I AM FUMING....RANT ALERT

Jennym2b

Has anyone noticed OP hasn't been back to even check the multitude of responses she received?

Dcwtada

I truly hope this is MUD but if not, OP you need to sit down, count your blessings and then call your mom and tell her you have had a complete change of heart, saw how selfish you have been and are so happy for your sister.

This post hurts because my SIL lost her mom, grandma and brother when she was young (all her close family besides her father). I remember it being so hard when she had her child and just wanting her family to be there. We are actually going to try to have a baby around the same time for my next/last one and I couldn't be more excited and thankful.

gem717

You should be excited for her and both of your little bundles of joy. When I was pregnant both my sisters announced they were also pregnant (one even announced it at my baby shower) and I never once thought they were stealing my thunder. I was excited for 2 reasons. First, my child would have 2 cousins pretty much the same age, we all 3 ended up having boys so that was really cool. Second, I thought yes! Now I have both my sisters to share this experience with and they'll totally get it. Trust me you are lucky to be pregnant with your sister, just try to se the positive aspect of it, you'll get over it.

KellyinHB

cookiesandwine said:

@KellyinHB I found out my cousin's wife was expecting at my baby shower. I didn't even think for a moment that it was stealing my thunder. 

You're mature and normal!

sams1girl

sschwege said:

I just wanted to add, that the only sort of 'negative' feeling I had to my SIL and I being pregnant at the same time was, I did worry a lot about one of us having a loss.  I did used to think, "What if God forbid one of us lost the baby and I/she had to keep looking at the other one knowing that's where I/she would be." So that feeling I do understand, though I don't think that's what you are reacting to.

This actually happened to me...at my wedding reception(I was pregnant) my husbands nephews girlfriend announced that she was pregnant also and she was about two weeks ahead of me.. The family was thrilled because she was having the first Great grand child and my husband and I were expecting his first child.

..loss mentioned...

A few weeks later we went for our first ultrasound and found no heartbeat.

I saw her for the first time since our loss over thanksgiving and it was hard seeing her and knowing that I was supposed to be where she was. We had just found out the week before we were pregnant again and had not told anyone... Actually we still haven't.

So, yes, things like this do happen. Please put aside how you feel about her "stealing your thunder" and be grateful that you are both healthy...

sschwege

sams1girl said:

I just wanted to add, that the only sort of 'negative' feeling I had to my SIL and I being pregnant at the same time was, I did worry a lot about one of us having a loss.  I did used to think, "What if God forbid one of us lost the baby and I/she had to keep looking at the other one knowing that's where I/she would be." So that feeling I do understand, though I don't think that's what you are reacting to.

This actually happened to me...at my wedding reception(I was pregnant) my husbands nephews girlfriend announced that she was pregnant also and she was about two weeks ahead of me.. The family was thrilled because she was having the first Great grand child and my husband and I were expecting his first child. ..loss mentioned... A few weeks later we went for our first ultrasound and found no heartbeat. I saw her for the first time since our loss over thanksgiving and it was hard seeing her and knowing that I was supposed to be where she was. We had just found out the week before we were pregnant again and had not told anyone... Actually we still haven't. So, yes, things like this do happen. Please put aside how you feel about her "stealing your thunder" and be grateful that you are both healthy...

I'm so sorry for your loss, that really must have been terrible.

emiwalk

Yeah, that's a little ridiculous. I recently found out my sister in law has an EDD the day after ours and I cannot be more excited! A life created should be rejoiced over.

sams1girl

sschwege said:

sams1girl said:

sschwege said:

I just wanted to add, that the only sort of 'negative' feeling I had to my SIL and I being pregnant at the same time was, I did worry a lot about one of us having a loss.  I did used to think, "What if God forbid one of us lost the baby and I/she had to keep looking at the other one knowing that's where I/she would be." So that feeling I do understand, though I don't think that's what you are reacting to.

