When are you done

chloebeth930

This may just be the Clomid talking, but I have been thinking a lot lately about how if these next steps don't work for us (Clomid again this cycle and then IUI next cycle) when would we be done and just accept that DD will be an only child.

I know that we aren't comfortable with IVF.  We are OOP for one thing, and also, I just can't imagine going through something so invasive that in the end might not work out for us (thanks alot TTCAL brain).  I have started to think now of how many IUI's I would be willing to do before throwing in the towel.  Unfourtantly DH is on this ride becuase I want a second so bad.  I am pretty sure he would be ok if I just said screw it. 

So ladies, when are you done?  Do you have a timeline or treatment plan where you say "enough is enough?"

NB817

Honestly I don't know. We will see what the RE says and I feel we need to give it a try with what they tell us even though we are OOP too. It all so so hard!

Limbo2000

 Ive debated getting on B/C if we aren't successful within the next 6 mos, because Ive realized Ive let TTC stress take away from the other things I should be enjoying in life. Its a tough decision, I feel for you and wish you luck as well

leah2489

It's such a hard decision. I originally gave myself a cutoff of the age of 30. Well, that passed last February and we're still trying

If my kids weren't so old already I would probably stick it out and try for a while, but my son is almost 14, and I really don't want my kids being 15+ years apart. Not to mention the emotional rollercoaster that I don't think I can handle much longer.

We have about 6 more cycles before calling it quits and being happy with what we have

SpartanChick88

We gave ourselves a year, which will be April. We decided not to seek intervention so I guess April will be it. I will turn 36 then too so I suppose it's a double deadline

Reagan1010

I got a BFN today after my first medicated IUI cycle. This next cycle we are trying IVF. If the IVF cycle doesn't work we will try until we have no remaining blastocytes. If we get through this next few months and still no baby we will give up trying for another biological child. We will adopt though because neither DH or I am ready to stop growing our family. We are really leaning towards foster to adopt but are open to private adoption as well. We have been trying for another child for so long, we are both ready to move onto adoption soon if we don't get pregnant in the next few months. We are both at peace with it. Oh, we also have talked about even if we do conceive, we might still adopt a third chikd once the baby was a few years old.

NB817

@Reagan1010 that love it was for your plan, not for your bfn! Sorry about that!

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welly01

I'm not sure about when we'll be done.  We've had 2 losses this year.  If we have another loss, I think I will want RPL testing.  DH is also approaching 40, so that may factor into our decision.  We're only 6 months into trying for #2 though, so I feel like we are a long ways away from admitting defeat.  I don't think we will consider IVF or adoption though.

chloebeth930

DH has severe MFI (only 2% of his swimmers move forward).  I feel like if we aren't doing IUI, then we are really just admitting defeat. 

I am now trying to wrap my head around how many IUI I would be willing to put myself through (and also pay OOP for). 

Then, if the IUI don't work and I reach my breaking point, do I just keep DTD unprotected in hopes that some miracle happens, or do we just get on BCP and say screw this only one for us.

........Did I mention this sucks?

BootsOrHearts

These are crappy decisions to have to make to be sure. I think you just have to take it day by day and see how you feel. If TTC is just crazy-making and you are ready to move on, you'll know. 

We're not there yet but realistically we only have funds for 1-2 more IVFs and I'm already AMA so there are only a handful of years left that it's realistic to expect something to happen. We had dreams of 3 kids but we are thrilled we have 1. Two would be amazing. More than that and we'd be over the moon but it may not happen. 

purplehaze11

That's being going through my mind for the past 8 months. I've had two miscarriages this year, but they think they have found the cause (a fibroid). I'm going for surgery next week to get it removed, but have been told me need to ttc quickly to get pregnant before another one may grow. I would say at this time next year I will be done, either way. DH is ready to be done whenever I say, as I'm the one pushing for a second.

SpartanChick88

Hugs @Reagan1010‌

schuebja

I think we'll see what happens during 2015 and go from there.

RedRaiderLaura

sweetc129 said:

NB817 said:

@Reagan1010 that love it was for your plan, not for your bfn! Sorry about that!

Me too
>:D<

Mine as well. Sorry about BFN.

twocents6708

We haven't started treatments yet since we are benched for a few months and just now starting the TTCAS stage. When we were TTC our first LO, we said we wouldn't do IVF. I am willing to do IUI but DH is still on the fence. We have discussed embryo adoption as well but there is a possibility we would be "one and done" if treatment got too costly, both emotionally and financially. I work in the foster care system so we wouldn't be able to foster unless I quit my job due to regulations, but it's something I would have to think hard about or we might become licensed through a private agency if that's where our journey takes us.

wreckitsmommy

DH and I have had this talk many times and I play it over in my head over and over. DS is 2 and was IVF. We have not used protection since and nothing. We've just gone back to RE and are starting to save for another round because it's just too expensive for is at the moment. While I just feel like throwing in the towel at times, I'd really like to give my DS and sibling.