TTCAL Discussion: Check Ins

PinkCamino

Here is a list of our current check-ins and threads that are posted on a weekly or bi-weekly basis.

- Crazy Train
- Multiple Loss Ladies
- Special Hugs
- EDD and Monthly check-ins
- Infertility
- AMA check in
- TTA check in
- LIW check in
- TP thread
- Healthy Living check in
- newbie check in

Now, after the pretty heavy discussions we've had this week I've been thinking about the checkins and what to do about the divide that they are inadvertently causing. If it were up to me I would do a moratorium on all the checkins save for the crazy train and special hugs but since we need to come to a consensus I figured I'd start the discussion.

My proposed suggestion is this:

• all the monthly check-ins, multiple loss, IF and AMA check in are posted once per month (Say the 1st of the month)
• newbie check-in - biweekly
• TP thread - weekly (one TP for the entire week that can be bumped as needed)
• special hugs - weekly as normal
• healthy living check in - weekly
• TTA check in- bi-weekly
• LIW - I say we can remove this but that's 100% my opinion.
• CT - I want to suggest that the crazy train become a communal effort by everyone, something like on TTGP. It can continue to be posted daily but everyone is invited to share their knowledge. Again 100% my opinion.
  

ellebelle2384

I only participate in the Special Hugs and Multiple Loss check-ins so I will only comment on those.

IMO Special Hugs should stay weekly. 

I would really really like Multiple Loss to be more than once a month though, as proposed above.  I think there's a lot going on for a lot of us and it is a very important check-in.  I look forward to it every week and checking in on everyone and have been missing it this week.  I think twice a month would be good though if we want to back away from weekly.

flyoffeve

On first read, I agree.

I think you are right on LIW. It feels like I should probably be on TTA instead and others should be wondering in the CT (and maybe something else?).

A thought about the newbie one: I wonder if it should be weekly because of all the newbies that join.

Thanks for getting the discussion started PC!

PinkCamino

ellebelle2384 said:

I only participate in the Special Hugs and Multiple Loss check-ins so I will only comment on those.

IMO Special Hugs should stay weekly. 

I would really really like Multiple Loss to be more than once a month though, as proposed above.  I think there's a lot going on for a lot of us and it is a very important check-in.  I look forward to it every week and checking in on everyone and have been missing it this week.  I think twice a month would be good though if we want to back away from weekly.

THe issue with this is that rarely does anyone who participate have HUGE updates to make on a weekly basis. I've been running it 2 weeks and already there are a good chunk of ladies who'll say they have nothing to update. Instead of just focusing on the MLL check-in it might give ladies the opportunity to interact with the whole board ya know? There are quite a few ladies with multiple losses who do not take part in MLL because they aren't a fan of check-ins.

ellebelle2384

PinkCamino said:

ellebelle2384 said:

I only participate in the Special Hugs and Multiple Loss check-ins so I will only comment on those.

IMO Special Hugs should stay weekly. 

I would really really like Multiple Loss to be more than once a month though, as proposed above.  I think there's a lot going on for a lot of us and it is a very important check-in.  I look forward to it every week and checking in on everyone and have been missing it this week.  I think twice a month would be good though if we want to back away from weekly.

THe issue with this is that rarely does anyone who participate have HUGE updates to make on a weekly basis. I've been running it 2 weeks and already there are a good chunk of ladies who'll say they have nothing to update. Instead of just focusing on the MLL check-in it might give ladies the opportunity to interact with the whole board ya know? There are quite a few ladies with multiple losses who do not take part in MLL because they aren't a fan of check-ins.

As the check-in leader I will defer to your judgment but to be honest this makes me sad and doesn't feel like a supportive change in direction for the board to be going in.

PinkCamino

flyoffeve said:

On first read, I agree.

I think you are right on LIW. It feels like I should probably be on TTA instead and others should be wondering in the CT (and maybe something else?).

A thought about the newbie one: I wonder if it should be weekly because of all the newbies that join.

Thanks for getting the discussion started PC!

I think having it be a weekly check-in is useful (newbie checkin) but then we fall into the caveat that some ladies will actually ONLY post in the newbie check-in. So, it's sort of a viscous cycle.

PinkCamino

ellebelle2384 said:

PinkCamino said:

ellebelle2384 said:

I only participate in the Special Hugs and Multiple Loss check-ins so I will only comment on those.

