Breast ain't best, y'all

cuntasaurusrex

..unless you also happen to be from a particular SES/background...

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0277953614000549


DISCUSS.

katnipeverclean

Formula for lyfe!

I've been worried that my formula fed three year old who is very advanced in math and language might do a 180 once she got to about fourth grade and become a dumb fat waste of space just because her mom's boobs wouldn't make milk. What a relief.

Seriously though I'm just glad there is a study out there that actually acknowledges that advantages/disadvantages that children have later in life come from a hell of a lot more than breastmilk.

 

1982Babies

WHATEVAAAA

GOLD MILKSSSSS

ashleymarie1027

stellabunny said:

I need to finish reading it, but I already love the study if for no other reason than this line,

"Total commitment to 6 months of exclusive breastfeeding is a very high
expectation of mothers, especially in an era when a majority of women
work outside the home, often in jobs with little flexibility and limited
maternity leave, and in a country that offers few family policies to
support newborns or their mother..."

Haven't read it yet (but will be), just have to say that this is my sentiment exactly. I tried making it work with pumping at work and it just takes too much time and is too disruptive unless I wanted to start working longer hours.

At least my office provided a "personal care room", but that's better than average for what I've read on this board.

The best mom i can be involves me working and I look forward to showing my son that I can be good at my job while being an involved loving parent as well. So for me, that meant switching to formula after 4 months.

rheard3582

stellabunny said:

I need to finish reading it, but I already love the study if for no other reason than this line,

"Total commitment to 6 months of exclusive breastfeeding is a very high expectation of mothers, especially in an era when a majority of women work outside the home, often in jobs with little flexibility and limited maternity leave, and in a country that offers few family policies to support newborns or their mother..."

I EBF and I agree with this statement.  I HATE Pumping and it has been the only reason I have considered quitting early with DS2.  (I plan to go to a year.) Pumping is torture and a labor of love, especially for the working mom.  But the fact that the USA sucks on supporting working moms does not decrease the benefits of breastfeeding.  

I did give DS1 formula after 6 months and have no regrets. I am not against formula at all.  But breast is best that's a fact.  There are years of research to support this.  That is not saying that a breast feed baby will automatically be smarter or something.  But it is what it is.

Big+Lil

I'm a formula fed, self diagnosed genius.

I bf'ed my first for 15 months and now at 3 she's smarter than I am.

Aren't they all?

ashleymarie1027

rheard3582 said:

stellabunny said:

I need to finish reading it, but I already love the study if for no other reason than this line,

"Total commitment to 6 months of exclusive breastfeeding is a very high
expectation of mothers, especially in an era when a majority of women
work outside the home, often in jobs with little flexibility and limited
maternity leave, and in a country that offers few family policies to
support newborns or their mother..."

I EBF and I agree with this statement.  I HATE Pumping and it has been the only reason I have considered quitting early with DS2.  (I plan to go to a year.) Pumping is torture and a labor of love, especially for the working mom.  But the fact that the USA sucks on supporting working moms does not decrease the benefits of breastfeeding.  

I did give DS1 formula after 6 months and have no regrets. I am not against formula at all.  But breast is best that's a fact.  There are years of research to support this.  That is not saying that a breast feed baby will automatically be smarter or something.  But it is what it is.

From what I read, the point of this article was that those "years of research" did not account for the "selection into breast feeding" and that the data is therefore skewered by this strong SES bias of selection into breastfeeding. Paraphrasing here: "breast feed babies are most likely to be born to white, well educated families with a mean income well above the poverty line."
Therefore, those years of research might be wrong, at least with respect to the 11 factors resported in this study.

So, rather than creating an environment where working moms cry out of guilt the first time they give their baby formula (like I did), let's recommend breastfeeding but also deliver the message that formula is a great alternative.

I also think that a point from the article is that the source of calories an infant consume isn't what we (as a society) should be focusing on to improve the health and well being of those children as they group up.

abundancenow

I never needed a study like this because, my mom bf my sister only and I always told them I was smarter, prettier, healthier, more athletic, just superior to my sis, regardless of my formula fed first year.

