know if it's really possible to parse out the baby care, because everything we do at home supports the family in some way. Yes, I do the vast majority of diaper changes, I do all the breastfeeding (hah!), and I rock the fussy baby 99% of the time. However, my partner does the whole bedtime routine with our big kid every night, cooks breakfast for us in the morning, takes out the trash, washes the dishes, etc. etc... so there's a lot of division of labor.

I still do more than he does around the house and with the kids, but that's because he works out of the home and I do not. It feels fair that I should do more domestic work. It's too bad I don't get a paycheck for it, though... child-rearing is more demanding than any job I've ever had!

Great response! I said 75% but I do more like 100% during the day, 75% in the evenings and maybe 40% at night. DH is more than willing to get up with her and I take him up on it more than I should. He's good about taking out trash, washing dishes, etc, too.