This actually happened to me...at my wedding reception(I was pregnant) my husbands nephews girlfriend announced that she was pregnant also and she was about two weeks ahead of me.. The family was thrilled because she was having the first Great grand child and my husband and I were expecting his first child.

..loss mentioned...

A few weeks later we went for our first ultrasound and found no heartbeat.

I saw her for the first time since our loss over thanksgiving and it was hard seeing her and knowing that I was supposed to be where she was. We had just found out the week before we were pregnant again and had not told anyone... Actually we still haven't.

So, yes, things like this do happen. Please put aside how you feel about her "stealing your thunder" and be grateful that you are both healthy...

I'm so sorry for your loss, that really must have been terrible.



Thank you..and yes ma'am... It was a pretty tough time...still is. Some days are better than others.

rayann687

sschwege said:

I just wanted to add, that the only sort of 'negative' feeling I had to my SIL and I being pregnant at the same time was, I did worry a lot about one of us having a loss.  I did used to think, "What if God forbid one of us lost the baby and I/she had to keep looking at the other one knowing that's where I/she would be." So that feeling I do understand, though I don't think that's what you are reacting to.

This happened to me. My SIL and I were pregnant at the same time. I was due in April and she is due in March. We were both happy about it. I had a miscarriage Labor Day weekend. It was hard for me to see her and to think this is where I would have been. I was happy that her pregnancy was going well and the baby was doing good. I am now pregnant again and due in August, and I am happy they will be close in age.

sschwege

@rayann687 I'm so sorry for your loss.  I can't even imagine.

sosueme

wineandcake said:

I wish my sister would have a baby, I want my kids to have cousins close in age. I grew up with cousins much older or much younger, it would have been great to be the same age. One of my besties is due 3wks before me. We had been trying a few month longer than them but I always told her I had a feeling they would be first. I was at her house when she POAS and the first thing she said was how she couldn't wait for me to be KU so our babies could be close and have a friend (their siblings aren't planning on babies for a long time still). It's seriously the best being pregnant when a friend is, none of my friends were pregnant or had kids yet when I was pregnant with DS, it was lonely. Realize how lucky your kids are and how much fun it will be. You can go shopping together for mat clothes, buy baby stuff, and she won't get sick I baby talk like non pregnant friends/family.

This for me too, except my bff is 6 weeks ahead of me. I can't wait to do joint family trips to Disney World! I was thrilled for her to just recently make it past the first trimester milestone and she is cheering me along too -- having that person who "just gets it" and you can tell all your dirty details to is awesome.

rayann687

sschwege said:

@rayann687 I'm so sorry for your loss.  I can't even imagine.

Thanks! It was hard, and it's still hard now. I still can't help but think of how far along I would have been with my first baby.

Dpatto93

I've been on the other side of this. My BFF was pregnant and I found out I was. When I decided to announce ours she said I had stole her attention, she asked why couldn't I of waited until hers was born. I really couldn't understand why she wasn't happy. I was over the moon our kids would grow up together. She got pregnant from a one night stand and I had been trying for a year. I was over joyed to see the line turn pink after a huge wait! I hope you didn't let your feelings known towards your sister because it hurt me.

kate5all

Oh there's no way this original post was legit!

Xandrakeller

Sweet Jesus, if I had been graced with a sister and we were pregnant together, I would consider myself extremely lucky. Some women on this board, myself included, don't have a Mom or a sister to share this with. You sound like a bratty little shit.

mamacas15

My sister is 18+wks and I am 9+ When I told her, she was so happy for me and was so excited that her baby would have a cousin so close in age to play with. Not once did it cross her mind of being overshadowed not had she ever expressed jealousy.

