I'm just so frustrated. Can I ask for some hugs?

PinkCamino

Super long vent coming up. Feel free to skip to the bottom if you want.

So I called my MFM earlier this week to discuss next steps. Back in January 2013 when I saw her she mentioned discussing IVF because in her opinion medications like clomid or femara weren't an option due to my IC and my propensity to get pregnant with twins. At the time she told me she wasn't really crazy about the idea of "treating" me because I'd been able to get pregnant twice on my own blah blah blah.

The months that followed involved another pregnancy, a D&C, scar tissue, the discovery of a septum, an MRI, and a hysteroscopy to fix my broken uterus.

This past summer I had CP and after speaking to her she told me that the clock reset itself and that ultimately I could see an RE if I wanted but that she was highly opposed to using medications like clomid/femara because the risk of multiples was too high with my history.

So, I was on the fence about seeing an RE. She was pretty adamant that we'd done all the testing that needed doing and that they would likely rerun the bloods and tell me to keep trying or call back in 6 months to a year if I wasn't KU again. I wasn't crazy about the idea of seeing an RE right away because I don't think I'm there yet - I just need time to process it all and whatnot.

So a couple of weeks ago I was watching the news and there was a breaking headline about the government tabling legislation to end the free IVF program that exists in my province. I've been following the news and after my fake BFP last week I spoke to my MFM again who repeated to me again that 4 cycles of TTC doesn't qualify me for an RE technically but that if I wanted to see one I could get a referral from her and set up an appointment. She warned me that I may end up disappointed if I go to the appointment assuming they'll do something for me when right no in her opinion I'm still not at that point.

So fast forward to calling the RE. GUESS WHAT? I cannot see an RE in this city until January 2016. Why? Apparently with the threat of the IVF program being ended every woman in town has decided to pursue IVF to take advantage of the freeness of it. They are currently only taking patients with IF diagnosis, they are only seeing patients in order of priority and because I've reported 3 pregnancies in 2 years I don't fucking qualify for treatment.

I was told to call my OBGYN to get appropriate testing. From there the OBGYN would decide what to do. I then told the nurse that I've done the testing and nothing was found so she told me to keep trying and when I hit a year or January 2016 rolls around they should have space to see me.

WTAF? WTAF? WTAF?

megrae12

Oh sweetie. I am so sorry, that has to be so frustrating. So many ((Hugs)). I wish I had some advice to offer, but instead I have chocolate.

buggirl72

Oh Pink ((((((Hugs)))))))).

I'm so sorry.  I thought one of the reasons they wanted you to see an RE and look into IVF was because they could transfer one embryo and try to avoid you being pregnant with twins. Even though you don't have a traditional IF diagnosis you certainly have had enough different things that should move you to the top of that list.  Do you think you could remind your OB of this and see if they will advocate for you getting in?

blackbird818

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!! What total bullshit! ((((((((((Hugs)))))))))) lovie

PinkCamino

buggirl72 said:

Oh Pink ((((((Hugs)))))))).

I'm so sorry.  I thought one of the reasons they wanted you to see an RE and look into IVF was because they could transfer one embryo and try to avoid you being pregnant with twins. Even though you don't have a traditional IF diagnosis you certainly have had enough different things that should move you to the top of that list.  Do you think you could remind your OB of this and see if they will advocate for you getting in?

Yeah I'm going to see what I can do. I think i need to cool off first because at this point I'm so incredibly frustrated with all of this.

Although my history is super shitty, it doesn't give me priority because I'm not labeled with an IF diagnosis. So, the REs have apparently rallied together to do as many transfers as possible before they end the program.

PinkCamino

petitchou1019 said:

Oh no. That is so awful. I don't even know what to say. I think I would keep the RE appointment and try to find a new MFM if it is possible. A second opinion could never hurt and it seems like you have exhausted everything your current one will do/believes is necessary.

Yeah I'm sticking with my MFM.  She's the best MFM in the province. I can't jepordize that.

hey_alex

HUGS! I am so sorry, how insanely frustrating. Thinking about you.

Nikolie93

Oh no, I'm so very sorry. Sounds like a big cluster fuck. So many *hugs* to you.

BookishMomma

((Hugs)) Oh, that is so frustrating. I hate how RPL doesn't fit into a nice box. It's like no one knows what to do with us. 

catvaughn5002

I hate that you find yourself in this frustrating situation.  ((Hugs))

mflowers929

*hugs* that sucks big time =(

bfonz619

I almost don't have words because I can feel how hurt you are from your post, and cannot think of anything that will even come close to helping.  Definitely sending ((hugs)) and positivity your way.  I hope everything works out and you find yourself in the position of not needing to pursue the RE any further. 

LizBlue

I'm sending lots of hugs PC.  I hope this is ok to ask, but what is the advantage of IVF for you?  I've actually heard this a few times as an option to treat recurrent loss, and I guess I'm confused as to how IVF addresses that.  Is it because they would test the embryos before transferring one back?

In my case, it was to help me get pregnant (and even that didn't work), so I admit I might be missing how it is used to address recurrent loss.

I'm sorry that this is one more thing that is frustrating and crappy to deal with.  Deep breaths.  I'm sending all the hugs.  

NOBB14

Holy fuck. I can't believe this... I am so so sorry.

PinkCamino

Yeah being from here makes the doctor situation complicated.

I had to essentially manipulate my way into getting my MFM 2 years ago. My original OB who followed my first pregnancy basically told me there was no need for a high risk OB. She apparently thought she was a high risk OB and didn't see the need. *sigh*

The situation is VERY different in Canada. Everything starts with a referral and once you get that golden piece of paper the wait times are astronomical. The only reason I managed to get my surgery done quickly was because I apparently left a lasting impression on Dr. Hot Pants when I told him very bluntly that "I want this shit taken care of". He apparently remembered that and bumped me when he got a cancellation.

