Need a C-section and coming to terms.

AudraMM

I am 35 weeks, my son is frank breech and has been for a long time. Today it became a reality that a c section is going to happen unless he magically decides to flip for the first time ever. I have never been one to plan my birth and said I would be okay with whatever is medically necessary. Nothing about this pregnancy has been normal but I was hoping for at least a normal vaginal delivery. Now I find myself needing to cope with the reality of needing a c section. I am looking for some perspective to help me feel confident going into this. Right now I am sad that I can not deliver as my body was designed to and scared about needing surgery. 

vlagroupie

I was in the same situation, DD did not want to flip and remained breech even after a painful version in the hospital. I cried so hard after that thinking that I failed and knew I would have to schedule a c section. I was scared about the surgery but also did not want to risk the health and safety of me and baby by attempting a vaginal birth. A friend tried to deliver her son breech and he got stuck in the birth canal and she needed an emergency c section, so to me there are just too many risks. You'll come to terms with it eventually, once baby is born nothing else will matter, don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. GL and happy delivery and recovery!

NicoleWI

My third baby was breech from the 20 week u/s on, so I had a c-section. Personally, I ended up loving it! I held the baby soon after, no issues breastfeeding, I wasn't exhausted when she arrived, and I had an EASIER recovery overall. I know it's hard to deal with the c-section news, but I just told myself that maybe this was the way it was supposed to happen (my prior births I had pushed a really long time and one was almost a c-section, so I had some fears already that another vaginal birth could end up a c-section anyway or result in complications). 

Everyone is so different. I know people who didn't even think labor was that bad. For me, labor SUCKED, especially with my first baby. It was crappy, scary, slow, and incredibly painful until I got the wonderful, magical epidural. You aren't necessarily missing a wonderful, moving experience by missing having contractions. It's totally true that all that matters is getting Baby out safely. The best moment with each child, by FAR, is when he/she is born and you get to see them and then hold them. The emotion of that moment was the same for me every time. Maybe even better with the c-section b/c I wasn't absolutely exhausted! Good luck.

harmonicbabe26

I am recovering from my second csection due to the SECOND frank breech baby. Must be something about my body that doesn't let them flip. We had a version with my first - it was NOT painful, but she didn't flip anyway.

I can tell you that recovering from a planned procedure is not a big deal! Just research what will happen during, talk to the doc who will do your surgery (if you know ahead of time who it will be), line up some help for a couple if weeks after, make some freezer meals, and stay positive!

I have this perspective as my first cs was overseas, closed with staples, no additional kid to take care of. This one was in the US, closed with stitches and glue, 3yo kid added in the mix. I'm saying I've seen many things in many way different places... No family could help either time, but we survived and all is good.

surpriseaddition

I've had both a vaginal birth and 2 CS.  My vaginal birth wasn't my dream birth, and I was hoping delivery #2 would be.  However, that ended up as a planned CS due to large size (9lb 12oz but the US was predicting much larger).  I was in tears and it took me time to come to terms about having a CS too.  I think moms have this ideal image of a perfect vaginal birth....but rarely is that the case.  Like PPs have said, keep your eye on the prize.  The important thing is bringing your baby into this world healthy.  Your LO will never know the difference.  My first two are 16 yo & 14 yo and I'm just as close to both of them, even though they were born two different ways.  GL!

Kim22

My first was also frank breech. We were waiting as long as possible to do the c section but I ended up in labor at 36 weeks 2 days. I was really sad for a while after even though the c and recovery were fine. I got over it by realizing that even if my baby had never been breech and I went for a vaginal delivery, there is no guarantee it would have not ended up a c section or a really terrible vaginal delivery.

I have since had 2 more c sections and my doctor cleared me for a fourth if I decide to have another.

Heathernewmommy

I found out two weeks ago that I am going to have to have a c section due to my son being too big for me to pass natrally, yes, I was upset, but my obgyn put it like this, he asked me would I rather take the chance of him getting stuck in the birth canile and risk loseing his and my life, he also said that more women now are having c sections due to this problem, just know that it is nothing you did wrong, its just how your baby desided to be, either breech or big, it does not mean you failed at anything.