Be happy! You're bringing beautiful life into the world and you have someone you can share those experiences with!

bim38106

Wooooooooow. I really hope that seeing all of these responses is giving you a new perspective. If this isn't mud, it's pretty damn awful. I could understand a brief twinge of being a tiny bit upset before realizing how amazing and awesome it is... But fuming mad?? Wow.

shellplus1

Ok....so I want to see a few things straight...I don't have an issue with pregnant women perse...I want to apologise to the women that have and are experiencing loss for what may seem a very insensitive post.
But please let me just say a few things to kind of explain the way I am feeling.

My whole life my younger sister has always been the pretty funny successful one who things have always gone right for...so yes I am kind of jealous of her...although happy that she is doing well for herself...BUT everything in life with her is a competition and she doesn't take too kindly to life not revolving around her..so when things rent going her way she tends to make a show to bring the attention to back to her....myself and my oh have had a pretty tough time recently and it's been great for us to share some good news with our families. This is another classic example of my sister not having attention on her unfortunately and as lovely as it will be for our babies....at the moment I can't help but feel a little upset.

So I'm sorry ladies...call me what you will but I've had to deal with her tantrums and attention seeking a long time and this has just pushed me over the edge!!

Dpatto93

Don't look for the attention from family members then. Just be grateful you have a little life and look forward to meeting, rather than feeling bitter because you have to share the attention.

bim38106

At some point, you need to realize that people don't change and that you need to stop letting her affect you in such a negative way. This is a baby. This is your niece/nephew. You need to let things go and not get so worked up about her behavior.. For your own sake.

lifeisgood27

My sis-in-law and I had babies within afew months of each other. Our kids are super close. They're good friends.

amandachristine518

I found out 4 days after my bfp that my sister in law was pregnant. She's due July 2 and I'm due July 4. I think it's amazing that I'm gonna be a first time mom and a first time aunt possibly in the same week. Be happy you have someone close to you to go through this with!

oops34

ifwisheswerefishes said:

If you were my sister, I would be so upset that you weren't able to share in my joy just because you got pregnant first. Like it's some badge of honor. 

Oh my goodness, with all the loss posts we've had on this board lately, this just makes me ACHE. 

Absolutely this.

ifwisheswerefishes

shellplus1 said:

Ok....so I want to see a few things straight...I don't have an issue with pregnant women perse...I want to apologise to the women that have and are experiencing loss for what may seem a very insensitive post. But please let me just say a few things to kind of explain the way I am feeling. My whole life my younger sister has always been the pretty funny successful one who things have always gone right for...so yes I am kind of jealous of her...although happy that she is doing well for herself...BUT everything in life with her is a competition and she doesn't take too kindly to life not revolving around her..so when things rent going her way she tends to make a show to bring the attention to back to her....myself and my oh have had a pretty tough time recently and it's been great for us to share some good news with our families. This is another classic example of my sister not having attention on her unfortunately and as lovely as it will be for our babies....at the moment I can't help but feel a little upset. So I'm sorry ladies...call me what you will but I've had to deal with her tantrums and attention seeking a long time and this has just pushed me over the edge!!

How in fuck do you this this makes you sound any better? You make it sound like this whole pregnancy was just another way your sister likes to mess with you, like she got pregnant because she wanted the attention that you were getting. Are you serious? 

This literally made it worse. 

oops34

My SIL and I had our babies on the same exact day. It was so awesome. It makes me sad that your attitude is preventing you from enjoying this awesome experience with your sister.

laurawaller7

Wow I'm so emotional part of this thread made me cry. I thought about a couple of months back how I lost my first baby, and how much I cherished that life. And yet you're angry that you're sister is pregnant at the same time as you, she's going to bring a little life into this world you should be So happy...

intensivepurposes

Look, dude - as somebody with a super competitive unhealthy relationship with a sibling, I can empathize.  My brother married my SIL two weeks before my scheduled wedding - they eloped to Iceland, and all anybody talked about all year was how special their wedding was, and did you see all that snow in their pictures?? I'm happy for them, but the green-eyed monster definitely rears his ugly head every now and then.

