XP from May 14. May have to transistion to daycare earlier than expected and looking for input.

QOTR

Hi All,

This is my first time posting here.  I don't venture out from my BMB much and I'm realizing I should.   While looking to see if there was a working mom board I saw other boards that may be of interest that I never knew existed. 

Anyway, my brief intro:   I'm a 41 year old first time mom to a 6 month old son.  I work from home and we have a nanny here during the day.  Our hope was to keep DS home for 9-12 months and then move to daycare, but our nanny just gave her two week notice.   So now my head is spinning.  I don't know whether we should get a new nanny or move to daycare earlier.    I don't know what would be easier on him.   I don't like having to rush on such a big decision and I'm feeling very unsettled over it.

Does anyone have experience with starting daycare at 6 months vs. 9 months vs 12 months?   Is there an "ideal age" for a child to start daycare?

WLJ2

I don't know if their is an ideal age. My sin started at three months, stopped at six and started again at a 1 1/2. I think it's more of what your comfortable with. Sorry I don't have more to offer.

shannm

Kids seem to transition better earlier. My daughter has had classmates that start as toddlers and it is hard on them. I understand tat some folks like the 1:1 care for the first year. Both of my kids started less than 8 weeks and they thrived.

Katelobster

If the area where you live is anything like the area where I live, there's no way in heck you're going to get an infant spot in a decent daycare in two weeks, so you're going to have to have some sort of interim care no matter what.

A lot of babies start to experience separation anxiety around 9-12 months. I don't use daycare, but my daughter would start bawling if I stood up and walked to the bathroom. That is why many people say "earlier is better", but you have to feel comfortable with it, too. If you enjoy having him at home and feel more comfortable with it, I'd go with another nanny.

KayteeGee

My son started at 8 months. I was not 100% on board with daycare and wanted more individual care but our nanny share fell through and DH was really pro daycare.
IT WAS WONDERFUL.
We have a nanny now for DD (3 mo) because I just need the house help but we still send DS to his daycare. We will keep DD with the nanny as DS goes to prek next fall and a nanny will just work better for our family. But I admit to having pangs about DD not ever being in the care situation DS was in. The socialization, the "expert" care, the guidance I got about what was "normal" and the value I got in just seeing his peers.
3 years ago I never would have EVER believed I'd feel even slightly concerned about not sending my child to a daycare center.
Sounds like your situation is super stressful but I promise daycare for littles can be a good thing!

djm31012

My DS started at 9 mos and thrived, but I dont see much of a difference between sending them at 6 mos vs 9mos.  I would look at a few centers and see what availability is and where you get that "feeling" and I would also interview a few nannies. I NEVER saw myself as a daycare mom. I interviewed 4 nannies for DS (I was in a similar stressful situation and scrambling). I cried when each one left my house.  I toured 2 centers....hated one...LOVED another and we chose that and have been so happy ever since. He absolutely loves going, runs to his teachers and everything. I am actually stopping work after the new year but we are going to keep DS in daycare 2 days a week just because I hate to take it away from him. Before panicking I would go look at a few centers. In the first 5 minutes you will know if its a fit.

groovygrl

My twins started at 5 months. I agree there is not really an ideal age. BUt as pp said, you may not be able to get a spot in 2 weeks and you dont want to rush it or choose a place just b/c it is the only one available so maybe find an interim nanny  or sitter and plan on DC in 2015?

QOTR

Thanks for all the input ladies!  I'm feeling a little more calm this morning and you've given me a lot to consider as I compile my pro & con list. 

MickeyM04

I didn't read all the previous responses but I just wanted to say that I think the earlier they start DC the better.  Around 9ish months you start getting some of the separation anxiety and whatnot.  I would hate to have to start DC in the midst of that phase.  We started DS in DC originally when he was 3 months.  Then at 7 months we pulled him out and got a nanny.  She quit without notice and at 22 months we had to put him back in.  That was a tremendous shit show.  Took him a good month and a half to stop having meltdowns at drop off.  It was so hard for him to get used to the new situation.  At 3 months he could have cared less, and all the way up to 7 months he never cried when we dropped him off.

DD started at 3 months and just turned 7 months.  She cried for the first and only time at drop off on Wednesday this week.  

I think if you start now, you're in great shape to have a quick adjustment.

traveltheworld

My DS started DC at 10 months and although I think DC has been really great for him, I'm choosing to get a nanny for our second child until he/she is 1.5-2 years old.  DS got sick often during the first year of DC, and although that will happen at any age when you first send a child to DC, it's much easier dealing with a 2 year old who is sick vs. a 1 year old.  At that young age, DS couldn't communicate well and there was definitely no reasoning with him.  So for example, when he had diarhea and was getting severly dehydrated, we couldn't convince him to drink anything and resorted to pinning him down and squirting pedilyte in him.  Whereas nowadys when he is sick, he will listen to us and drink and rest.  Also, when he was sick while he was little, I didn't have the heart to leave him with an "emergency nanny" so I ended up taking a lot of time off work; whereas now when he does get sick, I just call one of those emergency nanny services and get a nanny in for the day and he and I are both good with that.

That said, our plan is to have our nanny take our second child to a lot of play dates and activities outside of the house so that he/she still gets the social interaction aspect of DC.

*sparky*

I agree that it may be tough getting into a good DC in two weeks. When I looked at DCs while PG most had long wait lists. Also I agree with the last poster as far as dealing with sicknesses when they are little. We are just going into cold and flu season and if your LO has been home until now they will most likely be getting sick a lot more once they start DC.

So if it were me I would probably go with another nanny for now and reassess once your LO is a year.

QOTR

As  you guys predicted, we've done a preliminary check of day-cares and most that we're interested in don't have availability.  I've been pleased with some quick responses to our care.com ad already.  There are a couple of candidates that seem promising.   I'm stepping back from the cliff.

But yes, this is a good eye-opener that we need to lock down a day-care and get on their waiting list for a March-May start. 

QTee

Keep in mind jan-mar is peak cold flu season. You may miss a lot of work being home with a sick baby. I would try and hold off until April.

Katelobster

also, fwiw, I don't know your reasoning for the 9-12 month range, but I'd check out when the daycare you're interested in transitions kids from infant rooms to toddler rooms and consider starting then. For many (though not all) daycares, it's 12 months. Since you're trying to minimize transitions, you probably don't want to have your kiddo start in an infant room at 10.5 months and then be moved to a toddler room (which are generally very different from infant rooms- no cribs, set nap time, etc) just 6 weeks later. Good luck!

ss+el

WLJ2 said:

I don't know if their is an ideal age. My sin started at three months, stopped at six and started again at a 1 1/2. I think it's more of what your comfortable with. Sorry I don't have more to offer.

Every child is different, but I agree there is no "ideal" age.
Mine started at 3mos, stopped at 4mos, started again at 5 mos, stopped at 10mos, and started again at 22mos. He cried at dropoff (and stopped by the time I got out of the parking lot) for the first couple of weeks at 22mos, but otherwise, the changes never really seemed to affect him.

QOTR

Thanks again everyone.  Those are good points to consider.  We're hoping to find a good nanny candidate and stick to our original plan to transition him later.  And that's an excellent point @katelobster.  We'll add that to our daycare interview questions.