May I have some advice about DE?

J&D2007

Hello ladies, I am a longtime IFV member and I intro'd over here a while back but haven't posted much here. Anyway, DH and I have made the decision to go ahead with a fresh DE cycle with our local RE. We have met with the agencies and actually picked a donor. Our RE is thankfully giving us a great price on the cycle. However, we do have a concern with the agency rules and I'd like your input. We are going with an agency that is our least favorite because they have our favorite donor. The lady is pushy and irritating. Their agency fee is $5,000, which they need upfront to hold the donor. Problem is, it's non refundable. They will rematch you but I don't like any other donors they have and they only add 10-12 a year. I do like a donor from another agency as a second favorite. So, if the donor backs out, has bad cd3 or initial evaluation, etc, etc..we are out $5000. Is this normal practice? Any advice? And I am a little intimidated by the 24 page legal document and the mandatory lawyer meetings too..all normal? Thanks so much for any advice!

Mrs.McIrish

Yes, this is typical of agencies and was the reason I didn't want to use one. It would be one thing for it to be nonrefundable if the donor was already tested but I hated that the donor could "fail" the testing yet the agency still gets your $ (and doesn't have another donor you like). Tough spot. Can you try to negotiate that you get out of it with $ back if she fails the medical workup by your RE?

J&D2007

I asked that today and it was a firm 'no'. They won't refund, even partially, if donor doesn't pass. They just rematch, which means we may have to wait a long time or settle. The other agency I like only needs $1500, which seems reasonable. I think it's ridiculous to be honest that they don't have to produce a good donor and we have to take all the risk.

vibeee

The only place I really explored is Shady Grove.  They have Shared risk donor program(actually 2).  The one I chose is you get your money back if no live birth minus $5K.  They guarantee 6 mature eggs (we are doing 1:3 share - fresh cycle).  If no eggs you move onto a different donor without any fees until you get your share.   I

f you get your share and fail all transfers resulted from the minimum 6 mature eggs you can get your money back or move onto the next donor.  This is where you pay the $5K fee again. 

Their database is pretty big and it changes all the time.

I amusing their services even though I'm in Colorado.  They are more affordable than other local agencies.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

J&D2007

@jimbobcooter, thanks so much for your reply. I remember when you were going through the mess with your rejected donors. Why were they rejected? Poor cd3 numbers? I asked the nurse at the RE office and she said that the RE hasn't ever rejected a donor?! I know what you're saying about going with an agency that has the best pool, but, honestly we have only liked 2 so far and both from different agencies. I really liked the other agency as they seemed really reasonable, but the donor is unavailable and I really don't see anyone else I would even consider. There are only 3 agencies that my RE gave me numbers to and there are probably 20 donors on each list. Are there more out there that will work nationwide?? I'm in MI. I'll PM you:-)

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

IRR

WOW, reading your stories I am glad we chose the place we did for our DE.  We paid nothing until we were officially "matched" and although our first choice ended up getting a new job out of state and moving away, we still had a list of 6 other donors we were ok with using.  Does your RE also have donors?  Perhaps you would want to consider using a clinic that does both so you know the donors will be approved before you "match" with them.  I do remember looking at some agencies and some of them never even responded to us.  Not sure what your costs are for the process, but ours was less than our failed adoptions.  GL and  my advice is don't pick an agency that only has one viable candidate for you.

brooklynesque

I wouldn't go with an agency that only has one donor you're interested in. Donors fall through relatively often, sometimes for unexpected reasons. My siggy shows what happened to me with my first donor. Fortunately my agency (NAFG) had a large pool of good donors and added new ones regularly, which is one of the reasons I focused on them in the first place. I found another donor I was quite happy with (and I am picky!) and all went well from that point on. It's a little odd that your RE has never rejected a donor . . . It would seem to signify that either s/he seldom does donor cycles, or doesn't have very high standards for donors, neither of which is a great thing. I'm sure you've considered traveling for a DE cycle because I know you've traveled before ... traveling for DE is relatively easy on the recipient since it's essentially like an FET. Even if your RE is giving you a deal a failed DE cycle is quite a waste of money . . . You might want to think about going to one of the clinics that is known for really high DE success rates. I can give you a list if you want to know which ones I'm referring to.

J&D2007

@brooklyn, I'd love a list if DE clinics and DE agencies that you'd suggest. Thanks!

brooklynesque

Among the ones that are reputed to be best for fresh DE are AFCC in Chicago, San Diego Fertility Center, Oregon Reproductive Medicine, and IVF NJ. They do a lot of cycles and have really good stats. That said also look at places like Shady Grove that do a lot of cycles and have slightly worse stats but do a ton of eSETs. (I worry some of the very successful clinics get there partly by discouraging eSETs, though it means very high twinning rates with DE.) for more info on clinics I highy recommend joining PVED, which is a site wholly devoted to DE and D Embryo -- there are a lot of women with deep knowledge on there. Good luck!!

For agencies, besides NAFG, I've also heard decent things about the Donor Source.

LittleLady77

All that is normal stuff except the agency only adding 10-12 girls a year.  That sucks.  I would really think about progressing.  Not ever donor passes all the testing (fertility testing, STD screening, mental evaluation etc.) and even if they pass everything there is always the chance no eggs are produced or something like that.  I would be very concerned about not having a backup at that agency.  

LittleLady77

I use https://giftedjourneys.com/ and they are fantastic and have thousands of girl and add more every day.  They are also on the fertility ethics board and are helping to shape regulations that actually hold some of these unetheical agencies accountable.  

The downside is they operate out of CA and pretty much all their girls are there.