Stranger no longer

imnotfancy

Hi, y'all! I'm a noob around here... I just discovered TB in July, lurked for a couple months on TTGP then moved to my BMB (July 2015). I jumped right in and started to feel like I found my place until my mc. I feel like I haven't been a part of any particular board for an extended period of time so I'm just drifting around TB, trying to find my place. I'm lost and lonely. Tried lurking again on TTGP but it doesn't feel the same yet since DH and I haven't even been released from pelvic rest. Though it's been a little fun to act like a teenager again and exploring other fun alternatives to vaginal sex! haha! TMI- sorry. My heart started to flutter when I began lurking here a couple days ago... maybe this is my place! I read the blog and pinned posts at the top of the board.

What happened- 1st pregnancy -> 8 week u/s -> empty sac -> HCG 81,594 -> dx: blighted ovum still growing, mm/c -> Me= confused, "Isn't it a life at conception? But there was never a baby..." -> Realization- "there was a baby growing in my mind and my heart, I lost my baby." -> Farewell birthday party for my firefly Dec 4 (including friends, food, cake and candles) -> D&C Dec 5. -> Healing mentally and physically.

My f/u is tomorrow morning and I'm praying everything checks out fine and we will just TTA for 1-2 cycles (what dr. was anticipating before surgery) and then see what happens. 

But really, who am I? Me= 27, DH 28. I work in a NICU as an RN. DH is in the USAF. We adopted a stray dog that I accidentally hit with my car on my way to work one morning. And 56 days later she had 9 puppies. If you don't know anything about doggie gestation- it's about 60 days. I'm pretty sure I hit her while she was doing the walk of shame... haha! We found homes for 7 of the pups through my family and FB friends. We ended up with the 2 left over. Pics in siggy. They are tremendously smart, spoiled rotten, cuddle bugs and I wouldn't trade them for the world. Soapbox: Adopt your furry friends, don't buy them. 

Thank you for your support. I plan to return it ten-fold.

Anything I missed? 

[Deleted User]

So sorry for your loss. My most recent was also a July 15 baby. ((Hugs)) welcome to the board.

Nikolie93

Hey lady!  :-h I was about to tell you to go ahead and introduce yourself  

I am so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself here but I hope you find support and comfort as I have with these wonderful ladies.

Kudos to you for taking the stray dog home! I lol'ed at the walk of shame! 

I have my FX for that your f/u goes well tomorrow *hug*

welly01

Welcome.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  I totally understand what you mean about not having a "home" on TB.  I tried very hard to be an active member of my BMB and after my MC, I just felt lost.  All the other boards just didn't feel comfortable.  I absolutely feel like this is my home and I hope you can feel the same.

Good luck at your appointment tomorrow.

Also, hugs for you.  I can't imagine having to work in a NICU during this process.

mrspipp

Welcome to the board. I'm so sorry for your loss, and that you find yourself here. I hope this board will bring you some comfort as you wait. 

I adopted both of my furbabies from a shelter, so I can definitely relate! Ending up with 9 puppies would have been a bit of a surprise

:o3

MrsG80inTN

I'm sorry for your loss.  Sending you lots of hugs.  Thanks for lurking first and for reading the blog.  I hope that you find friendship and support here.  

peregrinefalconx

Welcome! And sorry you are here. For whatever reason, there seems to be a lot of first preg BOs around here. And yes, it is a complete mind ****. Especially when you find out there is nothing in there, but technically you are still pregnant and even still have morning sickness.

Hopefully it will just be a short stay for you, but feel free to give and get support!

I love the puppies!

NOBB14

Welcome!!! So sorry for your loss.

catvaughn5002

Welcome to the board! I'm very sorry for your loss. I love the idea of having a farewell birthday party.  That is an amazing way of honoring your baby.  Also, your furbabies are adorable.  You have a kind heart to take care of the whole dog family. (Hugs))

CC1017

Welcome to the board. I am so sorry for your loss. I really like your realization and hope you had some comfort in your celebration.

Don't Shop, ADOPT!  

renegadewhit

I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm glad you found us. Based on your intro, I think you'll fit right in to "the best place you never wabt to be". Thank you for taking the time to lurk and find out about board culture (much appreciated!)

Welcome.

MellyMel15

Hi there. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so hard. I hope you find comfort, support, and friendship here. Being on this board has helped me tremendously since my MMC in September. 

On the topic of pups, preach, girl! Sophie (seen in my avatar pic) is a rescue. We adopted her last January and she is such a sweetheart. I don't know what I'd do without her!

Edit- Forgot to add that Sophie had 6 puppies before we adopted her! The vet said that's a lot for her size (she's only 13 lbs.). 

cooldown726

So sorry for your loss and welcome!  Your doggies are adorable, and major props to you for giving and finding homes to all of them!

jordangoodnight

I'm so sorry for your loss. Welcome

nicnackmama

Welcome, I'm sorry for your loss. FX your f/u goes well. ::hugs::

imnotfancy

@nikolie93 Thank you! I was trying to wait to get involved until after my appt... I wanted to know what the plan is first. But why not just kill the wait (since the clock is ticking so slowly this week) with some bumping good fun!

@welly01I went back to the BMB once and it just broke me into a million pieces watching them move forward. The first day back to work was tough, mostly because I was still in some physical pain. But I love my patients so deeply that they were tremendously comforting. I know I'll have my own, one way or another... the thought did cross my mind to foster one that was being removed from CPS.

@katieisoptimistic Furbaby Friday?!? Whaaaat?!? OMG I'm so excited!

And here are the pups for those who are mobile: 

imnotfancy

petitchou1019 that is so sad! The pups birthday is Jan 13, so I fear they would have had the same fate... if they even survived gestation- Mercy was so skinny and flea ridden when she found me. 

CC1017 I LOVE that pic :x

It's so nice to hear your stories of fur baby adoption! So encouraging! My MIL is buying a dog right now (picking it up early next week) and I'm so heartbroken for the potential adoption she could have found instead. I've been trying for a year to get her to adopt. I can't imagine the $$$ she is paying for this cute puppy. But she refuses to listen =((

It's so nice to see familiar people in the TTCAL treads that I've been seeing on TTGP... and even the MC/PL boards. You might not know me yet, but I feel like I know you (not a stalker, promise!).

imnotfancy

catvaughn5002 said:

Welcome to the board! I'm very sorry for your loss. I love the idea of having a farewell birthday party.  That is an amazing way of honoring your baby.  Also, your furbabies are adorable.  You have a kind heart to take care of the whole dog family. (Hugs))

@catvaughn5002‌ here was our cake!

catvaughn5002

imnotfancy said:

Welcome to the board! I'm very sorry for your loss. I love the idea of having a farewell birthday party.  That is an amazing way of honoring your baby.  Also, your furbabies are adorable.  You have a kind heart to take care of the whole dog family. (Hugs))

@catvaughn5002‌ here was our cake!

That is so beautiful! Looks yummy too.

bfonz619

Sorry for your loss.  Welcome to the board. 

Km380

Welcome I'm so sorry for your loss. My first loss was a BO too, complete MF. I don't think I even fully understood what it meant until I came here. (((Hugs)))
Love that you saved your pup! Though I totally laughed at a dog walk of shame. So cute! We adopted our pup too - well she was 6 at the time but we call her our pup anyway.
Gl at your appt tomorrow

LittleMrsW

I'm so sorry for your loss. Welcome.

BookishMomma

I'm so sorry for your loss. You are most welcome here. Especially with puppies that cute. We love fur babies around here!

Crunkal

So sorry for your loss. My most recent loss was also due July 15. Never intro'd on that board though.
Welcome to the board. You've find a great place.
((Hugs))

meredithcarole

I am so sorry for your loss. Welcome.

jones6863

So sorry for your loss. I'm not a poster but I have been lurking the last few weeks. I just want to say we are very similar! DH and I are the same age as yall and have two rescue babies! (4 total including the cats) I'm also in medicine, a PA- too funny!
But we also had a BO with d&c and I feel your pain. Our EDD was end of June. Definitely not what you thoughtd you'd see on the ultrasound when you first saw the sac. My immediate reaction was 'oh I see a sac, awesome news!!' Not expecting it to be terrible news.... Hope you find comfort here, I know even though I don't post lurking has been very good for my soul!

flyoffeve

Welcome. I am so sorry for your loss (again, I remember you from mc board). I am glad you joined this board.

imnotfancy

@cfearsy OMG I'm blushing! I was very excited about Fearsy 2.0 as well. I'm so sorry for your loss. I really didn't think anyone would recognize me... I'm like a ninja on these boards!

@jones6863thank you! There was an u/s in the next week right before ours and we heard a HB and I got so excited (though we would only be seeing it on our u/s). I wasn't sure what I was seeing when dr was searching the empty sac but I had started to get a feeling and all I could think was "come on, little bean". I knew it wasn't right but I didn't know what it meant. I didn't even cry... it was just shock. I'm sorry for your loss, too.

@flyoffeve Thank you! I thought that would be the place I'd hang for a while till we were really TTGP but it moved so slow. I started reading posts from months ago... I think I got the support I needed from lurking mostly and am just ready to move forward.

ETA- so tags work

VaBarnet

Sorry for your loss and welcome!!

rubysi

Welcome. I am sorry for your loss. 

Puglife83

Welcome and sorry for your loss. My husband is in the USAF also and we are like a husband and wife dog rescue team ourselves haha.

rmpar29

I'm so sorry for your loss.  Welcome to the board.  ((((HUGS))))

OctoberStars

Hi @imnotfancy‌! Nice / not nice to see you again. I totally feel you with not feeling like I belong anywhere. I lurk less and less on the July board because it's so hard to see people transitioning to all the excitement that comes in the second trimester. I hope we end up on the same bmb again soon.

imnotfancy

Hi, @OctoberStars‌ !!! I couldn't go back... I tried once and couldn't handle it. It would be so cool to be in the same bmb again!! FX!

imnotfancy

Thank you @PetraStonegirl‌
I'm so sorry that it's been so "ruff" this week! I've witnessed dreary days on TTGP these last few months. But nothing as hateful as what's been going on here, this week. It seems more harsh when there are trolls attacking women with RL losses and not just wishing IF on us/feeling sorry for our husbands.
It's been an emotional day all around.

I'll definitely take this opportunity to say "thank you" for all the work you do on TTCAL and your support of all the people in this community. It doesn't go unnoticed.
((Big hug))

ellebelle2384

So sorry for your loss.  ((hugs))  And that is so sweet about your furbaby, she and her pups hit the jackpot when they found your family.

schuebja

I'm sorry for your loss. Welcome. Your pups are too cute!