IMO Special Hugs should stay weekly. 

I would really really like Multiple Loss to be more than once a month though, as proposed above.  I think there's a lot going on for a lot of us and it is a very important check-in.  I look forward to it every week and checking in on everyone and have been missing it this week.  I think twice a month would be good though if we want to back away from weekly.

THe issue with this is that rarely does anyone who participate have HUGE updates to make on a weekly basis. I've been running it 2 weeks and already there are a good chunk of ladies who'll say they have nothing to update. Instead of just focusing on the MLL check-in it might give ladies the opportunity to interact with the whole board ya know? There are quite a few ladies with multiple losses who do not take part in MLL because they aren't a fan of check-ins.

As the check-in leader I will defer to your judgment but to be honest this makes me sad and doesn't feel like a supportive change in direction for the board to be going in.

what?

ellebelle2384

PinkCamino said:

As the check-in leader I will defer to your judgment but to be honest this makes me sad and doesn't feel like a supportive change in direction for the board to be going in.

what?

I'm not sure what is unclear.  Correct me if I'm wrong but the point of this discussion is as a result of some productive conversations yesterday and today about how to make the board a safe and supportive space.  To me the MLL Check-In is a safe space where I can connect with ladies who are experiencing similar things.  Reducing that support makes me feel less safe and supported.  Does that make sense?  Feel free to PM me if you still have questions.

flyoffeve

mlal78 said:

I agree with this. I would also add that for the newbie check in, members should post there for a maximum of one month and then start posting on the main board.

The newbie check in was originally created to help new members navigate the board, learn about etiquette, and ask questions that they think may be silly.  It was never intended to be  a long term thing.

You know, I have actually been wondering what the appropriate way was to step away. And, even if it is appropriate. I am over this one month idea to be on the newbie check-in notion. I have actually been thinking about it for a few weeks.

The things holding me back are 1) @rslh10 is so supportive in the thread (which I am sure she and others would (and are) still be so on the main board, so probably a wash reason), and 2) I am new to charting, so it is a place I can get feedback on my newbness on that.

So, what does one do? PM the leader? Or say it in a post one week?

bunnybun4

I also wish that multiple loss should be more than once a month. Even when most don't have an update it is helpful to be able to vent out a bad week...I also like keeping up with where everyone is. That check in has really been helpful for me.

PinkCamino

ellebelle2384 said:

PinkCamino said:

As the check-in leader I will defer to your judgment but to be honest this makes me sad and doesn't feel like a supportive change in direction for the board to be going in.

what?

I'm not sure what is unclear.  Correct me if I'm wrong but the point of this discussion is as a result of some productive conversations yesterday and today about how to make the board a safe and supportive space.  To me the MLL Check-In is a safe space where I can connect with ladies who are experiencing similar things.  Reducing that support makes me feel less safe and supported.  Does that make sense?  Feel free to PM me if you still have questions.

I'm not sure why you're getting so upset.

Why couldn't you bump up the check-in from that month if you want to discuss? I'm not sure what the purpose of having four instead of onw check-in for the month of december for example would change vis a vis the quality of support you are getting or giving?

PinkCamino

bunnybun4 said:

I also wish that multiple loss should be more than once a month. Even when most don't have an update it is helpful to be able to vent out a bad week...I also like keeping up with where everyone is. That check in has really been helpful for me.

fair enough but why is it necessary to vent out a bad week in the MLL check in? and not say to the board to get support from everyone?

megrae12

flyoffeve said:

mlal78 said:

I agree with this. I would also add that for the newbie check in, members should post there for a maximum of one month and then start posting on the main board.

The newbie check in was originally created to help new members navigate the board, learn about etiquette, and ask questions that they think may be silly.  It was never intended to be  a long term thing.

You know, I have actually been wondering what the appropriate way was to step away. And, even if it is appropriate. I am over this one month idea to be on the newbie check-in notion. I have actually been thinking about it for a few weeks.

The things holding me back are 1) @rslh10 is so supportive in the thread (which I am sure she and others would (and are) still be so on the main board, so probably a wash reason), and 2) I am new to charting, so it is a place I can get feedback on my newbness on that.

So, what does one do? PM the leader? Or say it in a post one week?

@flyoffeve Just say it in a check in. That is it. As far as the charting stuff the CT is a great place to get advice, etc. 

flyoffeve

ktlovess said:

flyoffeve said:

On first read, I agree.

