Going tomorrow to confirm if our 8 wk old is still w/out a heartbeat after check up last week.

ameliaba

This has been the most wrenching week of my and my DH's lives. The loss is hard to pin point and it feels so foreign. I go from functioning, to crying at least every 2-3 hours on this vicious, tiring and cleansing cycle. It is hard to understand how loving something so small that we never even met is so possible. I feel more ready then ever to get pregnant again and for that I am grateful, but now there is a new anxiety that I did not have about not just "can I get pregnant" but can it stick?? I am now scared for my apt. tomorrow and the news. And trying to decide whether it is best to wait, take the pill, or do the surgery. I would love the closure of the surgery, but problem is that our deductible is $10,000 so I don't think the surgery is going to be possible. As of now, physically, there no major bleeding, no cramping whatsoever, but some spotting which I have had the whole time I was pregnant anyhow, even at 6 and 7 weeks when there were heartbeats. So there is still this illogical hope I am carrying for tomorrow, though I know it is futile. What I am looking for are not horror stories, there are plenty of those online, but stories of m/c survival, tips and advice, esp. those who did it naturally or with the medication. The emotional pain has been present, but I am awaiting the physical. Thanks.

purplehaze11

I'm sorry for your pain, but I doubt you will be getting many of those stories on this board, as we have all suffered a loss and are trying to conceive post miscarriage.

Frenchteachermama

So sorry for what you are going through, I think the miscarriage board is a better place for you right now. I had to have a D&C 5 weeks after I initially took misoprostol for my miscarriage. ((Hugs))

buggirl72

I'm sorry for your loss. I had two natural miscarriages, one at 4 weeks 5 days and one at 9 weeks of a sac that measured at 5 weeks per u/s. Both were done without medication and I did not have any complications. Since you are closer to where I was with the 9 week loss, my recommendation would be, if you do go a completely natural route,  that you have your doctor prescribe pain pills for after - I tend to have contractions in my lower back and it was sore afterwards. The actual loss was accompanied by some intense but not horrible cramps. I would also ask your doctor if they want you to bring in what you pass so they can do testing.

I let the ladies who used medication to speed up the process weigh in on their experience.

Finally, if you have not been on progesterone and if your body is not miscarrying on your own, you might find that medication will not work and you will not have any choice but to do a D&C. It stinks that your deductible is so high but you need to remember that your health is the most important thing.

rmpar29

I'm very sorry that you are in this situation.  I really have no advice on whether a D&C or waiting for the miscarriage is easier.  They both equally suck.  Have a good talk with your doctor and your DH and I'm sure you will make the right choice. 

@mlal78 is very wise, feel what you feel and do whatever you need to do to get through this.  It will get easier and in time you will have more good days then bad.  Good luck and I echo the advice to visit the Miscarriage board if you'd like.  You are more than welcome here too.  ((((HUGS))))

Manada

I'm so sorry for what you're facing.   I don't have anything to offer in terms of your decision, but I wish you peace in whatever you decide.

rubysi

I am sorry for your loss. I did take the medication. It was a horrible 7 hrs but it was complete for me. I am sorry you have to go through this. The DR'S will tell you it is like a heavy period... They are wrong. I will be like nothing you have felt before. If they offer pain medication take it before you start the mistoprosal. Hugs.

MellyMel15

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. It's so hard. I don't have any advice to offer either. Wishing you the best of luck at your appointment. Take care. 

kreardon11

I am so sorry for your loss. I have no experience with the medication, but I've had two D&Cs. I know it sucks to be out the money, but I would always recommend the D&C. That was how they caught I had a molar pregnancy (risk of cancer, 1:1500, not to scare). I had a mmc this last one and they recommended a D&C because my body was not recognizing the loss. The emotional aspect is by far the hardest part. Your body will heal, and you will move forward physically, but please allow yourself and your partner time to heal. Personally, my marriage has been affected, and we're working with therapists which has helped immensely. My DH actually said this morning that "every corner of his heart is filled with sadness even when I don't know it". I don't say this to scare, but, know they need support too. Our partners are strong, but please take care of yourselves. So many hugs. 

VaBarnet

I am sorry for what you are going trough... Both my MC were natural and very painful (specially the second one), so I am with the ladies who said that if you take the pills make sure they give you some pain medicine... Again I am so very sorry... Hugs

SHAYD12

I just/ am going threw the same thing. At 8 weeks the baby still had no heart beat. I ended up taking the pill. 3-4 hours after I had horrible pain.(I took the pain meds the doc told me to.) that first night was really ruff, I was so sick throwing up and horrible cramps but after I went from one pain pill to two I could sleep. The next two days were off but not as painful. I passed the baby on day 3. I have cramps on and off and very sore but I am ok. I read on the miscarriage board all the story's and it really helped me prepare myself for what's to come. I had lots of rolls and soup to eat to take with my pain pills and Gatorade. Plan to not do anything. I couldn't even move that first day it hurt so bad. Say up with the pills your doctor gives you, once that pain comes on you will be glad you took them.

I am really sorry to hear your going threw this. Is so hard on so many different levels.

meredithcarole

I am so sorry.

Percocet is helpful, mainly because it knocks you out. And heating pads - they help, too.

welly01

I'm so sorry for your loss.  It is a really tough decision whether to take the meds or have a D&C.  I chose to try the medicine 3 times because I wanted to avoid a D&C.  The second dose worked to pass the sac but I ended up having to have a D&C for retained tissue anyway.

IMO, there are more risks with a D&C (scarring, uterine puncture).  These risks are small and most people have no trouble at all with having a D&C.  I've seen many people say the D&C is easier emotionally because (usually) it ends the whole process quickly.

I will also agree with everyone who says to make sure your doctor gives you GOOD pain medicine if you choose to MC at home.  My doctor prescribed hydrocodone and a large dose of ibuprofen and I was still curled up on the bathroom floor for most of the night.  Definitely prepare yourself for a lot of bleeding and intense cramping.

Again, this decision is so hard and so personal.  Good luck with whatever you decide.

vmatt850

So sorry for what you are going through. No matter how early a loss, it is still heartbreaking. You find your world changing as soon as you get that positive test and then, all of a sudden, you're supposed to go back to "normal"? Eff that.

My MC was natural so, I can't offer any words of advice there. It was definitely more painful than I initially expected it to be. I found that a heating pad, or two, were my best friends.

I so love what @mlal78‌ said about grieving. There is no right or wrong way to do it. Just feel what you are going to feel when you are going to feel it. I laid in bed a lot and watched some of my favorite movies with my favorite fur babies. I found that looking DH in the face was a bit hard to do, so I asked for some space (in a super nice way, of course). It's all on your terms. Surround yourself with whatever makes you feel happy/content/ok at that moment.

So many hugs, thoughts, good vibes, and prayers headed your way!

GeorgiaDottie

I'm sorry you are going through the process but I hope the physical part is not extremely painful or prolonged. I cannot speak to the medication as I had D&Cs for my 2 losses so I would rely on what the others are saying.

Know you're welcome at this board as well as the m/c board mentioned above.