PR: How do you handle nap refusal?

MrsT0514

So, DS is almost 2 and for the most part, has always been a good sleeper. He even transitioned seamlessly into his big boy bed without issue almost a month ago, which surprised the hell out of us. He normally sleeps about 8:30-8ish and naps from around 1-3ish, give or take. Sometimes he'll go down a little earlier...but still will nap for at least 1 1/2-2 hrs.

However lately, he's been intermittently fighting me tooth and fucking nail on naptime. Most of the time, if we're out somewhere, he'll fall asleep in the car and I can transfer him to his bed and he will nap fine. However today, he briefly fell asleep in the car and woke back up, so I got him inside, fed him some lunch and put him down for his nap.

Well, He's been fucking screaming bloody murder, hopping out of bed and pacing around his room, banging on the door (I have the monitor hooked up to keep watch), throwing an all out fit. I've gone in several times, to put him back in bed, tuck him in, reiterate that its naptime, rub his back for a minute and leave the room, only for him to rinse and repeat. He did have his hands shoved in his mouth and he's drooling a ton, so I even gave him some Tylenol and a teething tablet to try to settle him down. No dice. I feel like he knows damn well that he's playing me and succeeding, bc as soon as I walk in his room, he quiets down and within a minute of me sitting by his bedside, he's grabbing at me, babbling away like its time to play.

This last time I went in, I got a few books, read a quick one with him, and told him to lay back down. He got back up so I just said, its quiet time, you need to relax for a bit and I left the room. Of course hes out bed again yelling his ass off. Wtf, kid. I just need a break.

So...tell me, Parenting. How do you handle nap refusal? On days my kid doesnt nap, hes a GD hot mess by dinner time.. so I know he needs it.

bumpuser260585

Tell him to act right.

I have no clue. That is around the time DS1 gave up naps and he's 4 now.

Eta:drinking helps. You not him.

You have all my sorries.

MrsT0514

@SpitsNGiggles‌ ughhhhhh dont tell me that!!!! I'm due to give birth within the next month. I NEED my child to nap!!!

But I most certainly do plan on drinking as soon as this baby is here on the outside.

armandos_girl

I drink heavily?

In all seriousness, I start calling it "quiet time" and telling him he doesn't have to sleep, but he does need to be in his room quietly for X amount of time (for us it was 30-60 minutes).  Granted, he was 3 or so before we hit the fighting nap stage and therefore slightly easier to deal with using reason and logic.    He can read books, play with his hotwheels, whatever, as long as the lights were out and he was on his bed.  I find about 75% of the time, he ends up falling asleep anyway.

bumpuser260585

@MrsT0514‌ At daycare they make the kids lay on their cot to rest every day. If he won't nap, tell him that it is quiet time. He has to stay in his bed until you come get him. Tell him he can look at books or play with a quiet toy, but he has to stay in bed.

I understand though. I have a 7 month old too, I would love for them to both nap on the weekend.

littlestjerry

That's about the age DS gave up naps. I wish I could be more helpful. T&P's.

tbmadeamistake

Exactly what @armondos_girl said. At around two she started refusing, after we moved her upstairs before baby was born. Turned it into quiet time and she'd read or play for a little bit and them put herself down for a nap. She's still napping six months later, most days for two hours. She just needed the freedom to decide for herself when to lie down.

MrsT0514

Well and I think part of the problem is that he's in a queen size bed now (on a bed frame with a bedrail), so he's able to slide backwards to get down and out of bed, but once he's out, he cant get back up unless I or MH puts him back in bed.. I guess I need to get him a step stool or something.

Also...I'm not sure he really understands what I mean by "quiet time". I tried to tell him, "its quiet time, you can sit and read books if you want, but you need to stay in here and relax for a bit", but at his age, I dont think he quite gets that yet. Considering as soon as I left the room again, he flipped the fuck out bc he was in there alone.

I'm really hoping this is just an intermittent fluke, bc he normally naps and sleeps great. But on the days he doesn't...wtmf..I am spent.

