STMs: Acclimating toddler to baby

Anna48

Hi guys,
My DS is 2, and I'm wondering how I can best prepare him for the baby. (e.g. get a doll, talk/read about it etc.) Any insight would be greatly appreciated!

nykkybaby

I'm right there with you, looking forward to hearing some advice!

Jillibean68

I'm no expert since DS is 19 months, but so far we are talking about the new baby, we read books about becoming a big brother and just generally try to include him in talk of the new baby. I ask him if he wants a brother or sister, stuff like that. At this young age, I'm not sure how much you can 'prepare' a toddler for a new baby.

jeep1019

I was going to ask this also! My daughter is almost 3 and I have been showing her the clips on babycenter.com of baby's progress each week. She seems to love it, and will ask to watch the baby video. But I don't know if she connects it with me actually carrying a baby. I thought about getting a "big sister" book also.

Hawk&Eye

I'm glad you asked this! I'm hopeful things will go smooth. DS will be almost 4 in May. We've been reading big brother books, he's been to the first ultrasound and another check up. He talks to my belly and we include him in a lot of baby conversation. It's funny my friends little girl kept thinking her baby sister was a puppy and got pretty upset when the baby was born and wasn't a dog! It took a couple weeks but now they are inseparable. So I feel good knowing DS is at least expecting a baby!

sabriel1

With DD she was 2y3m when DS came along and it really wasn't much of an adjustment for her. To prepare her we just talked about the general idea that she was getting a baby brother soon and showed her his room, crib, etc. We were also given this book which was awesome:

https://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/product/9780763665449-item.html?s_campaign=goo-PLATest&gclid=Cj0KEQiAqYCkBRC4xNiSu5-Y-PcBEiQA96OM9PQsQCqYHkR8IMeCmSQ0Ky-J__c7qDKv1WDK5SSgs6waAtEq8P8HAQ

In the book the girl is giving her doll a bath, changing it's diaper etc and it is all very interactive (it has a little cloth diaper you change and everything, very cute). And we read it to her all the time.

When DS was born we had a little gift from him to her to make her feel special and honestly, she just pretended he didn't exist for the first month or so, I mean, a newborn is pretty boring. I made sure that when the baby was sleeping I was spending lots of special one on one time with her. She adjusted really well.

mpower0606

DD is 2.5 now and will turn 3 about 2 weeks after my due date. I'm very nervous about her getting jealous over the new baby so I'm trying to make it more about her. I tell her "you're going to be a great big sister. You're going to be mommys special helper. Mommys going to need your help changing the baby's diaper "(she's actually really excited about the diaper part).

She talks to my belly all the time-always says good night to "the sister or the brother".

I thought she was getting the whole idea until she asked me last week "what's the sister or the brothers mommy's name? What's the daddy's name?" Hmmm. Might be a little more challenging than I thought

Sarahbmcd

I'm a FTM but a nanny to a 3 year old and 9 month old. With the 3 year old we talked to him about being a big brother a lot and how his little sister was going to love him so much. Fortunately, I worked during the moms whole maternity leave. We were able to trade kids a lot so she could have a lot of alone time with him and so the baby could get used to me. I had both of them periodically so he could get used to me taking care of them both.

I feel like the biggest challenges were keeping him in his routine (moms parents were there for 2 wks right when baby was born) I wanted to make sure he still had to abide by the same rules (with a little leeway) but his grandma thought he should be able to do whatever he wanted. Another challenge was teaching him to be gentle. He's all boy, and gentle was never in his vocabulary.

He's amazing with her now and such a good big brother. When his mom is around when I'm there we do have to watch him around his sister bc he likes to do stuff to her to get attention. I'm sure that happens in homes without a nanny, but I feel like it may be more prevalent in homes that have one. He's never like that with just me, just when his mom comes in.

PutMeintheZoo

What a great topic... I'm definitely in need of this advice, too!  My DS is 3 and we're also nervous about introducing him to baby.  Looking forward to reading more advice from everyone.

I've been trying to emphasize that he'll be "mommy's special helper" too... 

Anna48

Thanks so much for the great advice!

manacita

Ds was only 18 months when we had dd, and I'm pretty sure he thought we got a new cat for the first two months.

But, in addition to the books, I recommend a cabbage patch doll. They're cheap on eBay and fit into newborn onesies and diapers. So your child can take care of their baby while you take care of yours.

CamoBride2010

DD will be 2.5 when the new baby comes. We've been playing with her dolls, talking about the baby in Mommy's tummy etc. She loves to go to "Mommy's belly, baby doctor" and she adores other babies so I'm not really worried. She will adjust and learn to love the baby. I'm the oldest of 5 and my mom never had issues with any of us and the little ones. I do plan to find some good picture books about having a new baby brother/sister, and we are taking her to the next ultra sound appointment. I'm honestly more concerned about what will happen when Mommy has to stay in the hospital over night, I'm not sure who will take the seperation harder, me or her.

mamadeuce

My DD is 5 she is really excited. We sat down and explained to her about the new baby and gave her to time to ask questions and make comments. She was excited from the very beginning. She rubs and kisses my belly a lot. Sometimes the baby gets a hug and a kiss before I do when I get home from work. One thing she likes is to know what I did when I was pregnant with her or when she was first born. It gives her something to build her comprehension on I think. I also have a stepdaughter she comes on the weekends and holidays. She is 7 now. She was less enthused. She was only worried if the baby will cry and wake her up at night lol but she getting more involved now. We ask them for name suggestions and themes for the nursery to make them feel more involved in the process.