\:D/

rheard3582

Formula is meant to copy what the body natural creates... That's like saying a prostatic leg is the same as the real one. It may get the job done, not cause any harm, and has it benefits . ....but it will not function like the original

I am not about the guilt that you get when you don't breast feed. Each mother does what is best for her baby and family. But I am also not about down playing breastfeeding in an effort to relieve anything

abundancenow

I've had discussions with others speculating that when formula began to be manufactured and mass marketed, around 1950, that there were campaigns that put down breast feeding. Companies particularly wanted to target wealthier consumers. Breast feeding was portrayed as less civilized and formula was marketed as "cultured". LaLeche was formed around 1956 to support breast feeding. Perhaps as a backlash to all the formula marketing, studies were focused to find data to support breastfeeding. I've found a lot of research to be industry biased by financial motivations, but also the desire to support one side vs another. Maybe "the breast feeding supporters" (groups like LaLeche) mostly financed the research. I don't know?

pjaimeal

When all is said and done, I think it is silly to put so much weight on the decision between BF and FF in regards to future well-being (behavioral, health, or otherwise). I think the decision to breastfeed can be based on a myriad of reasons (SES being one of them). Personally, I felt compelled to push through any and all difficulties I had in the beginning because of the potential benefit. Do I think if I had made the decision to FF it would have a significant impact on my LO? Not necessarily. But in hindsight, being a working EBF (who has had to pump at work for a month), I am glad I stuck with it because it is super convenient to BF now and I have learned to love it. I had so many oppurtunities to quit (thrush, latching problems as LO was fed formula at birth, having to use a nipple shield with formula syringe for a month, multiple plugged ducts, etc) but had support and made the decision to push through. For me, I feel like the hardship was worth it. For others with different circumstances, it may be different. My point is this...mothers should be able to make the decision based on what is best for THEM and THEIR family without feeling guilty and with as much knowledge and support they can get along the way.

Edit: premature posting probs

BadLeroyBrown

@stellabunny
That's exactly one of the reasons I stopped pumping and we switched to formula. The fairly normal baby blues I was experiencing were rapidly transitioning and I could see myself getting PPD had I kept it going. It was demoralizing and heartbreaking to be working so hard at something and getting nothing out of it.

And by out of it, I mean out of my boobs. #desertboobs

rheard3582

@stellabunny‌ i agree with you on the mental factor not being taken into account. I was very overwhelmed (to the point i wondered if i had PPA or D) with breastfeeding DS 1 and I had a great supply and latcher.

I felt like a loser and guilty for even thinking about quitting. I can't imagine adding anything else to that level of stress, shame, and guilt.

Nichole8787

I completely understand the unnecessary pressure to breastfeed. (Not that's it's acceptable that it's out there). I can't imagine how that much pressure could mentally torment you. However, that hasn't been my experience. I get asked multiple times a week when I'm going to ween. My family and many other moms have suggested formula more times than I can count.I feel like I'm constantly on the defense. Basically your damned if you do and damned if you d on't.

bullybutt

Nichole8787 said:

I completely understand the unnecessary pressure to breastfeed. (Not that's it's acceptable that it's out there). I can't imagine how that much pressure could mentally torment you. However, that hasn't been my experience. I get asked multiple times a week when I'm going to ween. My family and many other moms have suggested formula more times than I can count.I feel like I'm constantly on the defense. Basically your damned if you do and damned if you d on't.

I can relate to this.  My sister (3 kids) only nursed for 2 months with her baby before switching to formula.  I won't get on my soapbox about her reasoning to stop.  I'm constantly getting comments like "You're not going to nurse for as long as you did with DS, are you?"  "You know...you get to control when they stop nursing, right?  You don't have to sacrifice your boobs for that long"  Etc, etc.  For me it's not only a nutritional thing, it's also the comfort and bonding value for me and babeh.  Plus I'm way to lazy to get up in the middle of the night and "fix" a bottle and I'm too cheap to pay for formula.  If I had to, I certainly would though.  Every mom does what is best for her and the baby and NOBODY should question that.  When they do, that's when you get the allowance to say STFU!

BadLeroyBrown

@nichole8787
Ugh. That really sucks.


Side note: I heard the term Lactivist for the first time the other day.

ghostof5letters

You know what ain't best? Starving your kid. All the other options are A-OK in my book. 

emy730

@stellabunny

Thank you SOOO much for saying that about PPD! That was my main hurdle in BFing and ultimately why I decided to stop and FF my daughter. Still, I had a lot of negativity following my decision and was basically told to "try harder" by a few people. I also heard a lot of, "Well at least you tried it, so-and-so didn't even try!" I don't get that sentiment either… it isn't for everyone!