On the other hand, you are acting like a complete brat.  Let it go.  You don't get sympathy from people by complaining in a very AW-ish fashion that your AW sister went off and got pregnant without consulting you.  It's like complaining that your sister lost more weight than you just to make you look bad, or that she had appendicitis the same week as you and people are also visiting her in the hospital.  Come on.

emwithpeanuts

shellplus1 said:

Ok....so I want to see a few things straight...I don't have an issue with pregnant women perse...I want to apologise to the women that have and are experiencing loss for what may seem a very insensitive post.
But please let me just say a few things to kind of explain the way I am feeling.

My whole life my younger sister has always been the pretty funny successful one who things have always gone right for...so yes I am kind of jealous of her...although happy that she is doing well for herself...BUT everything in life with her is a competition and she doesn't take too kindly to life not revolving around her..so when things rent going her way she tends to make a show to bring the attention to back to her....myself and my oh have had a pretty tough time recently and it's been great for us to share some good news with our families. This is another classic example of my sister not having attention on her unfortunately and as lovely as it will be for our babies....at the moment I can't help but feel a little upset.

So I'm sorry ladies...call me what you will but I've had to deal with her tantrums and attention seeking a long time and this has just pushed me over the edge!!

I am still going to stand by that you need to grow up. If your sister could will herself pregnant to spite you, she should be on the news. Do you even know if she had been trying for a while? What if she had been trying for a long time to get pregnant and she finally did. Her own sister can't be happy for her? If she really is competitive like you say, then let her be the child, and you should be the bigger person. No one in your family is sitting there going, oh yay her sisters pregnant! Forget her now! If they were, then I would strongly advice not caring anyway, because they would be a bunch of a-holes. You are just going to make yourself miserable if you sit here and wallow in self pity like this. Make a choice to be happy and get over it.

Mgar1130

My brother is pissed that I am pregnant again. He called me an attention who're but our cousin is also pregnant and he flapped his mouth before she could tell me. Excuse me but this is a free world and people have sex!

ClovesA

shellplus1 said:

Ok....so I want to see a few things straight...I don't have an issue with pregnant women perse...I want to apologise to the women that have and are experiencing loss for what may seem a very insensitive post.
But please let me just say a few things to kind of explain the way I am feeling.

My whole life my younger sister has always been the pretty funny successful one who things have always gone right for...so yes I am kind of jealous of her...although happy that she is doing well for herself...BUT everything in life with her is a competition and she doesn't take too kindly to life not revolving around her..so when things rent going her way she tends to make a show to bring the attention to back to her....myself and my oh have had a pretty tough time recently and it's been great for us to share some good news with our families. This is another classic example of my sister not having attention on her unfortunately and as lovely as it will be for our babies....at the moment I can't help but feel a little upset.

So I'm sorry ladies...call me what you will but I've had to deal with her tantrums and attention seeking a long time and this has just pushed me over the edge!!

So your sister is prone to temper tantrums, huh? Weird. Is this your way of trying to "steal her thunder" in the temper tantrum department?

mkrupar

I really hope my sister doesn't think I'm stealing her baby thunder for daring to get pregnant a month after my nephew was born and react like you.

They'll be 11 months apart and I'm excited they'll be close in age. I grew up with a gaggle of cousins all around the same age and it was the best.

I understand sisterly competition very well as my sister and I have had our fair share over the years. That being said, we're there for each other, care for each other, and are thrilled for each other when it truly counts. And this, this is a time that truly counts.

dllnlrn

OP ... You sound crazy.

mountaingirl5280

My sister is 22 weeks pregnant. I'm 10 weeks 2 days. It's a really amazing thing to be able to share together, and the cousins will be just a few months apart which I think is really special. Just think of how you can compare symptoms together and support each other through the rough times.

I have to admit that I felt jealousy when my sister told me she was pregnant. My husband and I had been trying for a few months and I had no clue she and her boyfriend were trying. For several months I didn't tell her and it ate me up inside to listen to her talk about the baby.

