~~~ October Angel Mamas' Check-In 12/3/14 ~~~

meredithcarole

Welcome to the October Check-In. This check-in is for anyone who has had a loss with an EDD in October.  

 

Members, give us an update on how you are doing. If I didn’t tag you with specific questions, it’s only because we didn’t hear from you last week (or for a few weeks) - please jump back in. Please pop in and let us know how you’re doing even if you don’t have time to respond to everyone individually this week! New members, introduce yourself so that we can get to know you.

If you get a BFP, please PM me so everyone can congratulate you!

Quote of the Week:

"Kindness in words creates confidence.

Kindness in thinking creates profoundness.

Kindness in giving creates love."

~ Lao Tzu

Question of the Week:

At this time of year I think we tend to focus more on others ('tis the season of giving after all);

do you have a charity or any sort of philanthropy you like to participate in?

----------------------

Updates:

@Stephy1221- How are you this week?  I am guessing AF showed?  Sorry

@Momentomori- Did you get the results of H's SA?  Looks like you are gearing up to O (maybe already did?), how are you feeling about things?

@daystardreams - Looks like you got your OPKs in time  I hope you are doing alright.  I know there has been a lot going on in your world.  

@mkfish31 - How's the 2WW so far?

@vesperlynch - Anything new?  How's the grading going?  Are you ready for winter break?

@whitneyandconcep - Did you see the doctor?  What's the prognosis?  Also, I hope you are feeling a bit more comfortable in the community at large.  It can be very intimidating when you are new, but I think you're doing just  fine.  

@yorkielove83 - How are you feeling this week?  You've been on my mind.  I hope the new house is providing you with a much needed distraction.

Anyone else who missed the last check-in, jump back in with an update!!!

meredithcarole

Happy Wednesday everyone!  

I am sorry I am late with the check in this week.  Time has gotten away from me a bit.

I don't have much new to report.  I am, of course, still on the bench.  I have about 2 weeks until my surgery.  I am on and off nervous.  I certainly hope it goes smoothly so I am trying not to dwell. 

As for the new job, I am still learning the ropes.  There is a lot to take in and I think I am getting a little more comfortable with it.  There is a lot of moving around (walking) and that is great because I think I have gained about 7 or 8 pounds in the past month.  Blah.  

Anyway, I hope all is well with you.  I look forward to hearing your updates.  

renegadewhit

@meredithcarole‌ thank for the check-in. It sounds like you've got a lot going on, and I appreciate you taking the time to be our leader. I'm glad your new position seems to be going well.

The doctor was great. After getting some great advice from the ladies on this board with PCOS experience, I asked to be referred to an RE and for a referral. She said that there were things her office could do, but if they didn't work I would be going to an RE anyway, and since I already have a diagnosis, she was ok sending me straight there. There's an RE in the next building over from her office that's in the same hospital system, and they work closely together often, so I'm going to him.

I got scheduled with the RE on Tuesday of next week, which I thought was so quick! I was mentally preparing to wait a few months, so fortunately that won't be the case. I started taking progesterone on Tuesday to jump start AF, and if I hit CD1 before my RE appointment, they said I could call and get the lab order for CD3 testing.

As for stepping out on the board, I'm glad I'm getting out there. I'm still not 100% sure I'm not saying the wrong things, but I hope if I do offend someone they'll let me know directly so I can fix it in the future. Sorry that was so long!

renegadewhit

@momentomori it sounds like you've got a really good attitude about all that's going on. I'm sorry your husband is having a hard time. FX that your husband gets good info at his appointment and that it'll help him feel better. 

stephy1221

@meredithcarole thanks for the check in. FX for you on waiting out surgery and getting the hang of the new job. 

whitneyandconcep good luck with the RE

momentomori hugs.FX a good plan for H is in play soon.

As for me yes AF showed up so what can ya do, keep trucking along for now.Work has been super hectic and between that and the holidays I am feeling frazzled. I went to a running clinic tonight with my friend and after we went out for a cookie and hot cocoa and it felt so good just to get a break from it all. 

QOTW: Every year H's work does an adopt a family event that we participate in. This year the big gift was for a 6yr old who wanted a bike. We usually get a thank you note from the family which adds that element of personalization which is nice but obviously not why we do it.

