I Left

Heartwood0519

Hi guys.. so I haven't been around much at all since about month 8 of pregnancy. I got super busy at work and didn't have time to bump and I don't ever go on my computer at home and I'm not a big fan of mobile bumping. I don't know how to check messages or see notifications from mobile.

Anyway, I know a lot of you know the back story of my relationship with my husband. Since Everett has been born, there's been a lot more fighting, I've only slept in our bedroom 2 nights since we've been home, and my husband hardly holds the baby, doesn't play with him, and if I ask him to watch him while I take a shower or do something around the house, he gives him back to me at the slightest peep.

Last night was the last straw. He came home from work and threw the biggest temper tantrum because I picked up his dirty clothes from the bathroom and put them in the hamper. It went downhill from there with him just being plain old mean to me. I don't know what his problem is, but his mood swings and his being an ass have taken their toll.

After he went to work this morning, of course after yelling at me and accusing me of cheating on him (never have, never would) I packed up some things and Everett and I are now at my parents.

I'm so sad and I feel terrible for my child. I had such a loving and great childhood and my parents have the best relationship and I want that for him.

Sorry for the huge post, but I'm sad and embarrassed to talk to IRL friends. Just looking for some support.

NavyFlyer

ooohhh I'm sorry :0( Sounds like you made a move that is going to be best for you and Everett in the end! Try to hang in there and remember if you push through this hard time your life will be better for it!!

windwithfingers

So sorry you're going through this! But I agree with PP, it's really brave of you to leave and you're doing what you think is best for your baby. >:D<

bumpuser10309732

So sorry things escalated. His accusing you of cheating probably stems back to when all that crap went down with him and his insecurities. (Hugs) I think you made a really strong choice and did what's best for you and baby boy. Everett needs to know that you can't treat women like that and it's not ok. You can still be great parents and be separate :-) I hope things get better for you!

Jennifer18131

So sorry to hear this. The next few months will be very difficult but know that we are here.

Eastie156

wow, it takes a lot to leave. I'm really proud of you. Maybe this will get his attention and you both can try to work things out. Also, if he's accusing you of cheating, is he cheating?

persephonerose

I'm sorry you are going through this. I hate to add to your stress, but you might want to get a consult with a lawyer to see what your state laws are regarding custody.  You might have to have a temp custody order put in place to protect yourself and LO. 

keeoing you in our thoughts

[Deleted User]

I'm proud of you for doing what is best for your son and yourself. You don't deserve how you've been treated for months now, at all. I hope you can stick with it and find peace in your decision. Just know that we are here for you if you ever need to vent. Hugs to you.

savicke2009

Im so sorry! Good for you though for standing up for you and your son.. that takes a lot of courage! Him accusing uou of cheating sounds like projection to me..Again im so sorry youre dealing with this

MrsL2B

I'm sorry you've been having such a rough time. Good for you for doing what's in your best interest. Best of luck!

AppleGrapeMSTK

I'm so sorry that this is happening.  I can't imagine how stressful this is for you.  But we are here to vent to, if you feel the need.  

Klavanga74

So sorry for this happening to you! This is the last thing you need with a new baby. Sounds like you did the right thing. Does DH have depression or a medical condition? Sounds like maybe he does? Thoughts and prayers to you!

pnwlover12

I'm proud of you. That sounds weird to say, but ever since all that shit went down with the realtor, I've been thinking about you. It will be a lot easier now vs. When your LO is older. Huge hugs to you.

victoria+james

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. I'm not sure if you're hoping to reconcile or not, but if you are I hope he makes a big change and fast! Also, like @Eastie156‌ said, if he's accusing you of cheating is there any way he might be? This sadly has been true in my personal experiences.

Syllessa

All the biggest, creepiest hugs.

AmandaJean12

I'm so sorry that you're still having to deal with this. No one deserves to be treated that way and I really hoped things were getting better for you guys. Just sending hugs and hoping he can take this as a wake up call and get his shit together so he's a better dad going forward, and if you want to reconcile, a better husband.

ohioloveyou

I have been thinking about you, and am so sorry to hear this.  But great job looking out for yourself.  You and your son will get through this.

MrMrsandBaby

pnwlover12 said:

I'm proud of you. That sounds weird to say, but ever since all that shit went down with the realtor, I've been thinking about you. It will be a lot easier now vs. When your LO is older. Huge hugs to you.

Yup...all of this! I'm sorry it went that far but I'm glad you got out before things got worse. Take some time and figure out what you want. Don't let anyone manipulate you into a decision.