I think you are right on LIW. It feels like I should probably be on TTA instead and others should be wondering in the CT (and maybe something else?).

A thought about the newbie one: I wonder if it should be weekly because of all the newbies that join.

Thanks for getting the discussion started PC!

@flyoffeve - I don't think that the LIW check in should be with the TTA check in... on LIW, there are women waiting for BFPs, waiting to O etc. As someone who is TTA and has been for a while, that's a hard thing to see written about. 

I have never thought that the LIW check in exist. If you are waiting to O or for a BFP, the crazy train is fine. If you are benched, or waiting to TTC, the TTA check in applies.

We are on the same page. I joined LIW because I am benched for 3 cycles, so "waiting." I find that thread difficult because there are others waiting for other things like O and 2WW.

flyoffeve

megrae12 said:

flyoffeve said:

mlal78 said:

I agree with this. I would also add that for the newbie check in, members should post there for a maximum of one month and then start posting on the main board.

The newbie check in was originally created to help new members navigate the board, learn about etiquette, and ask questions that they think may be silly.  It was never intended to be  a long term thing.

You know, I have actually been wondering what the appropriate way was to step away. And, even if it is appropriate. I am over this one month idea to be on the newbie check-in notion. I have actually been thinking about it for a few weeks.

The things holding me back are 1) @rslh10 is so supportive in the thread (which I am sure she and others would (and are) still be so on the main board, so probably a wash reason), and 2) I am new to charting, so it is a place I can get feedback on my newbness on that.

So, what does one do? PM the leader? Or say it in a post one week?

@flyoffeve Just say it in a check in. That is it. As far as the charting stuff the CT is a great place to get advice, etc. 

Thank you.

PinkCamino

bluedaisy0627 said:

The February check-in ladies have made some changes in the last few months. Before I became the check-in leader, we decided to go to every other week. We like that because we feel like usually have something to say. We also recently switched days because there were a LOT of check-ins the former day and it tended to get lost. Rather than check-ins all the same day, especially if they are once a month, could we spread them out?

Yeah for sure! I guess anytime during the month assuming it's consistently at the same time from one month to the next would work!

PinkCamino

momentomori said:

SNIP

Why couldn't you bump up the check-in from that month if you want to discuss? I'm not sure what the purpose of having four instead of onw check-in for the month of december for example would change vis a vis the quality of support you are getting or giving?

This just made me think of something.  I think there is a potential issue where a member will bump the thread up 20 days after it is posted and not wait for the new month.  There could be members that have graduated with tickers by then.  I am OK with tickers, but it may be painful for someone else to see.  

With that in mind, how old of a post is OK to bump?  A week?

Thanks!

This is very true and I had not thought of it so thanks for bringing it up!. Having said that there is an "understanding" that when someone moves to PGAL they generally don't update their siggy immediately. But, we can't force people to respect that because ultimately it's their decision so I'm not sure how we would deal with this.

Menrandes

Generally, I am supportive of this idea.  I usually participate in the month check-ins and the Healthy living check-in and occasionally the CT.  The Healthy Living check-in has been a life saver, and the month check-in was helpful at first, but now that almost everyone in the check-in had a due date of 2015, I'm finding myself more disconnected from it.  ( @Km380...love you, you're awesome at what you do, disconnect definitely has nothing to do with you!)
But I will say that it has been important to me that the Healthy Living check in be twice a week. More than once it has helped me be accountable.
But all in all, :-bd
I think this plan will help people out of their check-in comfort zones, which is a very good thing IMO. 

megrae12

@LDubHawksFan I have been toying with bringing it up in discussion to move the IF check in to bi-weekly. It's crazy this time of year for me, so doing this will help. 

BookishMomma

Overall, I agree with cutting down on the check-ins, as I think they can end up inhibiting people from participating on the main board. I agree with @ellebelle2384 about having the MLL check-in more frequently than once a month. The Multiple Loss check-in is a lifeline for me. I would miss it if it were not posted every week. Especially since a lot of the ladies in there are in limbo about their TTC status and might not feel comfortable posting on the CT thread because they are not really "cycling" in the TTC sense. I, for one, am comfortable posting a new thread on the main board about stuff that doesn't really fit in a check-in but I want to put out there (hence my AW post this morning). But I bet not everyone feels as comfortable doing so. I worry that some of our MLL ladies will pull back from the board and not participate as much without the check-in to keep them moored. This could be totally unwarranted paranoia, but nonetheless it is a worry I have. I am more than willing to be a co-leader of the check-in if that would help. Totally not trying to step on your toes, @pinkcamino, as you are a fab leader. I just know I hate it when people give ideas that create more work, but then aren't willing to do the work themselves, a la The Little Red Hen.

