So, I had a wedding gown I never wore as I ended up getting married in the court only with a blue dress. This wedding gown was sitting in the closet using a huge space and now that we are getting the bedroom ready for our coming kids I had to get rid of it. I posted it on Craigslist actually a few weeks ago and no one showed interest on it and I was about to just give it away (I paid 500 on that thing). Well, last night this woman contacted me interested on the dress for her daughter. She was really hoping it would fit her as she couldnt afford a dress from the store and the dresses she found were not clean or looking nice. As we talked I mentioned to her why I was selling the dress and that is when she shared with me that she was adopted with her twin sister from the MN waiting Children when she was 5! Of course I started with one million questions and she was nice enough to answer everything. I was so excited to meet someone like her that has grown to be a great adult with a beautiful daughter!
They came in today and when I saw the girl I thought " crap, she is short! the dress wont work!" but turns out it fitted her perfectly! I sold to her for a very small price as she couldnt afford much, actually I almost gave her for free but my DH would be mad at me if I did that... Her daughter is my age and she has 4 kids of her own! I dont know what impressed me more, her age or how many kids she had because when I first saw her I thought she was on early 20s and she is actually 30!
Anyway, one of the things I had to ask that woman was if she had an open adoption and if she kept contact with her Birth Parents. I was very impressed when she told me she had the option of seeing her bith parents but she chose not to and she never wanted to see them again. I didnt want to ask why but I am thinking she didnt have good memories from them which is very said. She also told me she was very scared her birth parents would ever find her and she was happy the couple who adopted her lived far from the city in a farm. She said she felt happy and safe there with her sister. Isn`t this sad? She told me to be very careful with that.
That makes me ask, if the kids are very young, yet have memories of the birth parents, but are not able to verbalize their feelings, how do we know if the open adoption is the best for them? How do we know that having them keep in touch with the birth family is making them happy or sad?
Anyone here have this experience? Anyone has and open adoption with older kids ? I would love to hear some different experience or opinions...