EMLDF

The same thing happened to me and I was devastated for the last few weeks of my pregnancy. I really wanted a natural birth and my biggest fear in life is knives - haha.  Then... I had the c-section and it was the best thing ever! First of all, don't forget that you will be meeting your baby soon! And a planned c-section without labor makes for a much better recovery than unplanned or of course an emergency cs. 

My recovery was such a breeze I could not believe it. I was walking a few hours later, showered the next morning and never experienced much pain at the the incision. (Keep on your meds!!!) My DD breastfed easily and we were taking walks around the neighborhood one week later. Meanwhile, so many of my friends who've had vaginal deliveries have had nightmare recoveries. The only bummer was regretting wasting the last few weeks of my pregnancy being upset and nervous about nothing. 

I'm pregnant with #2 and am so conflicted re: VAC or repeat C. 

Congrats and good luck to you! 

KikiCohen

I had to have a c/s with DS, although for different medical reasons.  Basically I had a condition that restricted his growth and the plan was to go forward with an early induction and delivery.  When I had my final growth scan, my OB decided it was best to go for a c/s b/c she didn't think he would tolerate labor with his size.  So I literally knew I was having a c/s about 4 hours before it actually happened.

To be honest, I never felt any sadness or regret over it.  The medical issues my son faced after birth kept my mind off of it and I really do think my OB made the right call as he was born even smaller than predicted.  

My recovery went pretty smoothly, although I stopped taking my meds too early (I thought I didn't need them anymore) and ended up almost passing out from the pain.  So my advice is take your meds!

mamayo26

Maybe this will help you come to terms with this potential outcome:

 

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/kim-simon/10-ways-c-sections-and-vaginal-births-are-exactly-the-same_b_5863204.html?pbx=310&utm_source=popsugar.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=pubexchange_facebook

just remember that a healthy baby is the ultimate outcome no matter who he enters the world.

Chryssa-72603

I actually wasn't upset at all when I found out I had to have a c-section.  I just wanted a healthy baby who came out safely, so however that had to happen was fine with me.  The doctors actually commented that they were surprised that I was taking the news so calmly.  My advice is just to focus on the baby that you will have at the end of all this.    My c-section was totally fine.  I did have a reaction to the anesthesia that lasted for a couple of hours after birth, but the recovery was really easy.  I liked that I was able to enjoy the birth and my new baby without being torn up, sore, and exhausted.  The soreness obviously came later, but it took a while for the spinal to wear off.  I was able to really bond with my son right away without any distractions.  I know that a lot of women have bad experiences with a c-section, but it seems like this mostly happens when it is an emergency or after hours of being in labor.  A scheduled one is a totally different story.

SLGILL1978

I am a diabetic and I had a c section due to my blood sugars and stress on the baby. I was induced and I labored for 12 hours before my doctor ultimately decided to do the c section. I was nervous but calm as well. It was a very smooth process for me. My doctor talked about delivery a lot in my prenatal appts so I was prepared either way. I was actually more scared to have a vaginal delivery than the c section. My only birth "plan" was to have an epidural. I got it within 1-2 hours of being induced. Lol.. I am assuming that is what helped me being calm through the whole situation. I didn't even feel any pressure, pulling or tugging. I had my daughter in my arms within 45 mins while I was in recovery.