meredithcarole

whitneyandconcep said:

@meredithcarole‌ thank for the check-in. It sounds like you've got a lot going on, and I appreciate you taking the time to be our leader. I'm glad your new position seems to be going well. The doctor was great. After getting some great advice from the ladies on this board with PCOS experience, I asked to be referred to an RE and for a referral. She said that there were things her office could do, but if they didn't work I would be going to an RE anyway, and since I already have a diagnosis, she was ok sending me straight there. There's an RE in the next building over from her office that's in the same hospital system, and they work closely together often, so I'm going to him. I got scheduled with the RE on Tuesday of next week, which I thought was so quick! I was mentally preparing to wait a few months, so fortunately that won't be the case. I started taking progesterone on Tuesday to jump start AF, and if I hit CD1 before my RE appointment, they said I could call and get the lab order for CD3 testing. As for stepping out on the board, I'm glad I'm getting out there. I'm still not 100% sure I'm not saying the wrong things, but I hope if I do offend someone they'll let me know directly so I can fix it in the future. Sorry that was so long!

I am glad you got on the progesterone and that you were able to get an RE appointment so quickly! I hope you get some good advice and answers from him.

As for being afraid of saying the wrong thing, to be honest there are still times I worry that I will, too. Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there (it's never a bad idea to read over your comment once or twice before sending, though ).

meredithcarole

momentomori said:

Thanks for the check-in @meredithcarole.  Good to hear that things are going pretty well in the new position!!  I'll be thinking about you around the time of your surgery!!

AFM:  Yes, we got the results back.  Low count/low motility  MH is having a hard time dealing with it.  He will go to see a reproductive urologist.  On CD1 I am supposed to schedule an SHG, and now I am wavering on that.  On the one hand, more information is better!!  On the other hand, we just found out about H, so should we focus on that first?  He has a lot stacked up against him, so I think there is a chance that some lifestyle changes on his end could improve things greatly (that is speculation since he hasn't seen the doctor yet).  

I think I O'ed 2 days ago.  After the SA results and poor timing I am not very hopeful this month.  But, I actually don't feel horrible about it.  

((hugs)) to all of us as the holidays come up!

I am sorry about H's SA results, but I can understand why you'd be relieved not bearing the sole medical burden for cause. As for the SHG, I personally would because I would want to know, but it may be totally unnecessary. That's a tough one....

meredithcarole

stephy1221 said:

@meredithcarole thanks for the check in. FX for you on waiting out surgery and getting the hang of the new job. 

whitneyandconcep good luck with the RE

momentomori hugs.FX a good plan for H is in play soon.

As for me yes AF showed up so what can ya do, keep trucking along for now.Work has been super hectic and between that and the holidays I am feeling frazzled. I went to a running clinic tonight with my friend and after we went out for a cookie and hot cocoa and it felt so good just to get a break from it all. 

QOTW: Every year H's work does an adopt a family event that we participate in. This year the big gift was for a 6yr old who wanted a bike. We usually get a thank you note from the family which adds that element of personalization which is nice but obviously not why we do it.

I am glad you got out this evening and had fun. Sorry you're feeling frazzled.

I think "adopt a family" is a nice thing to do. We usually do the Angel Tree which is similar.

stephy1221

VesperLynch Big Hugs, that is a tough call to make. It sounds like you have a good outlook on it all though.

The running clinic was a good form running to prevent injury. It was free at out local running store so figured why not. 

meredithcarole

VesperLynch said:

@meredithcarole - thanks for checking in with us! Boy, does time ever fly this time of the year...absolutely no worries. I'm sorry that thoughts about the surgery are going to overshadow the next few weeks. Keeping my fingers crossed for you and sending calm thoughts. It sounds though as if the new job is a much-needed distraction. I really want to ask this...you can laugh at me...I read Kitchen Confidential years ago and have ever since wondered: are all restaurant kitchens rough and loud-mouthed environments, or does it, as so many things, depend?


AFM, things are starting to wind down at work. I'm doing okay with grading--some stuff I have to plow through this weekend, and I think I'll just take today off completely and focus on that tomorrow. Everyone around me seems to be sick, and as I can feel the exhaustion sink in from a demanding second half of the semester, I hope I won't catch that cold/flu or whatever it is. So last night, after tidying up, I poured the biggest scotch I could muster and watched a movie that's been gathering dust ("The Social Network") and then slept for a whopping 10 hours. Still tired today but somehow much better! Much to do here as my family is scheduled to arrive in a week and a half.

