start discouraging behaviors? or not yet?

springbeduk2

I feel like this is a very stupid question (set of questions) , but, like so many other aspects of bring a FTM, I feel so totally clueless even though it seems like something I should know! And no time to go do lots of reading plusanyway books will give conflicting advice. So ... what do you all, esp.STMs or others with lots of previous baby experience, say?

DD id 7 months old. Dh thinks we (so mostly I) should be saying no and generally discouraging her when she screeches/yells. I think it's too soon for that especially when she is playing. But then his point is when will I start saying no and I don't have a good answer. But I don't think she'll really understand yet and Aldo think it is still appropriate for her to be experimenting with her voice. I'm more OK with trying to discourage her from yelling /screaming as her first fuss but also think its likely to be futile.

Then there ate other things which I think are developmentally normal at this age but which will be inappropriate later - what to do about those?
examples :
-blowing raspberries (which she finally really mastered today wfter working at it the last few weeks and which I find totally adorable but dh not so much)
-putting board books (or any book) in her mouth (while I think this is normal it still pains me to see her do it having been taught to treat books with care and respect always.)

Please share your wisdom! Even if you think I'm an idiot and my dh is right. It's all OK

mymommyplace

I don't have much of an answer since I'm in the same boat as you, FTM. But I do say 'no' when DS does something like pull the foam mats on the floor apart and then put it in his mouth. I don't discourage yelling or chewing on a toy. I think it's natural response to say 'no' especially when DS is trying to turn over during diaper change - I don't know if he understands my thinking is not yet because he keeps doing those things but maybe my saying might eventually stick - soooo I guess I'm for saying 'no' now - not sure how much that helps!

Helmink0804

If it's not harmful to her or to others we let her explore- at least for now. Why she pulls hair, pulls ears, etc we tell her no and to be gentle- we take her hand and rub our faces saying gentle. Since she's an army crawling machine if she gets near something she shouldn't be- we tell her no and move her away. She's also 7 months.

Junebug060609

Funny you bring up screeching today of all days...I heard it all.day.long...in stereo. Both dd and my 3 year old.

Telling them no now isn't going to accomplish much. They are learning new tricks, and volume control is one of those tricks. Same with the raspberries. New tricks get practiced. Incessantly.

Mouthing is common well into toddlerhood. I'm still dealing with it with my (developmentally delayed) 3 year old, actually.

I do occasionally say things like, "we don't kick brother" if she accidentally karate chops him...but that's more because he'd hear similar if he kicked her, not bc I expect her to listen.

yogasailmomma

My problem with saying No for things like chewing on books, toys and screeching is that I would have to be constantly saying no all day and it would lose its effectiveness. I want to say no to things that will harm her or are off limits.

Does that make sense? I'm also a FTM so just trying to muck through it all day by day

Edited because spelling is hard

jenb_99

I don't mind if my babies put board books (or pretty much anything else that's not dangerous or unsanitary) in their mouths since it's a normal stage of development and usually corrects itself without intervention.

I will gently shush and distract a screechy baby only if the noise is disruptive, like if we're in a public place or if someone in the house is sleeping.

I redirect if necessary, but I rarely scold or say no at this age. The only things I've told DD not to do so far are biting (my nipples...ow) and pinching.

usernewname

The screeching is normal as it's a developmental stepping stone with language. Just model proper voice volume and they learn.

I stop chewing of books and paper. Everything else toy wise is fair game.

Biting me or pulling my hair and face is stopped. And when he does it to others.

Katzalia

Like PPs, right now I'm doing a lot of redirecting (taking something away and giving something safer/more acceptable). The other thing is I'm trying to be consistent in not giving a lot of attention to behaviors I don't want to see recurring (and conversely, giving lots of attention for appropriate exploring).

I'm a book lover, too, but it's so developmentally normative to be mouthing things that I consider her board books fair game. Other books are not for little mouths here tho!

Eta: But as she doesn't know any better, if I let her get at a more delicate book with her mouth, that's a mama oops and redirect, not a no for baby.

deanna1313

I feel like the stuff you mentioned is all developmentally appropriate(like you said) and I wouldn't really discourage it. I agree that it is tough to see him chew on books. I keep books away in a bin and leave out bath books which are plastic type for him to chew away on.
Screeching is big around here. It's only human to say no to things, but I try not to do it too often since he is just expressing himself. I do tell him "shhhhh" and "no" and etc. in stores when he is screeching there. Lol

I agree that if "No" is over used it makes it confusing. They are very little still and we have plenty of time to discourage certain behaviors. I do feel like changing my tone of voice when I don't like something is more important than the actual words right now.
My son is very physical and scratches my face, bites me, pulls hair, etc so I am telling him no and making my voice deeper when I say it. It distracts him at least.

springbeduk2

Thank you all

1sttimemomma2013

As some previous mommas said...redirection. I learned to give her a teething toy while we read books. And if she starts screeching I talk back in a quiet voice. Usually she's trying to get my attention. That usually lowers the volume if her "talking." I also redirect the pinching/pulling by giving her something else in her hand or opening her hand and let her touch while saying gentle.

delatl

I'm a FTM but will add as a librarian that chewing on books is part of early literacy. It sounds strange but anything at this point that lets them handle the book is positive. I let my DD do whatever she wants to board books. I keep the nicer books out of her reach when I read them.