Good luck and Congratulations!

dancingmatilda

You are going to be a mom either way. My DD was complete breech. You do what you have to do. Good luck!

marym94

In case you are concerned about the recovery... My c-sec recovery was not bad at all and I held my baby and breastfed my baby and loved on my baby - just like he had been born vaginally.  I had my husband right there with me the whole time and I watched his face as his son came into the world and he looked down at me and told me it was a boy... it was all magical. and good thing bc I am about to do it again!

wlhudson727

Once your baby arrives you won't mind how LO was born. They are so awesome! I also had a frank breech baby throughout much of my pregnancy. My doc wouldn't attempt a manual turn because of the low possibility of being able to turn him and the high pain. Try to look at the bright side of c-section... Unless you labor earlier, you will know the exact date of LOs birth ahead of time, so you can plan for it. CS birth is less painful, too. I don't have anything to compare it to, as I only have one baby and he was my c-section, but personally labor terrified me! My best advice is to try to look at the bright side. I'm currently 4 months PP and my scar is already improved, and the pain went away long ago. The surgery is already a distant memory. Best of luck!

PhillyGal34

I'm right there with you. I'm 37.5 weeks pregnant with a son who won't flip. My first son was born at 31w5d vaginally and I really just wanted normal this time. I had a version yesterday and even though he moved he slipped right back to breech as soon as they let go. So we scheduled a c section. I cried. A lot. I feel like my body won't stop failing.


Today I realized that having a breech baby is normal. Many women who have totally normal pregnancies have c sections. So I'm coming to terms with it. I'm not excited. I mean it's surgery but it is what it is. I worry about how the recovery will be. Especially with my older son and not being able to pick him up but then I realize that that is my biggest problem and laugh. Last time it was spending almost a month in the nicu with a preemie and wondering when he would be home with us. So yeah. Perspective is key. It still sucks. But not as bad as if my body didn't carry to term again. So I'll take it. I'll take the pain so he doesn't have to.

kaynix21

I'm dealing with this too....mine is frank breech.

My doc wants to schedule a version for 36.5 weeks or will schedule a C section for 39 weeks. 

I'm not coping well. I don't want to deal with surgery recovery and everything that comes with it. It took years and medical intervention to get pregnant -- so I feel like I failure. It was such a rough time to get pregnant and now having a hard time here. I'm just so frustrated.

J0C0TX

@ kaynix21 - you are NOT a failure,  AT ALL.  Your body is just giving you grief.  It gives it to all of us in different ways.

Please don't think of yourself as a failure.  If anyone else was going through this you'd probably feel bad for them and wish them well in coming to terms with what's needed for their health and they health of their baby.  Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a stranger. 

I'm not saying a C-section is a walk in the park.  I thought I would walk at a 90 degree angle FOREVER after dd2.  It was allowed for about 5 minutes   But... if it means you and your baby have a safe delivery without additional complications it will be worth it.

However it goes, you are not a failure.  At the end of this you will be a momma and really, that is the goal here - that you are a momma. 

Please know I'm not discounting you feeling like a failure - I felt that way a long time ago in relation to my women's issues, so I truly get it!  I really do, but I hate that feeling for you and I want you to know that you and your baby will still have each other after the birth regardless of how baby arrives out.

kaynix21

Thank you @joco

J0C0TX

@ kaynix21 - I saw this article and thought of you!  Hope all is well.

 

https://www.cordmama.com/blog/2015/4/8/three-truths-about-c-section-mamas

ashleyahuff

I was releived to get a c section because of my fear of labor. My guy was breech and taken at 34 weeks due to my water breaking 2 days prior. After laying there for 2 days to give the steroids time to beef up His lungs, hearing him come out screaming was the biggest relief.

I didn't care how he came out! He was healthy and alive. I later learned an infection had begun because of the sac being open so long. He got out when he needed to.

After I felt I couldn't relate to my friends that's has a vaginal delivery. Their experiences were so full of pain and screaming and blood, and my husband and I were thinking how easy surgery was

Well 5 days later I can tell you recovery is not easy and my sons birth story makes up for his relatively painless entrance into the world.

As long as they are healthy and you feel you have a good team helping you manage pain and recovery, it shouldn't matter. Life rarely works out how you plan, but usually works out how it should.

Best advice I got- stay ahead with the drugs! Don't start running late taking your meds for the first few days because you think you feel better. You will get behind the pain and it's hard to catch up!