On the TTCAL front (I cross-posted on AMA), I've called it. Post-loss, we've had a total of 6 months NTNP, 4 of those very active, and 2 months of very active TTC. If I was more serious about this, the next step would fertility treatments or an RE referral, but I've long decided against both. I just want to TTA from now on simply because the likelihood of a successful P at 41 is even lower than it was a year ago, and other risks go up as well...it will be very weird to use any form of BC again. I think I'll always have a remainder of doubt if waiting so long to TTC was the wrong thing to do, but I'm happy with the rest of my life, so I can't have too many regrets. I'll have sad moments or maybe days, but it will be okay. I'm gonna stop here because I'm starting to ramble now...


QOTW: We always give to a listener-supported classical radio station and to the university where I got my masters (though this is ot always tied to the holidays). At work, there are so many projects to support around the holidays...one program always has an "angel tree," and I usually pick one angel and buy the things on the tag.

Wow, sounds like that Scotch and the 10 hours of sleep were much needed!

I know I already said it, but I am glad you are overall happy with where you are in your life and the choice you have made to stop TTC.  It's a very brave thing to look beyond a dream and see life on the other side when you realize that dream may not be for you.  It's certainly okay, though, to have "what if" moments.  I have 3 aunts (only one blood related) that were unable to have children or for whom it didn't work out.  All of them would have been wonderful mothers, but all of them still have/had full lives.  It's only one aspect and I know you'll do great things regardless.  

As for Kitchen Confidential, I think the kitchen culture is changing and evolving.  I would say in the 80s and 90s that was very much the standard kitchen atmosphere.  In a lot of kitchens there is still a taste of that - from somewhat raunchy behavior and crude language to abusive, yelling chefs and temper tantrums.  I have worked for guys who were a little Gordon Ramsey in style.  My first boss yelled at me and told me I would never make it.  You have to (particularly as a woman) be focused on yourself and ignore the static.  I always felt that I had to do it better, longer, and with less complaining that any of the guys so that they didn't think I was unworthy.  I think I have done okay with it  Thankfully, HR policies in a large corporation do wonders for taming the "Hell's Kitchen" type behaviors!

I love that you contribute to Public Radio.  I have always thought someday when I wasn't trying to save every cent that I would need to put some money there.  I listen to NPR and the UCF Jazz station frequently enough to be considered a free loader.

renegadewhit

@vesperlynch that's a big decision, but it sounds like you're comfortable with it. I get that you'll probably have sad days still, but I hope it becomes a positive and you ultimately find peace with it. 

daystardreams

@meredithcarole Thank you for the check in. I'll be thinking of you as your surgery approaches. I've been thinking about changing jobs soon too! I'm very undecided though.

@whitneyandconcep I hope your RE appointment goes well!

@momentomori I'm sorry about the results for YH. I'm not entirely sure what I would do in your position but my first thought would be to go ahead with the other testing, just to try and get all the information so you can start working on any potential problems at the same time, if that is possible. Just my rambling initial thoughts. Good luck!

@stephy1221 I'm sorry about AF!

@vesperlynch Hugs, that is such a tough decision.

 

Sorry I am running late on my post. Busy week! I did get my OPKs just in time and I ovulated this month for sure. Last month I wasn't so sure that I did ovulate even though I did get CHs. I just started the TWW and I'm hoping for the best. For some reason I think that I have gained back that extra optimism for this cycle!

meredithcarole

daystardreams said:

@meredithcarole Thank you for the check in. I'll be thinking of you as your surgery approaches. I've been thinking about changing jobs soon too! I'm very undecided though.

@whitneyandconcep I hope your RE appointment goes well!

@momentomori I'm sorry about the results for YH. I'm not entirely sure what I would do in your position but my first thought would be to go ahead with the other testing, just to try and get all the information so you can start working on any potential problems at the same time, if that is possible. Just my rambling initial thoughts. Good luck!

@stephy1221 I'm sorry about AF!

@vesperlynch Hugs, that is such a tough decision.

 

Sorry I am running late on my post. Busy week! I did get my OPKs just in time and I ovulated this month for sure. Last month I wasn't so sure that I did ovulate even though I did get CHs. I just started the TWW and I'm hoping for the best. For some reason I think that I have gained back that extra optimism for this cycle!

I like your optimism. FX for you this month!