Advice on dealing with screaming

Critter015 · December 2014

My DS is 16 months old and has a bad habit of screaming at the top of his lungs. Not crying, but for fun, he thinks it is hilarious. He mostly does it when he's bored: halfway through dinner - particularly in a restaurant, in the grocery store, in the car, etc. I'm at the end of my rope with it. At first I tried to just ignore it, but my DD who is almost 3 will do it with him and that seems to encourage him to continue. I have tried timeout in his crib when he does it at dinner, but he just keeps screaming/crying in there. I have also tried distracting with something else, shushing him, talking quietly so he has to be quiet to listen, and even swatting him and nothing helps. It is getting to the point where I can't take him anywhere because he screams the whole time, and that isn't an option because I can't go anywhere without him. Help!

Guennie · December 2014

This is a pretty common phase and most of the time you will most successfully deal with it by ignoring it. He will stop when the novelty wears off. Reacting to it is just feeding the cycle. I know it's hard, but try to remember not to place too many expectations on a 16 month old to be "perfectly behaved." They are exploring themselves and the world around them. Your 3 year old is most likely joining in for the attention. Good to remind ourselves of this in those particularly trying moments. The more you react, the louder they will get.

Linnea503 · December 2014

What Guennie said. He's excited about finding his voice. Don't take him to nice restaurants and buy some ear plugs for at home. It will pass.

Also please don't hit, I mean "swat" your baby. In a few months you'll be on here wondering why your kid has started hitting.

vettymama · December 2014

It's just a phase, you'll have to tough it out. And don't spank for normal toddler behavior. I'm not telling you how to discipline your kid, but it won't help anything in this case.

PrimRoseMama · December 2014

It's a phase.

PrimRoseMama · December 2014

Yeah swatting or spanking for this is overkill. Why not try to redirect into song?

Critter015 · December 2014

Thank you ladies for the advice. I knew it was just a phase and have been trying to ignore him for the most part, but DH thinks he needs to be corrected for the behavior, and he is a big believer in spanking. This time of year there are so many family get togethers and dinners that it is impossible to avoid taking DS to restaurants, stores, or other places where people don't enjoy listening to a screaming child. They expect me as his parent to make him stop. Usually these are situations where breaking into song isn't going to work, in the car, sure, but no way am I encouraging singing while we are supposed to be sitting quietly eating our dinner and I'm not singing in the grocery store either. I think he is really only still doing it because he enjoys the attention he gets from DD for doing it, and she definitely is in a phase where she does things for attention, even if it is negative attention. I've been trying hard to mention how she is exhibiting the right behavior when correcting DS for certain things because if I do not she starts doing the same thing as soon as I get him to stop. Thanks Farmrsboywife for mentioning sending him outside to scream. That is something I could probably do, but I'm afraid then he'll start screaming because he knows if he does he gets to go outside. That is why I am hoping to avoid having to take him outside at a restaurant or gathering, because I don't want to reward the behavior.

spank705 · June 2015

Hey I heard some good advice once. Children want to express there very strong emotions. Happy or sad or mad. When he starts to scream do not ignore it but do not get angry or punish. Instead try to turn it into a game and say you can clap or jump up and down when you are happy! But you are not allowed to scream.