Advice I can give to my husband?

AshleyG1022

So, I have been ready to try for a while, but there was always a reason why we couldn’t – debt, career, couldn’t afford it..etc. Now, we are FINALLY at the point where we can afford it and are excited about it. (!!) My husband is a great man. He is considerate and loving, he helps with all the chores, and he is a funny guy. He is terrified that he is going to disappoint me when he have a child, and says he loves our relationship and is afraid a child is going to come between us. Any advice on how I soothe his fears…until a baby comes and he can see that we are going to be a great team as we are parenting just as we are now. We have been together for 9 years and married for 4 yrs.

polooo27

I'll bite. If your husband is everything you say he is I don't see why a child would cause issues. Most issues, in my opinion, happen when one person isn't putting in any effort. This doesn't sound like your husband. As long as there's effort there shouldn't be disappointment.

As far as his thinking of a child coming between you two I would suggest flipping it. Think of all the ways a child will bring you closer together. The first 6 months are just keeping the baby fed and clean. That's something to do together. The next 6 months are all about milestones. Rolling over, crawling, learning to walk, and starting to talk. that's also something to experience together. After that it's all fun. Going to the kid events and watching the joy, buying cool toys that you always wanted as a kid or maybe just reliving your favorite toy. I could go on, but I hope you get my point.

That was sort of my experience, but my wife and I were only together for 15months before our wedding date and then we had a honeymoon baby. A far cry from 9 years, but maybe some of this will still apply. Good luck.

Emren

Oh it sounds like your hubby is a really nice guy. I know that before my hubby and I started TTC we shared some of those same fears. I do think its important to evaluate how children will change your lives because they definitely will. However, I would encourage you to remind your hubby that children are a blessing and there are lots of ways that kiddos can bring a family closer together. I would also ask him what specifically he is fearful of and go from there. A helpful book for him maybe The First Time Dad By John Fuller Hope this helps and blowing baby dust your way! 

((Hugs and Love))

Emren0316