We don't have the option to get 2nd opinions and whatnot. At this point, any doctor I would be able to see would be a downgrade. You can't get an appointment with an OB unless you are pregnant, so there's no potential to even talk to anyone new at this point.

I know it sounds silly but I'm sure my fellow Canadian ladies will understand.

[Deleted User]

OMG!!! PC that sucks so much. (((Hugs))) I'm sorry.

Km380

There aren't the right words for how shitty this is. So so many (((hugs))) Pink.

PinkCamino

LizBlue said:

I'm sending lots of hugs PC.  I hope this is ok to ask, but what is the advantage of IVF for you?  I've actually heard this a few times as an option to treat recurrent loss, and I guess I'm confused as to how IVF addresses that.  Is it because they would test the embryos before transferring one back?

In my case, it was to help me get pregnant (and even that didn't work), so I admit I might be missing how it is used to address recurrent loss.

I'm sorry that this is one more thing that is frustrating and crappy to deal with.  Deep breaths.  I'm sending all the hugs.  

IVF was brought up as a solution to my issue with multiples. Because I have an incompetent cervix a pregnancy with multiples is super risky for me. My MFM would prefer that I carry a singleton and as a result faced with the need to "treat" me she feels that IVF is safer than clomid or femara.

rmpar29

Oh honey, I'm so sorry that you are going through this.  So many (((((HUGS))))) coming your way love!

yellowcat10

Wow what a shitty situation.  ((HUGS)).  

MrsG80inTN

Oh for the love of all crap.  I'm so sorry.  That just plain sucks.  I wish there was something I could do... so I just offer you big squishy hugs.

PinkCamino

CFearsy said:

LizBlue said:

I'm sending lots of hugs PC.  I hope this is ok to ask, but what is the advantage of IVF for you?  I've actually heard this a few times as an option to treat recurrent loss, and I guess I'm confused as to how IVF addresses that.  Is it because they would test the embryos before transferring one back?

In my case, it was to help me get pregnant (and even that didn't work), so I admit I might be missing how it is used to address recurrent loss.

I'm sorry that this is one more thing that is frustrating and crappy to deal with.  Deep breaths.  I'm sending all the hugs.  

@LizBlue, My RE said that it might be a route that we take for RPL if I continue to have losses. He said the purpose behind it is to test the embryos before transfer so they're more likely to be successful. He said it's sort of one of those things that they do if they aren't able to find a cause for your losses and other treatments aren't helping. Is that sort of what your MFM is thinking, Pink? I hate this for you. MOAR ((HUGS))

No, that's not why she brought it up in my case.

mrspipp

Oh,  I'm so so sorry that you have to deal with this nonsense on top of everything else. Big (((hugs)))

renegadewhit

That sucks. I'm sorry you're dealing with so much all at once. ((Hugs))

CC1017

Big giant hugs. Sorry you have to deal with this crap.

welly01

I'm so sorry.  That is just all kinds of shitty.

Littleowl913

That's beyond frustrating. ((Hugs))

meredithcarole

There are no words adequate enough to express how very sorry I am about this. So many (((hugs)))

nange12

Sending so so so many hugs your way.  I'm sorry.

TowerClimbersWife

Boo.

It is so interesting how different governments work. This sounds like bull shit and you shouldn't have to wait that long.

aswedishbee

I'm very sorry you are dealing with this - like all the other PP, it really does suck and I'm sorry I can't do anything but keep you in my thoughts. 

rslh10

I'm so sorry all of this is happening to you! Sending ((hugs))

EIsieMae

I'm so sorry. This is such a shitty situation. ((Hugs))

jordangoodnight

(((Hugs))) !!!

O2girl

Big ((((((hugs)))))))

gscoville

Fuck.  I'm so sorry my friend, please take repeat doses of ((((huge hugs)))) as often as you can!

skategirl128

Huge hugs pink! I'm so incredibly sorry! What an extremely frustrating situation. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this! Sending so many hugs and all my love!

PinkCamino

Thanks for the hugs everyone.

Manada

Hugs for you PC.   I live in the province next to yours that's flirting with the idea of an IVF program upcoming in 2015 and the provincial situation is absolutely ridiculous!   I have a hard time believing the new program is going to pass right now, if there's a delay will that perhaps get you guys time to slip in under the deadlines?

We were hopeful for the ON program to come in 2015, until we found out that what's on the discussion table for that program right now isn't likely to be worth the wait for us.    Provincial funding sucks.  I'm sorry this is so hard..........   Are you at the Mtl center clinic?

PinkCamino

Manada said:

Hugs for you PC.   I live in the province next to yours that's flirting with the idea of an IVF program upcoming in 2015 and the provincial situation is absolutely ridiculous!   I have a hard time believing the new program is going to pass right now, if there's a delay will that perhaps get you guys time to slip in under the deadlines?

We were hopeful for the ON program to come in 2015, until we found out that what's on the discussion table for that program right now isn't likely to be worth the wait for us.    Provincial funding sucks.  I'm sorry this is so hard..........   Are you at the Mtl center clinic?

No I'm not at the clinic. The one you're talking about is likely private and we don't have the insurance coverage to start testing completely OOP at this point. My doctor is affiliated with one of our hospitals so I get all my stuff done through the hospital hence why everything is covered. I think what's happening is anyone who has been labelled with an IF diagnosis is now fast tracking to IVF before they end the program so all the REs affiliated with the hospitals are overbooked for the foreseeable future.

Rachaeleigh

Sorry for all the fucking shitiness (((hugs)))