Hi everyone hope all are well..
I apologize for my abrupt exit from the group, the miscarriage was a devastating shock to me and I kinda checked out of life for a while. I can't believe its already been 2 complete months since I lost him ( I don't know it was a him for sure but I feel like it was). At first I couldn't even come on this site and had to delete the apps off my phone. I even disconnected my facebook which I have not and probably will not reconnect at least for a while longer. However, I have been lurking here recently and realized that I missed the support I recieved here as well as hearing about everyone's journey through this long and torturing process so here I am back where I feel like I belong.
So a quick update on where we are...
Though I have been cleared to try again, I am having serious anxiety about the what-ifs and still mourning Jonah (i needed to name him, to have something to hold on to). The doctor that did my IUI is saying that surgery on my fallopian tubes is not an option, so I am seeking a second opinion. Everything else in the equation is working except my tubes so I am hoping to be able to do something about that obstacle. We are thinking we will try again in the spring after the snow thaws. We have 2 more vials before we have to reevaluate how this is going to happen for us. Mentally, I am up and down. I have a lot of triggers and its hard to avoid them since I work in a hospital so there are pregnant women and babies eveywhere. Every day is a struggle but I am trying to work through it and I think that being back here will help with that. I am looking forward to getting back into the thick of things here even though I am personally on a break.