Tips for leaving places without tantrums...?

brachysira

We can't leave anywhere we go for M these days without a huge, huge tantrum.  If it's just us and we have all day, I can kind of prepare her for it, but sometimes we can't just play for an extra hour while I tell her her time is almost up.  Any other ideas for making a graceful exit?  She is so squirmy that I can barely get a grasp on her, and I finally end up carrying her, kicking and screaming, under one arm. I then I have to shove her into her carseat and hold her down while buckling her in.  If we are traveling by stroller, it is nearly impossible to get her in.  This all has usually upset her brother so I have to leave him in the carseat at whatever venue we're leaving, screaming his head off, until I can come back for him.  Once the car gets going, he goes to sleep and M is usually completely normal, or might scream for a while longer.  

nlp1990

We are in the same boat, but I'm not sure I have a great answer. I'm curious to what others say. I keep a pile of stickers from the bank in my car and can sometimes distract him with one of those. He is in the stage though, where if I say "I'm leaving. Are you coming with me?" And he says "I come with you, momma". So that sometimes helps.

ericalee27

No answer!  Desperately seeking an answer!  DS1 still doesn't transition well.  It makes me nuts

ericalee27

nlp1990 said:

 He is in the stage though, where if I say "I'm leaving. Are you coming with me?" And he says "I come with you, momma". So that sometimes helps.

Also, if I do this with DS2, he just says "Bye," all nonchalant.  It makes me laugh and makes me crazy at the same time.

ally2011

I was going to suggest starting to telling her well in advance what was going to happen so she knows what to expect, but it sounds like you are already doing that.

brachysira

Yeah, I'm afraid it's almost become a habit at music class...there is a little play area separate from the classroom, and she runs to it immediately when class is out and won't leave...we both know what's going to happen...

Saying "bye" and leaving does not work at all with her.  She might notice in about 3 hours that I'm not there and worry about it, but she's very independent and also probably pretty confident that this is a bluff.

draeray

ericalee27 said:

nlp1990 said:

 He is in the stage though, where if I say "I'm leaving. Are you coming with me?" And he says "I come with you, momma". So that sometimes helps.

Also, if I do this with DS2, he just says "Bye," all nonchalant.  It makes me laugh and makes me crazy at the same time.

This. I say Bye to my son all the time and he says it back like "see ya later I don't care if you are leaving." The worse is in the morning when I leave for work. 

mcmullena

I use the timer on my phone. Tell him we have 1 minute (or however long) then we are going to ----. And let him know that I am setting the timer. It has worked wonders for us

brachysira

Heh..maybe a separate device.  If the phone is in sight, then all I hear is "phone phone phone" and then a tantrum if she doesn't get it...  Since I do not want her on the phone all day, I don't use the phone all day...  

tamarar5

At this age, not much.  But it was at this age with DD1 I started doing the "Five Minute Countdown" before we left anywhere.  It didn't really matter if it was a true five minutes-- heck, kids this age can't tell time yet--just so long as I said every number, "Five minutes left... Four minutes left... Three minutes, etc."   It took about two solid weeks of using this countdown every time we went anywhere, and I mean leaving the grocery store to go to the library, then leaving the library to go to the park.  I literally did it any time we left anywhere, every single time, for two straight weeks.  Then she got the concept.

We still have meltdowns occasionally, and she's almost 8.  So clearly it isn't perfect, but I still do the 5 minute thing.  Luckily, DS is catching on now, so we aren't having anywhere near the issues.

PhieryBFly

I don't know if this helps specifically with the 'leaving places' scenario but I just bought the supplies to make this glitter orb thing that's supposed to help calm tantrums and redirect kiddos a bit. If you're interested in making one, I suggest you run out and get the little round coke bottles before Christmas ($1 at Walmart) because they're a pain and a half to find the rest of the year.

https://www.littleheartsbooks.com/2011/10/06/toddlers-tantrums-and-time-ins-oh-my/

or a different version:

https://mycrazyblessedlife.com/2011/10/03/relax-bottletime-out-timer/ 

colinsfebmommy

@PhieryBFly‌ those bottles at Walmart.... What department are those in?

PhieryBFly

colinsfebmommy said:

@PhieryBFly‌ those bottles at Walmart.... What department are those in?

colinsfebmommy I actually don't know... they were in a giant display near the entrance when I found them. I wasn't even looking for them but saw them and was like, "Oh my gosh! They FINALLY have them!"