AW: Embarassed about IF meltdown (**child mentioned**)

wanderlust508

I've gone to LA for the weekend to attend an old family friend's wedding. Since I don't have to be at work til Monday, I came down early yesterday morning to spend the day with my close childhood friend and her 3 year old girl. Her daughter is so adorable ... friendly, super girly (loves everything purple and playing with her princess Lego set and dolls). From the moment I arrived, she got attached to me. She kept pulling me to play all her games with her and insisted I nap with her when it was her nap time. I just fell in love with her.

This morning, my brother's girlfriend came to pick me up from my childhood friends place. I explained to her 3 yr old daughter that I had to go. She got tearful and told her mom "I don't want auntie to go." I promised I'd come back soon and we'd play Legos. She grabbed me in a big long hug. And I ugly cried. My childhood friend (although I know she loves me dearly) didn't know how to handle my emotional outburst and just said "Its OK, auntie will be back soon."

Even more embarrassed that my brother's girlfriend who I don't yet know very well saw that. I want a little girl ..... IF sucks.

TTCBabyJ

I'm so sorry IF meltdowns are the worse. And it is really hard to be around cute, little friendly children. Just be kind to yourself and try to enjoy your trip.

katers79

(Hugs) IF sucks. Meltdowns happen. I'm sorry you had a hard time. I hope you can enjoy the rest of your weekend! Lots of wine for you at the wedding

Fluffydamn

((Hugs)) I hate IF and all the ugly cries it makes me have. I had a total meltdown when my brother had his little girl. I also had to walk out and ugly cry outside when they had their baby shower. IF sucks

BunnyBerry

I'm so sorry.

But hopefully that wonderful experience helps remind you that you will be great with your own kid(s)!

Sewfie

I'm sorry that happened, and I wish you didn't feel embarrased. I think we (3Ters/IFers) have every reason to have meltdowns like that, and I hope that your friend and brother's gf understand it on at least some level, even if they didn't know how to help in the moment.  <<<hugs>>>

dancerspose

HUGS to you

BandM14

I'm so sorry you had that happen. I'm sure I would have reacted exactly the same way. I hope you are feeling a bit better today, and are being kind to yourself (with lots of wine if necessary!).

wanderlust508

You ladies are so sweet. Thank you so much for the hugs and support.

I'm feeling much better today .... And I definitely will have lots of wine at the wedding today! Yesterday was so hard though because I had to fight back tears through an entire lunch with my brother's girlfriend after we left my friends place. It was tough too because she was showing me pics and videos of her 1 year old niece. And Ilooked at them for a bit but then I felt myself choking up again .... so I changed the subject. Sigh*

Thanks again....you ladies are the best!

TTCBabyJ

@EastBayBride508‌ I'm glad your feeling better. I thought about you this morning while I was at my nephew's Christmas pageant. When the preschoolers did their song I almost lost it. Thankfully I had an overzealous grandmother sitting next to me yelling and trying to get every picture she could...so I was able to transfer my sad feelings into contempt for her. I'm sorry your brother's girlfriend didn't pick up on the earlier meltdown and still was showing you videos of children. But anywho it is supposed to be a really pretty nice day to day in LA....welcome to my neck of the woods. So have fun at the wedding. I love winter weddings.

deelopi9

:::hugs::: i teared up reading your post. IF sucks. Especially right before the holidays, it's even harder. I started to ugly cry yesterday when my god-daughter found out about this month was a failed cycle~ she said to my aunt...what kind of Christmas are they going to have now? My heart just melted. 

wanderlust508

@TTCBabyJ - I forgot that you live in LA! The weather is great this wknd. I'm sorry about the feelings the Christmas pageant brought up. But thank goodness for the annoying grandma for somewhat distracting you haha. I didn't blame my brother's girlfriend really .... when I think back to when I was her age I don't think it would have occurred to me how painful IF is. I only really learned that when I went through it. Before that, for all I know I might have said and done some insensitive things (unknowingly) to women going through IF.

wanderlust508

@deelopi9 - Aww, that would really get me (what your god daughter said). (((Hugs))). I'm happy that we (the women of 3T) have this group and can find support in each other. Without that, the holidays would be much harder

j&j620

Buttmonkey34 said:

Hugs.  It's happened to me before too.  I've decided it's normal

Thank goodness for that because I had one today.  It involved baking Christmas cookies, which didn't come out the way I wanted and I felt like I had no control...much like how I cannot control my damn ovaries.  I felt like a crazy person.

@EastBayBride508 - Hugs to you!

cateyes543

Hugs and all the wine for you! IF sucks and the meltdowns make it feel even worse. I am so sorry you had the pain of an IF meltdown. 

juneroses

What a cute girl - it sounds like you two are going to be great friends. . It is so hard bonding with kids sometimes with that little voice in the back of your head thinking 'you could have been mine'. Hugs, wine, and I hope the wedding was awesome!

meredithcarole

I'm sorry EastBay. I almost cried reading your story. ((Hugs)), I hope the myomectomy has given you some renewed hope.