MrsT0514

And of course right now, he's in the living room with me, standing in frontof the tv watching, quite content. But honestly, I know now theres no hope of him falling asleep, bc he's the type of kid that will only fall asleep in the car or his bed. Nowhere else.

aglenn

We have a timer that looks like a stop light and it goes from red to green when the time is up.  So I set it at the beginning of nap time/quiet time and tell DS, "if the light is red you stay in bed."  He doesn't always comply....but he clearly understood what I meant around that age.

Other than that, I got nothing.  My kids both hate to nap, and I can't understand it at all.  I would be so freaking happy if someone would put me in a dark quiet room every day after lunch.  WTF?

MrsT0514

@aglenn‌ the OK to wake clock sounds like a goodie to try. I'll look into getting one for his room and see how it goes!

RayRay007

At around that same age, after 3 days of fighting to get her to nap, we gave up and she hasn't napped since before 2. After a while we instituted quiet time where she has to go to her room for 1-2 hours, because *we* need quiet time.

JNerd

Alcohol.

And a movie for him.

aglenn

This is the one we use.  We had one of the OK to wake clocks but it was a PITA to set and then it broke.  This one is super simple but it's not a clock, just a timer.

https://www.amazon.com/Stoplight-Golight-Timer-Yellow-Black/dp/B00CB9G7ZU/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1418852982&sr=8-3&keywords=stop+light+timer

Helenahhandbasket

This was one of the main reasons we kept DD in her crib for as long as we did (she's about to turn 3 and we just transitioned to a toddler bed about a month ago).  She started fighting naps right after age 2- so at nap time I would just plop her in her crib.  Sometimes she would lay awake and play with a few toys/ books, but more often then not she would nap.

If he's really that much of a mess by dinner (which I totally feel you on) do you think he would nap in a play yard / pack n play?(I'm assuming that you either took the crib apart or have it set up for your LO #2.)  That way he's confined and might just give in and nap?

I honestly have no idea if that is terrible advice or not, so take it FWIW

MrsT0514

@Helenahhandbasket‌ yes, we moved DS into the new bedroom with the big bed so we can get his old room with the crib set up for the baby.

I doubt he'd sleep in a PnP anymore..its been months since I've had him in one of those. Plus, since we just transitioned him to the big bed last month (although hes been sleeping fine in it majority of the time, so i cant blame his lack of nap today om the bed transition) I'd prefer to stay consistent with it and only have him sleep in his bed until he's completely used to it.

cyprissa

If DS1 falls asleep in the car and doesn't transfer, he won't nap. He naps most of the time now but it is getting harder. I tell him it is quiet time too.

JNerd

Honestly, I lay down with him. I have the baby on one side and him on the other. The three of us are in his twin bed.
I lock/close the other doors so be can't really go anywhere unsafe, and I don't interact with him. He typically comes and snuggles in for nap.

When he doesn't, I sometimes go for a drive so he gets a bit of sleep. Other times I just enforce quiet time. And then early bedtime.

lifesaverz

Honestly I'd bet it was the cat nap in the car that messed it up. My LO is only 12 1/2 months, but even at this age if she has the tiniest cat nap anytime close to her real nap time then she won't nap. And I can't transfer her from the car to her bed without her waking up either.

MrsT0514

Thanks ladies. I ended up abandoned the idea of a nap/quiet time yesterday. We put him down early for the night (7:45 instead of the usual 8:15ish) and he was out for the night by 8pm. He ended up.sleeping straight thru til 8:30 this morning so he apparently needed it.

@lifesaverz‌ I think you're right about the catnap. Its happened before and I think the common denominator for him when it comes to naps is that if he falls asleep in the car and stays asleep thru the transfer to bed, he'll nap fine. Also, if he's awake and I put him down awake, most of the time he'll fall asleep and nap. But if he falls asleep and catnaps in the car, and then wakes up during transfer, naptime is fucked for the day.