Mind if I stick around for a while longer? (Sort of TTCR and a bit long)

mflowers929

I haven't been posting so much recently, and gone back to a lot of lurking. Some of it has to do with I'm super busy, some of it has to do with my EDD coming up, and some of it has to do with the fact that MH and I have been talking over a huge decision.

We've been feeling a little stuck in our current circumstances. We're just not where we want to be in our lives, and doing what we want to be able to do. It's got everything to do with where we are physically. I love our province, but there's just not a lot of opportunities. MH won't ever "strike it rich" here, and the government is refusing to kick in any money for what I do, so while people in other provinces doing what I do are literally rolling in it, I'm struggling along at just above minimum wage.

Something that a lot of people here do is go out west to work. It's quick and easy money if you're careful with how you save. Some of MH's coworkers have been talking about going to BC to work, and he's started talking about it to. The only thing is, I would be alone 3/4 of the time, and I'm really bad at being alone - like, forget to feed myself and need nerve pills so I don't jump out of my skin bad. So we've been talking about me going to Toronto. All of my family save my parents are there, and I've already been talking with my brother about getting an apartment with me. My aunt has even told me she could help me find employment.

We have a basic plan, but there's still a lot of question marks and "what if's". The first part of the plan won't even happen until late summer when MH goes out to visit his friends and sees about securing employment. So until we decide what exactly we're doing, we've decided that TTC should take a back burner.

It's sort of breaking my heart a little bit. Everyone has this dream about what their life is going to be like, and I just didn't ever really count on having to stop trying to get pregnant once we started, and I especially didn't count on being away from my husband for a year. I know that this would be a step in the right direction, towards the life that we want to have, and I know that we're going to try again, but in the meanwhile, I'm torn. I'm excited and upset, and I just don't know which way to lean more.

I hope it's alright with you ladies if I stick around here and lean on you a bit while we're in the midst of this life-changing decision.

MrsOscarFelix

((hugs)) lady! I hope you will be sticking around!!

ctk181

((Hugs)) of course you can stick around. Sounds like you have a lot of tough decisions coming up. Hang in there!

welly01

I'm so glad you and DH have come up with a plan to make some changes but I'm sorry that it means taking a break from TTC.  I hope the future holds great things for you!

Km380

(((Hugs))) you should def stick around with us. I'm sorry you're dealing with so much

rubysi

We are here for as much as you need us. You have alot of serious decisions to make good luck with that. ((Hugs))

alm288

Certainly! I hope things fall into place for you and YH! Sounds like you have some big decisions to make. All the best!

rmpar29

Of course you can stick around.  I was wondering the same thing...couldn't you go with your DH?  I hope you and DH can come up with a plan that works well for both of you.  Good luck hon!

buggirl72

Big (((hugs)))) and of course you can stick around! We have plenty of ladies who are TTA for a variety of reasons and they are one of the backbones of this board.

It sounds like you and your H are taking steps to do what is right for the both of you and that it will bring a lot of positive changes to your lives. Remember that a year might seem like a long time right now but it will pass in a blink of an eye.

cooldown726

Good Luck figuring everything out! Making big decisions can be so stressful!  Hope you come up with an option that works on all fronts!

mflowers929

We've been talking about me going with him, and it's definitely on the table, but overall it would probably be better if I was in Toronto. I've very much missed my family, and being out west would be even further from them. And there's a good chance that we'll settle back in Toronto, at least for a while, when he's done out west.

BookishMomma

I'm sorry you're dealing with so many big decisions, but it sounds like they will result in some positive changes, so I'm glad you're facing them instead of sticking your head in the sand, as it is so easy to do! And of course you can hang around here!

catvaughn5002

Please do stay! We would miss you if you were gone.  Good luck to you and you DH figuring out the plan that works best for both of you.  ((Hugs))

MellyMel15

I'm sorry you and your husband are having such a difficult time and are dealing with so many big decisions. Hopefully everything will eventually work out for the best. Wishing you the very best of luck. Hang in there, lady!

mflowers929

Kellybenelly83 said:

Can I ask what province you are in now? my dh has been talking more and more about leaving ours and going anywhere else.