Good luck and huge hugs...anytime you need to "talk" you know where we are.

meggiev123

So sorry to hear things have taken a turn for the worse, but glad you're able to do what's best for you and LO in the long run. Big hugs

MrsSarahRenee

Sad to hear it has been such a horrible time. Glad you took a step to help yourself and Everett. Please use us to vent to! You don't have to be alone.

vrj0522

I'm so sorry you are going through this and that things have just been getting worse. I don't know what your plan is for the future but hopefully this is a good wake up call for your H. If it isn't, then either way you've taken good steps for you and Everett. 

lrobi13

I am glad you felt like you can share here.  I am a child of divorce and I was so much happier after they split up.  They were much better people apart.

Your son can still have a very happy and wonderful childhood if you are happy. 

I can't imagine how hard all this must be but I honestly believe that if it has been as bad as you have told us then this may be the best thing for all of you. 

Hang in there and know that you have all of us rooting for you!

ariel06

I'm sorry you're going through this right now.

Saragoeswest

This sounds so overwhelming but I think it's great that you are taking a stand for yours and E's wellbeing. I'm really sorry things didn't turn around on their own. You deserve to be happy.

rosalie12

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Hugs and T&P!

Lindzoid

I'm sorry your going through this. Stay strong and you need to do what's right for you and LO.
We are all here for you. Creepy internet hugs.

Emerald27

T&Ps!

swizz09

Welcome back and sorry you are going through this. I can't even imagine, I really admire how strong you are.

silliegirlie143

It takes an enormous amount of strength and courage to leave

I bow down to you! T&P

jbuck909

Pretty much everything everyone else said. I'm proud that you left and have the best interests for yourself and E. T&ps, creepy internet hugs, and alllllll the chocolate!

Leysin97

Sorry you are going through this.T &P.

trisharenee0316

I'm so sorry to hear of your difficulty and sending big, creepy hugs your way.

BreandMikewedding

I'm so sorry. I think when you have a baby, you see your relationship clearer. I think sometimes what is ok for you isn't ok for your child. I know with my dd's sperm donor we had issues and he would go out partying and not come home. I dealt with it but when I had dd I realized it wasn't fair to her.

Wasn't it your H that was texting the realtor? There have been so many stories of guys being idiots from this birth month that it's hard to keep track.

Jesslynnsell

T&Ps for you and your family. I too am a child of divorce and I always say it was the best thing to happen. Both my parents are much better people and parents being separate from each other.

Raesofsunshine1

Im so sorry youhad to make such a hard decision. Best if luck to you in the days to come!

andrieya

Saragoeswest said:

This sounds so overwhelming but I think it's great that you are taking a stand for yours and E's wellbeing. I'm really sorry things didn't turn around on their own. You deserve to be happy.

This. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.

I hope your parents are also able to give you the support you need right now.

Heartwood0519

Thank you to everyone for sending their thoughts and creepy Internet hugs. I needed it. I am hoping to work things out with him, but I don't know how possible that is. I don't have a lot of faith, especially since he's not really doing anything to get me to come back home. It's heart wrenching to have so much love for someone and not feel it in return.

I've put up with a lot. Yes, he was the one texting the realtor and I actually found messages to another girl about a month before giving birth. I'm such a doormat and have let him walk all over me, so I had to stand up for myself.

I don't know what's in the future, but I at least hope that I can be happy and raise a happy and healthy child.

CNJ4EVA

Sorry to be super late, but I wanted to lend support as well. I admire your strength in making the difficult decision when it's so easy to keep with status quo. I hope you find peace and happiness, regardless of the path you ultimately choose.

jenndub

I hope you two can work if out, but if not, you can definitely do this on your own. That was very brave of you to leave, I think you did the right thing. I was a single mom with my older two, their dad left when DD1 was 2 and DS was almost 1. It was a struggle but you just do what you have to do. And when I look back at that time, I'm proud of myself for doing what I did. Now I'm married to a great guy and my life is so much better.

You deserve good things and so does your son. Don't ever go back to being a doormat, you clearly have what it takes to do it on your own. Best of luck, stay strong, you can do this.

BreandMikewedding

I agree with @jenndub‌ I left my ex when I was 7 months pregnant and was a single mom until I met dh when dd was 4. It was hard at times but I wouldn't trade it for putting up with my ex. Hugs to you!

bumpuser10309732

As far as being a doormat I hope you know that you deserve better and that you don't have to take that shit. There are men out there who would respect you. Marriage is work but it shouldn't be that hard! Maybe take some time to figure out what you need. It's possible none of that is what he has to offer you.