FFing allowed me to stop putting so much pressure on myself and start focusing on feeling better and being a better mom. And now almost 5 months in, I'm very happy with my decision.

I think it's great when people BF. I think it's great with people FF. Basically, I think it's great when people feed their children. I will NEVER understand why other people care so much how other people feed their children.

emy730

Nichole8787 said:

I completely understand the unnecessary pressure to breastfeed. (Not that's it's acceptable that it's out there). I can't imagine how that much pressure could mentally torment you. However, that hasn't been my experience. I get asked multiple times a week when I'm going to ween. My family and many other moms have suggested formula more times than I can count.I feel like I'm constantly on the defense. Basically your damned if you do and damned if you d on't.

I also don't get why people care so much how long other children are BF'd. Who cares?! That's a personal decision that any BFing mom needs to make on their own. People need to just STFU!

JayBzo

I chose to stop trying at about 10 weeks because I was spending so much time pumping, wishing and hoping milk would come out that I was not enjoying myself. My baby sat alone and cried while I pumped, trying to bounce his bouncer to calm him - or I tried to hold him while pumping and made a mess everywhere.

I am NOT okay with my decision, and if I could do it all over again I would have done things differently. I did not make enough milk for him and it boggles my mind that what is good and natural and should happen couldn't for me. I never even considered it wouldn't work, until it didn't. It haunts me every single day. Although I totally agree with the article and that my LO is fine even being FF, I still feel less than. That I didn't try hard enough, that I am not woman enough, that I didn't do what is best for my child, on and on... Hopefully things go differently with baby 2. Though then I will be probably be cursing myself and wishing DH could help more

TricksyPixie

I felt so bad about only breastfeeding a month. I guilted myself hard. But my monster is smart and more importantly, happy. She is almost crawling (God help me. She will have it down pat by Christmas) and she is more into food than formula anyway. As long as monkey is fed, she doesn't care if it's boob spoon or bottle. So with lo2 I am not going to be as hard on myself.

Hilee18

I bf'd for 2 weeks, I had a coworker tell me what I could do to relactate. She was too much I ended up tearing up, I tried. The neonatologists and lactation consultants didn't guilt me, but she sure did. 

HayleesMomma

I love this thread! I bf and pumped for 8 weeks and it was the most miserable time of my life. My daughter just turned 5 months and we are doing so great on formula. All the women I hang out with exclusively breast feed so I'm still a but insecure it didn't work for me. They haven't left their babies and I've been out to shop or get my nails done so I keep telling myself I'm very lucky and my daughter will be more independent. She's good staying with family so my husband and I can have a break.

HayleesMomma

Hilee18 said:

I bf'd for 2 weeks, I had a coworker tell me what I could do to relactate. She was too much I ended up tearing up, I tried. The neonatologists and lactation consultants didn't guilt me, but she sure did. 

So sorry you're going through this! I got grief from normal people I think people are judging me. My doctor was so understanding and helped me a lot with my guilt.

lowen83

No parent should have to defend how they choose to feed their child! As long as you feed them and they thrive who cares. Shame on us for doing this to our selves too.

My husbands best friend and his wife had twins a month before we had our first son and she always turned her nose up to breastfeeding. She actually said to me "that's not what boobs are for" Matter of fact she tried to make me feel bad because I would defend my choice and reasons for BFing. Probably because she chose to not bf and felt that she had to defend her own choice.

I ebf my 3 year old for 6 months till I began having supply issue and made it till 8 months with formula, freezer supply and BFing. This time LO has been EBF and I pump at work. 6 months is my goal and that seems totally doable.

Power to all moms and all that we do bf or formula fed! We all rock!!

EllaSmella

I gotta say, I find the title of this post a little grating. Who cares if breast is best or formula is finer. Just let people feed their babies. I don't get why breastfeeders feel the need to shame other mothers who FF, and in turn, I don't get why a FF would be so excited to prove that breastfeeding isn't best after all.

One of my favorite quotes: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent - Eleanor Roosevelt

Soon2BMrsN

EllaSmella said:

I gotta say, I find the title of this post a little grating. Who cares if breast is best or formula is finer. Just let people feed their babies. I don't get why breastfeeders feel the need to shame other mothers who FF, and in turn, I don't get why a FF would be so excited to prove that breastfeeding isn't best after all.

One of my favorite quotes: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent - Eleanor Roosevelt

I'm assuming Ali was being facetious with her post title.