edit- typo

PinkCamino

BookishMomma said:

Overall, I agree with cutting down on the check-ins, as I think they can end up inhibiting people from participating on the main board. I agree with @ellebelle2384 about having the MLL check-in more frequently than once a month. The Multiple Loss check-in is a lifeline for me. I would miss it if it were not posted every week. Especially since a lot of the ladies in there are in limbo about their TTC status and might not feel comfortable posting on the CT thread because they are not really "cycling" in the TTC sense. I, for one, am comfortable posting a new thread on the main board about stuff that doesn't really fit in a check-in but I want to put out there (hence my AW post this morning). But I bet not everyone feels as comfortable doing so. I worry that some of our MLL ladies will pull back from the board and not participate as much without the check-in to keep them moored. This could be totally unwarranted paranoia, but nonetheless it is a worry I have. I am more than willing to be a co-leader of the check-in if that would help. Totally not trying to step on your toes, @pinkcamino, as you are a fab leader. I just know I hate it when people give ideas that create more work, but then aren't willing to do the work themselves, a la The Little Red Hen.

edit- typo

Although I agree with you I worry about the opposite problem. What about the ladies who post exclusively in the check-in and don't post on the main board? By having the check-in available to them on a weekly or biweekly basis we're not addressing the real issue here. People are not comfortable posting on the main board because they stick to their respective check-ins only, if we continue to give them that opportunity we'll never overcome the problem we're starting with.

Maybe we can try a trial of monthly check-ins and then re-evaluate and see how it's going?

BookishMomma

furrypaws said:

bunnybun4 said:

I also wish that multiple loss should be more than once a month. Even when most don't have an update it is helpful to be able to vent out a bad week...I also like keeping up with where everyone is. That check in has really been helpful for me.

Me too. Maybe biweekly...?

I would be OK with bi-weekly as a middle ground between just once a month and weekly for MLL.

PinkCamino

BookishMomma said:

furrypaws said:

bunnybun4 said:

I also wish that multiple loss should be more than once a month. Even when most don't have an update it is helpful to be able to vent out a bad week...I also like keeping up with where everyone is. That check in has really been helpful for me.

Me too. Maybe biweekly...?

I would be OK with bi-weekly as a middle ground between just once a month and weekly for MLL.

Also, in all fairness to the IF and AMA ladies why should MLL be bi-weekly and not the others?

alm288

I do like the May check-in . . . I would prefer to have it every other week and not once a month. It's hard to keep up with every single person on the board, but I feel like I can at least keep up with the May ladies. Just my opinion.

rmpar29

I find that the weekly month check-in is somewhat repetitive, but I think just once a month might be an issue.  I think bi-weekly might work better for the purposes of keeping up-to-date and also to avoid some of the ticker issues.  It could still be an issue, but I think that it would fall on the leader and the particular graduate to mitigate that issue. 

I agree with keeping the Newbie check-in to a period of time.  I stayed there for 3 months because I loved @gscoville, but I think most newbies would been fine on the board after a month or two. 

It would be wonderful if there was another section that all check-ins could be listed, but I don't think that's possible. 

Thanks for bringing up the convo @PinkCamino!

bunnybun4

PinkCamino said:

bunnybun4 said:

I also wish that multiple loss should be more than once a month. Even when most don't have an update it is helpful to be able to vent out a bad week...I also like keeping up with where everyone is. That check in has really been helpful for me.

fair enough but why is it necessary to vent out a bad week in the MLL check in? and not say to the board to get support from everyone?

I have seen people vent out a bad day before on the board and someone usher them to TP or CT...a lot of people say they don't want the board cluttered with negativity...and I get that. MLL is a smaller group of ladies that I am familiar with their back stories and know they know what it is like to just repeatedly get bad news. I also have posted stuff on there that medically someone else had been through the exact same thing and gave me excellent advice....if I had posted it on a generic weekly thread that person would not necessarily have seen it.

PinkCamino

mlal78 said:

This is absolutely not singling anyone in particular out, just a general callout.

