Feeling alone

Negams45

I looked through boards and couldn't find anything about being pregnant while having a mental illness (I can't be the only one right?). Found out I got pregnant about a week after the appointment w the doc asking him to wean me off meds for pregnancy. Or at least I was pregnant at that time, but I didn't know until about two weeks ago. So I got rapidly pulled off my meds since none of them are really okay. Now I feel awful. I usually get manic off meds, but now I'm depressed. I see my doc tomorrow, but I'm afraid he'll just tell me I shouldn't have gotten pregnant. I see people professionally, but it's not the same as someone telling you they understand and they got through it okay. I just had an "I feel like driving into oncoming traffic" kind of day. The picture is my medical record snapshot. So that's where I am today.

abcdefghijk12345678

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. I'm not going through this personally, but I know that there are at least a handful of women on this board who are also transitioning off of psychiatric medications, so you're not alone in this. Hopefully your doctors will have some good suggestions to make this process a little easier on you.

KellyinHB

I don't have first hand experience but have a close friend with bipolar disorder.  I know it always wreaked havoc on her whenever her docs would try new medication paths with her. I can't imaging how shocking to the system it must be having to cut the meds you need cold turkey.  Big ((hugs)) to you for all that you are going through right now.  I'm glad you have an appointment already tomorrow.  I hope your doctor will be able to come up with a strategy that is safe for you and baby and that makes you feel better.

One more thing, I remember a few days ago there was a great thread about another member getting cut cold turkey from her meds.  I think it was for depression, but can't remember. Anyway, there was lots of great discussion.  Does anybody remember what thread that was?  (note: mentioning that not as a finger wagging, use the search bar comment.  Truly trying to be helpful!  

Negams45

Is there a search function on mobile? I'm pretty technologically retarded and could only find the categories to scroll through.

I'm thankful for the support. People tell me there are things I can't do because of being bipolar and being a mom was one. I just want to be able to prove them wrong and be happy.

abcdefghijk12345678

Negams45 said:

Is there a search function on mobile? I'm pretty technologically retarded and could only find the categories to scroll through.

I'm thankful for the support. People tell me there are things I can't do because of being bipolar and being a mom was one. I just want to be able to prove them wrong and be happy.

@Negams45‌ To search on mobile, scroll down to the bottom of the July 2015 Moms page and find the search box at the bottom.

KellyinHB

found it!

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12497250/psychiatric-care#latest

edit to add:

This was the thread a couple of us were trying to remember that had some good dialogue and possible suggestions.  Her situation was specific to depression and being cut cold turkey from meds, but maybe something will be helpful here to you too.  ((hugs)) again.

aloha_mama

I don't have any experience with what you're going through, but your post breaks my heart! You are most definitely NOT alone! There is a lot of support here and we are all your cheerleaders and supporters. (Creepy Internet stranger hug)

skippinkate

I've had 3 or so suicide attempts this year and am now pregs (see post mentioned above). I'm a train wreck. I assure you that you are not alone. I wish I had advice to offer, but I'm still trying to figure out what to do, myself.
Hoping your doctor will be helpful, kind, and understanding. This is one of those times where bedside manner is especially important. Also, you mentioned above that people say you can't be a good mom and be Bipolar, but I know several people with severe mental illnesses who are the most loving, kind, and amazing mothers. So there is one reason to try and power through.
Keep us updated!

KellyinHB

Negams45: Good luck with your doctors appointment today.  Keep us posted!

intensivepurposes

I'm also completely unmedicated (OCD) and I am right here with you.  As for your fear about your doctor telling you that you shouldn't have gotten pregnant - he or she won't.  People with mental health diagnoses deserve to have children just as much as anybody else.

I talked to my OB and my psychiatrist about easing back onto my meds after the first trimester, when there is the greatest risk to the developing fetus because organogenesis is taking place.  In my nonmedical opinion, there is a point at which the risk the medications pose to the baby are eclipsed by the risk of leaving you unmedicated and feeling isolated.  I think this is particularly true if you tend to partake in risktaking behavior during manic episodes.  Talk to your doctors about a timeline for starting your meds, what the actual risks are, and ask for copies of the research they're using to make these recommendations.  My OB had no problem with printing out articles from peer-reviewed journals and highlighting the relevant findings for me - this is her job, it's what she accepted when she took me on as a patient.  Don't worry about imposing If you find you're getting pushback, ask him or her to recommend an OB who has experience with patients with mental and behavioral health factors.

Feel free to PM me anytime.  I'm not clinical but I do have a bunch of worthless degrees in psychology, plus I'm going through this myself.

kyrenora

I'm not bipolar, but I do have OCD. It took a long time to figure out which were the "right" meds for me, and it's very scary for me having to come off one of them (luckily, it doesn't have negative effects on the fetus until the third trimester, so I get to wean off).

No good doctor will tell you that you shouldn't have gotten pregnant, unless your doctor is House.

If you're looking for more people here in a similar situation, in addition to the thread that was already posted, there was recently this one that dealt specifically with bipolar disorder.

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12486781/bi-polar-and-preggers

Negams45

Doc essentially said "try to reduce stress". Which is nice, but I hate that. Like it's an easy choice. Any suggestions?

@intensivepurposes‌ I like when docs are nice and respectful about you being a scientist instead of finding you annoying I think PubMed might be worse than WebMD though!