Hello again — The Bump
LGBT Parenting

Hello again

Hi everyone hope all are well..

I apologize for my abrupt exit from the group, the miscarriage was a devastating shock to me and I kinda checked out of life for a while. I can't believe its already been 2 complete months since I lost him ( I don't know it was a him for sure but I feel like it was). At first I couldn't even come on this site and had to delete the apps off my phone. I even disconnected my facebook which I have not and probably will not reconnect at least for a while longer. However, I have been lurking here recently and realized that I missed the support I recieved here as well as hearing about everyone's journey through this long and torturing process so here I am back where I feel like I belong.

So a quick update on where we are...

Though I have been cleared to try again, I am having serious anxiety about the what-ifs and still mourning Jonah (i needed to name him, to have something to hold on to). The doctor that did my IUI is saying that surgery on my fallopian tubes is not an option, so I am seeking a second opinion. Everything else in the equation is working except my tubes so I am hoping to be able to do something about that obstacle. We are thinking we will try again in the spring after the snow thaws. We have 2 more vials before we have to reevaluate how this is going to happen for us. Mentally, I am up and down. I have a lot of triggers and its hard to avoid them since I work in a hospital so there are pregnant women and babies eveywhere. Every day is a struggle but I am trying to work through it and I think that being back here will help with that. I am looking forward to getting back into the thick of things here even though I am personally on a break.

Re: Hello again

  • Welcome back, you've been missed. 

    Again, I am so SO sorry for the loss of Jonah, but glad to hear that you have begun a journey that I hope will be healing for you.

    Sending many hugs to you today.

    Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10 
    TTC since 6/11
    Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
    Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
    Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
    Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN 
    Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
    Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13

    On to #2, are we crazy?
    IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP!  Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
    Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat.  Say hello to Sticky Ricki!

     

    image

    ticktock0903
  • Welcome back, it's good to 'see' you again.
    ticktock0903
  • Loading the player...
  • Welcome back! It sounds like you are working through your grief over Jonah's loss and will eventually be emotionally ready to try again.

    A & K, married 7/1/13.

    After 10 months of ttc via medicated IUIs and two early losses, we finally got our boys- Perfect premie twins born 5/27/14.

     

     

    ticktock0903
  • Welcome back as you continue to heal...
    ticktock0903
  • Ug. Loss is so hard and I'm so sorry about Jonah. It is a brave decision to move forward and I commend you on that front. Welcome back and keep us posted.
    Lil'mamaz was born on Aug 21, 2014! She's PERFECT!

    It's been a long road to here...
    Me (43) and J (45) - same sex couple. And we don't feel 40+!
    June'12 - First RE Visit
    Sept. '12 - Tubes removed
    Dec. '12 - Donor Egg/Donor Sperm IVF Cycle - 4 good embies!
    Dec. '12 - Fresh transfer, BFP! EDD 8/29/13
    Mar. '13 - Missed m/c at 16w1d, baby boy stopped growing at 15w4d
    Loss due to umbilical cord clot...baby was perfect. :(
    Jul '13 - FET#1 - c/p
    Sept. '13 - FET#2 - BFN
    Dec.' 2, 2013 - FET#3 with our last chance embie - BFP!!!
    Dec' 26, 2013 - hb!!
    EDD 8/20/14 with a baby girl!
    Little S was born on 8/21/14 - 8lb, 14 oz and 20 inches long.
    We live in Seattle and used SRM for our donor egg IVF cycle


    imageimageimageimage

    ticktock0903
  • Thank you everyone, its been a hard and neverending road, but honestly its been worse not talking about it because I feel like I am leaving him behind and I can't bare the thought of that.
  • Welcome back. We are always here to listen and support you!

    Me: 30  DW (aka C): 29

    Together since 2/15/11 ~ Legally married in NY on 9/29/12

    ***CP mentioned***

    We've been working on baby #1 since July 2013 using Open ID donor sperm.  8 IUI attempts with 5 actual IUIs and one chemical pregnancy.  We have one fresh IVF cycle under our belts as well as a FET.  I have endometriosis and a uterine septum that was corrected via surgery in November 2013. 

    11/14/14 -  Second HSG shows that tubes are still clear and ute is looking good. 

    12/6/14 - Started BCPs in prep for IVF #2

    12/22/14 - Saline u/s and endometrial scratch (All was clear and OUCH!)

    1/2/15 - Began stimming for IVF #2

     ****All Welcome!****

    We are Mommas to four fur babies - 3 dogs and 1 cat.

    image   

    ticktock0903
  • I totally understand your need to back away for a while.  I know Jonah will be in your hearts forever.  Glad you are back here for support.  Big hugs.  
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    ticktock0903
  • Welcome back. Everyone needs a break from things, glad you're back. I'm sorry for the loss and there is nothing wrong with holding on to anything. You will forever be able to hold the Memory of Jonah. I'm glad you're going to try again in the spring. Hang in there, we are all here for you!
    ticktock0903
  • I'm so very sorry. Loss is so long and so deep.  We are almost three months out of our loss and it continues to shock me.  Prayers to you as you love Jonah and as you hope for the future.  You are not alone. 
     Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    ticktock0903
  • Thanks @LolaBelle515. Im sorry for your loss as well. Its as I hit the milestones that the loss is so much worse. The "I would have been x amount of months" both surprise and devastate me.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards