Need unbiased advice - dont know where else to go.

Ipaddletoo

Soo...  I just found out Im pregnant, via at home test.   I have been on birth control consistently for years.  My period has always been out of whack on it.  
Well,  I got the last one in August, and I was starting to worry so last night I took a test to 'put my mind at ease', then 3 more,  all positive like INSTANTLY.
A lot of good that did.  

My husband and I separated back in May and have now been talking about getting back together and possibly starting a family if things continue working out.  Odds are, this isnt his kid.  If I really conceived after my last period I am 14-15 weeks pregnant.  I drink, I smoke, I eat constant junk.  
So Im so worried that I have done tons of damage to this baby with out even knowing it was there.
I dont know if my husband and I can patch things up if I am carrying someone elses child.  How would I even tell him that?

I also dont know if Florida allows abortions after the first trimester....   So that may not even be an option.

I'm kind of freaking out here.  Any help/advice is GREATLY appreciated.  

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prettypiggy

I don't what to say. I like to think things happen for a reason but know not everyone subscribes to that and some might fault with you for getting preg without being completely over with the husband. You are going through a lot right now between pregnancy, the paternity issue, your separation and questioning if you have harmed the baby. You need a trusted friend to help you figure out how to proceed because I doubt anyone could think clearly in that situation. My suggestion is get to a doctor as quick as possible to confirm with the times. There is no way to know paternity until the child is born. I think you need to be straightforward with your ex from the gate if there is any chance left. I don't now if dating will helping with guessing at paternity depends on when the sex happened and if you even remember exactly at this point. Also doctors can tell you about birth defects based on alcohol and smoking. In the old days many women did this. It's not good but necessarily as bad as you might be assuming based on your consumption.

taahira

With your cycle being out of wack, and on birth control the first thing I would do is seek medical advise. They will be able to tell you how far along you are, and what your options are. Good luck!

mandi195

I think honesty is the best policy always

Ipaddletoo

Thats definitely the plan.  AFTER I see a doctor at least.  
I figure this will either make or break us.  He's always REALLY wanted kids.

PrimRoseMama

I'd tell him there is a possibility it's not his. He has a right to know.

Ipaddletoo

PrimRoseMama said:

I'd tell him there is a possibility it's not his. He has a right to know.

Definitely.   I wouldnt be able to 'not' tell him.   The main concern was with that is how....   

janda426

Do you mean it's likely not his based on it being a while since you've had sex? Or just because your cycles are abnormal? Have you had sex with your H recently?

It's a tough situation. All you can do is be honest and get to a doctor ASAP.

PrimRoseMama

FTR-- I don't fault you for sex outside your marriage. If you were separated or in the middle of a divorce-- it's not my business who you sleep with.

I just feel it is your husband's business that the baby might not be his. The fallout from having sex with another man will have to be worked out between you two.

Whitfry

OP - do YOU want this baby? You mention abortion. I think it's important that you decide what it is that you want, because that's not clear from your posts.

I agree with pp's that you should see a doctor and educate yourself in state law. I also agree that, if you're keeping this baby and plan to reconcile with your husband, it's important to be honest with him.

If you're keeping the baby it's also important to understand you'll need to make major lifestyle changes so that your baby is healthy and your pregnancy is safe. The baby is innocent in all this, so if you keep it, it deserves the best chance to thrive that you can give it. That's also something to consider while you're weighing your options.

2undertwo2bee

I'm confused by this post and the post you just made abt being 17 weeks pregnant on the board.

2undertwo2bee

I'm confused by this post and the post you just made abt being 17 weeks pregnant on the board.

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staciecoffey

I'm sitting here stuffing my face and trying to not yell WTF, at this post.