Almost 3 YO suddenly will only sleep in our bed

kknoll59

I have an almost 3 year old who has always been an amazing sleeper-could sleep anywhere, anytime for hours. Suddenly, for the past 2 weeks or so, he has been coming down to our bed in the middle of the night. He falls asleep in his bed and still takes good naps in his bed, but every night he has been coming down to our bed and wanting to sleep there. We've been letting him come in with us and making sure he feels safe, taking him back to his bed or even letting him fall asleep with us and then taking him back up. But, he wakes up and comes back down. Hes not scared, he doesnt say a word when he comes in, no crying or anything. It was nice at first but its been 2 weeks since we've been able to sleep through the night! And, a side note, hes potty trained and almost always has a dry pull up in the am but the last few mornings hes been saying to us "Im going potty in my pull up". Anyone gone through this before??

ashiscute

It's normal for LOs to want to sleep with their parents. My DD is 3 and she always asks to sleep with me. I say no. Every once in awhile she comes in our room in the middle of the night and I take her back to bed. Unless they are sick I don't let them in my bed.

About the pull-up. Isn't that what they're for? Either put him in underwear or accept that he's not ready and will use his pull/-up.

greyt00

There may be no particular reason for this behavior starting up. You have to be consistent. I do things a little differently if they are really sick, but otherwise, back to bed immediately every time. My DS1 has autism and I cannot do or allow anything even one time in a routine if i don't want to repeat it. He gets stuck on it immediately. We've been through rough times on sleeping. We will take him to the bathroom once each night if he needs to go (so far he hasn't asked more than once) but otherwise it's back to his bed.

On the pull-up, maybe he's just trying to get a reaction out of you. I would just ignore him. I have to ignore a lot of things and it's really hard for me to do, but as a general rule, if you don't like a behavior, but it's not hurting anything, ignore. Praise the good stuff.

kknoll59

Ok...well start doing that. Its hard when they tell you they're scared-but Im starting to sense that hes figured out thats something he can say that will get a sympathetic reaction out of us. 

Yes thats what pull ups are for but hes been using a pull up for the last 6 months and has never used it like a diaper. And even now that he is, he tells us before he does it "mom, Im going potty in my pull up" so its not even like its an accident. Hes either becoming lazy or he figures hell get attention, good or bad for it. 

Thanks for your insight ladies-looking back, it feels like it should be common sense!

vrj0522

I was about to post about this! DS is 2 1/2 and has been doing this for the last 3 weeks. We had a lot of changes at once… new baby, move 2 1/2 weeks later, and change from crib to big boy's bed. He was fine on the new bed but we've been wondering if it's the new room he's in or the baby that sleeps in our room which has prompted this. In addition, he is extremely high strung and I just know he would throw a huge fit and we'd be up for hours if we tried sending him to bed and because I'm already sleep-deprived from the baby, we've been letting him stay when he comes in. The bad thing is that he is coming in earlier and earlier now and where he used to sleep by our feet, he now thinks he is a part of the party and wants to sleep in the middle of DH and me, which makes me think it will just become harder to kick him out of our bed the longer we wait. 

I haven't known how to approach it (we gave him a flashlight in case he was scared but that didn't do anything) but from reading above, it seems like we just have to send him back and deal with whatever reaction he has. Good thing it's the weekend. 

ashiscute

kknoll59 said:

Ok...well start doing that. Its hard when they tell you they're scared-but Im starting to sense that hes figured out thats something he can say that will get a sympathetic reaction out of us. 

Yes thats what pull ups are for but hes been using a pull up for the last 6 months and has never used it like a diaper. And even now that he is, he tells us before he does it "mom, Im going potty in my pull up" so its not even like its an accident. Hes either becoming lazy or he figures hell get attention, good or bad for it. 

Thanks for your insight ladies-looking back, it feels like it should be common sense!

If he's been in pull-ups for 6 months without using it like a diaper then I would take the pull-ups away and put him in underwear.  It sounds like it's for attention and I'd give him as little as possible.  

Being a parent would always easier in retrospect!