terrible 3's? I'm at a loss!

WLJ2

I know this is tttcas related but please help. I don't know what to do next. My 3 almost four year old started a new day care about a month ago. Since then he has been on and off been having behavioral issues that he had not previously having. Today he was head butting other children and telling them he was going to slit their throats. Language that I have never heard at home.

Several months back his dad introduced hum to hunting. After that for about a month he kept talking about shooting/killing the dog. I attributed that to his misunderstanding on the concept of hunting. But now I'm not so sure.

His dad and I seperated shortly after his first birthday. We moved about a year ago. He started this day care about a month ago. There have been a lot of changes in his life over the last couple years. I'm not sure we're this aggression is coming from. Or if I should so something more about it. :-S

Reagan1010

DS is 4.5 and he still doesn't have a true understanding of death. We lost our dog back in March, and he will still ask if we can just go to Heaven to see her. He will say things like I'm going to kill you, get you, hurt you. If I tell him I don't like him saying those things, he will reply with 'but I'm the bad guy' or 'you're the monster'. To some extent, I think it's very normal behavior.

Can you talk to your LO's father and find out exactly what he said to him about hunting and cutting necks? I'm assuming it's something your LO heard and is repeating without really understanding what it means. I would talk to him about how it is not appropriate to say that to people.

As for the behavior changes and acting out. Moving is a huge adjustment for them. We just moved to a new state 6 weeks ago, so I completely understand! Just be consistent with discipline and talk to his teachers to make sure you are all on the same page. You could also try behavior charts and rewarding good behavior. Really play up the positive behavior you do see! Best of luck to you and I hope things get back to normal for you soon!

WLJ2

mlal78 said:

The other ladies gave you some good information.  As a daycare provider myself, I wanted to add in a suggestion to ask your provider if there are any other children in the centre acting like this.  At that age a lot of them will mimic other children, so it is possible he could have piced up some habits there too.

This is what I was thinking. And my son insists it was another child in his class saying these things. The child is actually in his class but the school said they aren't having issues with any other children. And his confrontation doesn't seem to be with anyone specific.

SpartanChick88

DD is 4 and had started saying she was going to kill people/things etc. at one point.  I figured out that she picked it up from a little boy who is always playing age inappropriate video games.  I explained exactly what 'kill' means and then asked her if she thought it was a nice thing to say. Once she realized what she was saying it stopped.  Maybe try to explain to him exactly what he is saying and the implications it can have?