I have a confession

aditigirl

Thank you all for the advice and support.

PrimRoseMama

Hugs. >:D<

Unknown

This content has been removed.

JNerd

Hugs @aditigirl‌
I know exactly how you feel. I really struggle with my body and can't seem to find a medium settings. I either eat all the things, or restrict and log and exercise frantically. I can't seem to find moderation.

You are not alone.

I wish I could think of something more supportive to say, but I struggle with this everyday too.

BluepointToasted

Honestly, @spooko has been such a support to me. For me, self acceptance was really about re-evaluating life, what's important, and recognizing how fit I actually was. Yeah, I will never be a size 2 (or probably in the single digits at all), but I can run, I can lift heavy weights, I can play with my kid, I can climb. Those things are important to me. Do I look great in a bikini? No, but do I really need to?

I have had the issue before of getting obsessive over calorie counting. It's a very fine line for me, and it messes with my head. It's the only way I have ever successfully dropped any weight, but I hate evaluating my self worth by whether or not MFP tells me I'm ok.

I am nowhere close to achieving what I want mentally, but I'm on my way. Please check out the resources others have given you here. I know counseling is probably not in the cards for you right now, but at least hop onto that online support group triple a was talking about. And PM me anytime.

Hugs

MrsT0514

Many hugs to you @aditigirl‌. Like another PP here mentioned, are there a bh y support groups you can look into until you are able to seek out individual therapy?

While I do not have specific experience with this, I do know how it feels to struggle with my body/self confidence as a result of weight gain. Im so sorry you're struggling. I hope you can find an avenue of support to lean on in the mean time. Please be kind to yourself.

ShakeyJakey

Huge hugs beautiful lady. My last IG post was awfully timed, I see I'm sorry

Helenahhandbasket

Oh no.  I have been there-- I get easily obsessed, and my mindset is usually all or nothing.

One thing that has helped me is to remind myself if I have a bad day and go overboard (eating wise/ calorie wise) that tomorrow is a new day and a new chance for me to start over.

Hugs. 

angelashly

No advice really, but I think you got great advice from everyone else. I will just give you all my love and tell you what a great person you are and you are stronger than you let yourself think. I wish all the good things for you. ((Hugs)) :x

angelashly

ScoutNumbers05 said:

And it makes me so, so mad that access to mental health services and professionals is so unattainable in this country.

Like, so fucking mad.

So much this.

vandelay

Sending you huge hugs, hon. I am so sorry to hear how much you are hurting, and you have my support.

nattyncbride

I want to toe the line and say I can empathize, as I too have used used MFP, but I'm not going to pretend I know exactly how you feel (like when someone is vulnerable enough to admit they are depressed, and someone says "I've been kinda bummed lately too").

Thought #1: the desire to 'rebel' or eat a ton might wear off. I was tracking a few months ago, and I got anxious and was quick to judge myself if I didn't get the numbers I wanted.  The guilt of not working out enough or eating too much kept me up at night, and I felt I was not enjoying anything because I was thinking about my calories.  So I stopped.  For the first week, I went nuts eating stuff I don't even normally eat (fast food, greasy breakfast sandwiches, dessert at every meal).  I just wanted to feel full. That wore off in about a week or two.

Thought #2: if things start to settle down, maybe you can take a few meals and workouts that worked for you while you were using MFP, and incorporate them into your every day routine.  I found that eating a hard boiled egg, some almonds, and instant oatmeal was under 300 calories, but also was satisfying.  I'm no longer using MFP, but this is my weekday breakfast.  I also know that running 30min burns ~280 calories, so even though I'm not tracking, I try to get that in a few days a week.

Thought #3: someone wrote something funny a few weeks ago like 'Dieting over the holidays is an asshole move'.  More seriously, but in the same vein, if ever there was a time to be a bit gentle on yourself, it's now.  Yes, it's also a time to be more cautious, sure, but also gentle.  Winter overall is hard.  I give myself less leniency in the Spring/Summer.

Again, I have no idea if these things help.  I hope they help, but if not, just know like other PPs, I am sending you lots of positive thoughts, and am in total support of you.

pepperedmoth

I really struggle with this too. No advice, just commiseration and you are NOT alone.

Mags748

Hugs. I have been there too. I struggled with this a young teenager but it never really goes away.

There wasn't really one thing that helped me and I still don't know if I am fully healed but I think taking care of your mental health is key (whether through support groups, therapy, antidepressants etc).

Feel free to message me if for questions/support

acesup

I'm so sorry you are going through this! I know you said therapy isn't an option right now, is it bc of finances? There might be free services in your area? Support groups? Employee EAP?

And I didn't read all the replies so I apologize if any of that was already discussed.

Just want to give you big huge (((hugs)))

EVA116

I'm so sorry you are struggling. Big hugs lady. I think about food and weight and exercise all.the.time. It is hard to stop and enjoy things sometimes.

jesuisfatiguee

I don't have experience in this particular struggle, but **hugs** to you. I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. Is there any free counseling you can find in your area?

Unknown

This content has been removed.