Stick around of course! I hope you guys work out the best situation for the both of you. /hugs

@Kellybenelly83 - we're in New Brunswick

megrae12

Of course you should stick around!! I am sorry you and YH are faced with some tough decisions. You know we are here for whenever you need us!!

nicnackmama

Please do stick around! ::hugs:: 

Nikolie93

You would be missed if you didn't stick around! Such a hard situation you are going through. I think it was Bug that said a year would go by in a blink and you'd be amazed that it's probably true. You know yourself better than anyone else so if going back to family is what is best for you, then that may be best. 

I wish you all the luck and I really hope you stick around here *hug*

mrspipp

Definitely stick around! So many (((hugs))) as you are facing all of these life-changing decisions. Hopefully it will be a great move for both you and YH

Cheetara2

Sorry that you're going through this ((hugs))

flyoffeve

(Hugs) Change is very difficult and you and yh are talking about a big one to move. I hope you both can continue to talk about it and find what works best for both of you together.

Elliecat17

((hugs)) good luck on the decisions! I certainly don't mind if you stick here. Part of TTC is also knowing when you have to wait. 

rslh10

So many ((hugs)) to you lady!! 

SeaParrot

You're in the Maritimes too?

My husband worked out west for two years and it suuuuuucked. But we got through it and when he came home for good it was one of the best days of my life. The costs of him working out there (airfare in particular, but also food) added up quite quickly and really ate into what he was able to earn. Because we were essentially supporting two households, we didn't get much ahead. So be careful with it to ensure it is worth it.

We considered moving to Ontario ourselves, but we wanted to stay here as long as we can. I really understand how it feels to be looking at that separation. It's survivable, though! Lots of ladies here are on TTC breaks, so I'm sure it's fine for you to stay here as long as you want.

skategirl128

So many big hugs! Of course you can stay here! There are several of that are TTA. I run the TTA check in and you're welcome there too!

I'm also of the mindset that anything is survivable short term. Good luck as you guys make your decision. More big hugs!!

mflowers929

@SeaParrot‌ yeah, I am. I've heard some things like that about Alberta, but not so much about BC. We live pretty simply, and I would be working and sharing expenses with my brother, which hopefully would offset some of those costs.

ellebelle2384

Of course you can stick around!  That's a lot to talk about and think about.  It sounds like you will love being with your family but I know how hard it is to be away from your SO (DH and I were long distance for 2 years when we were engaged). (hugs) for some tough decisions.

EIsieMae

Huge ((hugs)). Those are tough decisions to make. I hope you do continue to stick around

stephy1221

Hugs. FX that the decision you make brings the best possible things to you and your H. 

TashaCN

Sounds like there is a lot on your plate! Sorry everything is so up-in-the-air. FX things fall into place for you - Hang in there. 

eliida

I'm sorry that you're going through this and that you're facing such a big decision. ((Hugs))

mflowers929

Thank you so much everyone ♥
A little bit selfishly - it's made me feel good seeing how many of you guys would miss me. I always feel like I'm on the outside, even when that's quite obviously not the case.

Nikolie93

mflowers929 said:

Thank you so much everyone ♥ A little bit selfishly - it's made me feel good seeing how many of you guys would miss me. I always feel like I'm on the outside, even when that's quite obviously not the case.

Definitely not the case  

mflowers929

Nikolie93 said:

mflowers929 said:

Thank you so much everyone ♥
A little bit selfishly - it's made me feel good seeing how many of you guys would miss me. I always feel like I'm on the outside, even when that's quite obviously not the case.

Definitely not the case  

@Nikolie93‌ I blame moving. We moved when I was in 5th grade, from a small town where i had grown up with everyone else and even if you didn't really get along you were still invited to everyone's birthday party. That sort of place. And then we moved to Pinellas county. The first week there, there was a group of girls in my class and they all stuck together. I decided to ask them if I could eat lunch with them. They flat out refused me and insulted me at the same time (called me fat when I was literally a bean pole). I never really recovered from that :-/

Nikolie93

Ugh, isn't it crazy that those incidents in our younger years can stay with us forever? I am sorry *hug*