You'll get over the jealousy. She likely felt some jealousy towards you! Embrace this experience that most sisters don't get go through together... and think of all the adorable sibling bump photos to come!

butterfly061583

:-( even if she did do it intentionally, doesn't matter. Maybe she wants to be pregnant with you so that your children will be close. I have a cousin who is 10 months younger than me and we are close like sisters. It's actually a blessing.

mehlaknee

Go talk to someone. I don't say this in an asshole way. But obviously you have some issues with your sister that you have had for years. Try to work them out. This is a blessing and if you guys can get passed your own shit, life with your little ones will be amazing together.

MissJennC15

Although I wouldn't feel mad myself, I can understand where you're coming from. Being pregnant is a big moment & can be exciting to have the attention on yourself.

I think staying angry is going to cause a problem for you. I think you need to take it as it is & celebrate the chance you both have to be mothers. You can celebrate all the milestones you hit & help her along as you're further ahead.

I say have a good cry about it & then pick yourself up & carry on. This should only be an exciting time

jr0310

I can understand the jealousy. When (fi at the time) dh and I first decided to TTC, that month my sil announced she was pregnant. That pregnancy also got announced over the microphone at my wedding. I've been there with the jealousy issues. My sil is also competitive. We go on vacation, they go on a better one. I buy a car, they buy the same car but newer. I'm sure a lot of it is coincidental, and her and I are very close. But we do have our issues. If she were to announce a pregnancy right after me after my two years of trying, I'd probably be a little mad. But the anger would actually be jealousy.

It sounds like that's what you're experiencing. You finally have your own moment and you feel like you have to share the spotlight now. I get it. But take the advice of pp and try to get past that because you truly have a wonderful gift. My brother and I grew up with 4 total cousins all within 3 years of us, and they were our best friends growing up. Being pregnant together might bring you two closer as well.

Deep breaths. Be happy for her because I am sure she was happy for you.

shellplus1

Just want to to say that the only place I've opened up about how I feel is on here...so this has in no way impacted my sister...I am not that much of a bitch.
And I literally found out an hour before I posted this. I know it's a blessing and I'm sure once I get my he'd round it ill be more excited about it...but I can't help the way I feel guys regardless of how many names you guys call me!
I won't apologise for the way I feel, but I will try get over it!!

yelah250

My best friend is pregnant and when she was 18 weeks her SIL announced her own pregnancy. BFF and husband were sooo mad. I just don't get it, but it seems that some sibling rivalry and jealousy and hurt runs so deep and is difficult to get over. I suggest seeking some individual therapy so you don't transfer your own feelings of competition and inadequacy onto the children. You want them to have a close relationship as they will be SO close in age.

KellyinHB

mischiefmama said:

-----------------------------Quote box fail ---------------------
shellplus1 said: Just want to to say that the only place I've opened up about how I feel is on here...so this has in no way impacted my sister...I am not that much of a bitch. And I literally found out an hour before I posted this. I know it's a blessing and I'm sure once I get my he'd round it ill be more excited about it...but I can't help the way I feel guys regardless of how many names you guys call me! I won't apologise for the way I feel, but I will try get over it!!
--------------------------------------quote box fail-----------------------------------------
mischiefmama said:

I would like to say bravo for taking our flaming like an adult.
In my opinion, sometimes being an adult means realizing that your feelings are inappropriate.  Kind of like when you get really upset at someone for something mundane because other things in your life are stressing you out.  It's important to figure out why you are reacting that way in order to be a happier you.  At least that's my take on it.  

------damn quote box really failed!------------------

I agree.  Many others would have already called us a bunch of assholes by now. )  At least OP is only calling herself a bitch and took the tough love in stride.   ...and knows she needs to get over it.   

shellplus1, I think you'll be fine.  I hope you can soon get in a place to not let the competition thing overwhelm the happiness.  Hoping for healthy pregnancies for you both!