I think that the people who strictly post in checkins and never on the main board (own thread or in response to others) are being selfish.  They are taking from the board, they are taking from the check in and they are not giving anything back.

Our community has always run on give support to get support.  Some people have niched themselves in to one small little group and take (and maybe give some) support there.  But they are depriving the rest of the community from that extra support.

I don't feel like those people really are "part of the community" and it really irks me when they move on to pgal and claim to be moving over from ttcal when really, they are not.  They are moving over from a check in.  A check in is not the ttcal community.

To add to this:

Me discussing and bringing up this topic isn't about preventing support or stopping it in any shape or form. There are ladies here who consciously choose not to take part in check-ins for personal reasons and as a result do not benefit from the same support the ladies who take part in check-ins do.

It might seem that I'm advocating and end to all check ins but that's not it. I feel that keeping the check ins as they are creates a certain divide between the board members. I find it really interesting that certain ladies feel compelled to vent in the MLL, or IF or AMA check in but don't feel comfortable doing so to the main board.

TTCAL is really led by example. If those vents, those call outs for support are exclusively contained to check ins it gives the impression that posting on the main board is unacceptable in some way which is entirely not the case.

My goal here was not prevent anyone from getting the support they need but maybe opening up that support on a board wide level where eventually (hopefully) everyone will feel comfortable discussing where they are in their journey and not have any reservations sharing it with the entire community.

PinkCamino

bunnybun4 said:

PinkCamino said:

bunnybun4 said:

I also wish that multiple loss should be more than once a month. Even when most don't have an update it is helpful to be able to vent out a bad week...I also like keeping up with where everyone is. That check in has really been helpful for me.

fair enough but why is it necessary to vent out a bad week in the MLL check in? and not say to the board to get support from everyone?

I have seen people vent out a bad day before on the board and someone usher them to TP or CT...a lot of people say they don't want the board cluttered with negativity...and I get that. MLL is a smaller group of ladies that I am familiar with their back stories and know they know what it is like to just repeatedly get bad news. I also have posted stuff on there that medically someone else had been through the exact same thing and gave me excellent advice....if I had posted it on a generic weekly thread that person would not necessarily have seen it.

You're absolutely right that certain ladies have been told to take their vents to the TP thread - I 100% disagree with that most of the time. I guess it's a question of common sense right? If you're venting because you got hit in the ass by a stroller then maybe that's not the best thing to start a new thread about. BUT, when it comes to vents about your journey, your experiences and your medical issues then you are 100% entitled to post that on the main board. I'm sure there is more than one lady who may not be a member of MLL who has insight and support to share with you.

PinkCamino

PetraStonegirl said:

PinkCamino said:

BookishMomma said:

Overall, I agree with cutting down on the check-ins, as I think they can end up inhibiting people from participating on the main board. I agree with @ellebelle2384 about having the MLL check-in more frequently than once a month. The Multiple Loss check-in is a lifeline for me. I would miss it if it were not posted every week. Especially since a lot of the ladies in there are in limbo about their TTC status and might not feel comfortable posting on the CT thread because they are not really "cycling" in the TTC sense. I, for one, am comfortable posting a new thread on the main board about stuff that doesn't really fit in a check-in but I want to put out there (hence my AW post this morning). But I bet not everyone feels as comfortable doing so. I worry that some of our MLL ladies will pull back from the board and not participate as much without the check-in to keep them moored. This could be totally unwarranted paranoia, but nonetheless it is a worry I have. I am more than willing to be a co-leader of the check-in if that would help. Totally not trying to step on your toes, @pinkcamino, as you are a fab leader. I just know I hate it when people give ideas that create more work, but then aren't willing to do the work themselves, a la The Little Red Hen.

edit- typo

Although I agree with you I worry about the opposite problem. What about the ladies who post exclusively in the check-in and don't post on the main board? By having the check-in available to them on a weekly or biweekly basis we're not addressing the real issue here. People are not comfortable posting on the main board because they stick to their respective check-ins only, if we continue to give them that opportunity we'll never overcome the problem we're starting with.

Maybe we can try a trial of monthly check-ins and then re-evaluate and see how it's going?

I think a month is a long damn time between checkins, but I adamantly agree with you about making it too easy for people to restrict themselves to their check-ins. This is why I think a universal check in day would be better. Say, on Mondays every checkin is posted and everyone goes to their corner, but for the rest of the week there are no checkins at all. TTCAL does not exist if you aren't willing to play with the entire board.

Fair enough. Although the caveat with that is that ladies who stick exclusively to check-ins may potentially bump them up all week long which will create the same problem.

Maybe scaling back to bi-weekly with certain check-ins posted one week and the balance the other week might work.

BookishMomma

PinkCamino said:

Also, in all fairness to the IF and AMA ladies why should MLL be bi-weekly and not the others?

I also think AMA and IF would be appropriate for more frequent check-ins, too, assuming the leaders and participants of those boards are up for it. I jumped in about the MLL thing because others were already discussing it. But I think AMA (which I'm a participant in) and IF are similar to MLL in that there are a lot of people on those threads that have been around a while and they are a close-knit subgroup that might like more frequent check-ins, like twice monthly instead of once. 

buggirl72

PinkCamino said:

momentomori said:

SNIP

Why couldn't you bump up the check-in from that month if you want to discuss? I'm not sure what the purpose of having four instead of onw check-in for the month of december for example would change vis a vis the quality of support you are getting or giving?

This just made me think of something.  I think there is a potential issue where a member will bump the thread up 20 days after it is posted and not wait for the new month.  There could be members that have graduated with tickers by then.  I am OK with tickers, but it may be painful for someone else to see.  

With that in mind, how old of a post is OK to bump?  A week?

Thanks!

This is very true and I had not thought of it so thanks for bringing it up!. Having said that there is an "understanding" that when someone moves to PGAL they generally don't update their siggy immediately. But, we can't force people to respect that because ultimately it's their decision so I'm not sure how we would deal with this.


I think avoiding bumping up an old post is a better policy. What's the point of sayng a check-in is going to be posted once per month if people are just going to keep bumping it up every few days for an entire month?

PinkCamino

buggirl72 said:

momentomori said:

SNIP

Why couldn't you bump up the check-in from that month if you want to discuss? I'm not sure what the purpose of having four instead of onw check-in for the month of december for example would change vis a vis the quality of support you are getting or giving?

This just made me think of something.  I think there is a potential issue where a member will bump the thread up 20 days after it is posted and not wait for the new month.  There could be members that have graduated with tickers by then.  I am OK with tickers, but it may be painful for someone else to see.  

With that in mind, how old of a post is OK to bump?  A week?

Thanks!

This is very true and I had not thought of it so thanks for bringing it up!. Having said that there is an "understanding" that when someone moves to PGAL they generally don't update their siggy immediately. But, we can't force people to respect that because ultimately it's their decision so I'm not sure how we would deal with this.

I think avoiding bumping up an old post is a better policy. What's the point of sayng a check-in is going to be posted once per month if people are just going to keep bumping it up every few days for an entire month?

Right.

I feel like this conversation is going in circles.

The whole point was to have people post on the main board and not rely on the check-ins exclusively.

adagiomo

I like the idea of limiting the amount of time spent on the newbie board (like posting for a month or so).  It was a great place for me to start posting (plus @rslh10 is so wonderful and supportive). By limiting the time on there, it might also keep the check in from getting huge with all the new people.

I also like the idea of reducing the number of check ins, or their frequency.  As a new person, I was a little lost on which ones I should be jumping into other than the newbie board since there seemed to be so many.   

MrsOscarFelix

I really like the idea of one month cut off for the newbie check-in personally. I think the issue is that people are unsure of when to leave because they still consider themselves new to the board. I think would solve the issue of newbies being nervous to post and interact with older members of the board. I use the board to check-In with the other newbies but direct my TTC/cycle questions to the CT. I started posting in the LIW thread because I felt like I sat on the CT too often - but if we direct everyone there then I think we could definitely do without the LIW.

PinkCamino

MrsOscarFelix said:

I really like the idea of one month cut off for the newbie check-in personally. I think the issue is that people are unsure of when to leave because they still consider themselves new to the board. I think would solve the issue of newbies being nervous to post and interact with older members of the board. I use the board to check-In with the other newbies but direct my TTC/cycle questions to the CT. I started posting in the LIW thread because I felt like I sat on the CT too often - but if we direct everyone there then I think we could definitely do without the LIW.

It makes me so sad that as a newer member you feel like you have to find the right check-in.

Frenchteachermama

As former a check-in leader of the March ladies, MLL, and IF checkins I have to say that I love them being weekly.  In the past 14 months that I've been a part of this board there have definitely been times when I didn't have the time to be as active as I've wanted to, but I love the check-ins and getting to know everyone better.  I do think that every week is sometimes slow for some groups.  IMO I would like to see the EDD and Monthly check-ins, MLL, and IF to be at least every other week.  

buggirl72

Sterling13 said:

PetraStonegirl said:

I think some of the issue with check-ins is that once you start down the check -in road, people think you need a check-in for everything or it is a AW to post something independant. Plus, people begin to compartmentalize. For example, Laidies in Waiting used to be the place that ladies got their 2WW crazy worked out, but a couple years ago, someone thought that 2WW crazy was so radically different than OPK crazy that it needed it's own check-in.( *See ETA.)I guess what I'm saying is that getting rid of LIW kills off the original check-in for dealing with all, kinds of crazy, leaving only the splinter check-in.

I am all for instituting a Check-in Day. One day a week where check-ins are held, so that you can reconnect with your particular subset of people. But, that the rest of the week encourages board wide interactions. If we wanted themes, fine, continue with TOTH Tuesday, CPW, etc. Most important, AWs can go back to being self-labled for 'brag' type posts, and if someone needs to post for support or advice, they don't have to feel like labeling themselves an attention whore to do it. I've really been cringing at some of the calls for help that ladies have felt they need to label AW, because it wasn't going in a check-in.

ETA: actually, now that I think about it, CT was a defense mechanism from an oldie, when we had a shit ton of particularly crazy 2WW 'symptom watcher' types flood the board all at once. Sorry for the misrepresentation there.

So much this. The idea that everything goes in a check in or you're AW is a really stark dichotomy. Needing support =\= being an AW.

Love all of this.

The checking were a good idea but they are killing the board - trust me when I say that two years ago we did not have "slow" board issued where there would be only one or two new non-checkin type posts a day.

Nikolie93

So much already said! 

I think I was different than most in that I actually started to participate in the main board before I started to go to any check in's. Now I go to a few and as much as I love them and the ladies in them, I like getting to know and participating with everyone on the board. 

I really do think that it's important to get more people involved in the main board though. It's sad that not everyone is  

The biggest thing I would like to see stay weekly is the healthy living check in as that helps me tremendously. 

As important as my EDD's are to me I find I need the most support when the month approaches and maybe the month after but I am not sure about weekly. 

ETA: to add I think it's a really good idea to try and get the newbies out of that newbie thread so they don't stay in there too long! 

rmpar29

PetraStonegirl said:

* SNIP

I am advocating a specific day (say Monday) where all of the various check-ins are posted, or better yet, make all check-ins biweekly, and post half A the first Monday of the month,  half B the second, half A on the third, and half B on the fourth. But, the rest of the days of the week have no check-ins started. This means that if you come to TTCAL on a random Thursday and want to participate, the only new threads and discussions are board-wide ones.

I am loving this idea!

negritosmami

havent gotten a chance to get to page 3 yet as im limited in my bump time at work but i just want to chime in and say i loooove newbie  check in. I dont know at what point i wont be a newbie(been here since august) but im dreading the day i will have to leave it cause i love the smaller group...but i also go on the main board as well. i think its messed up people only stick to check ins!!but there is something so comforting about seeing the same small group of names and having that inidividual check in that @rslh10 does. just feels like EXTRA supportive and i love it..once i leave newbie checkin (other than feb which i also love and truly appreciate) i wont really have that "special treatment if you will..like someone cares specifically about me...and right now with everyone in my reali life electing to ignore my loss and pretend it didnt happen, it just feels sooo awesome to have someone ask HOW ARE YOU DOING!! it seems spoiled but its truly healing for me!

eliida

Just to throw one more vote in the hat...

I like bi-weekly for the month check-ins and weekly for the TP.

And just to be a special snowflake, while I absolutely agree with all of you that participating in the check-ins alone is not showing support to the greater community, sometimes it's all someone can do.

When I first joined the board I had extremely limited internet (living in a still developing part of South America) and I didn't have the option of logging on every day. Check-ins allowed me to be a part of the board in a consistent way. I know of other ladies who because of work commitments, etc are in a similar situation. No, at that time I didn't make nearly as valuable contributions as other members, but I did the very best I could. It meant/means a lot to me that I had the opportunity to still be a part of the board, even if not as a full member (so to speak).

Again, super special snowflakeness, I know.