Things you can never predict that your kids will determine are 'unfair'

groovygrl

please make me feel not as bad about the incessant "such and such is not fair" talk that is going on at my house at all times. Today it is that DD's xmas stocking is not fair because the other three in the family have a 'pop up' which is her way of saying that one has a cotton ball on santa's hat, one has a little tag of felt for a tail and the other has some other little piece of fabric sticking off but hers doesnt have something like that apparently. Silly me when I had 4 month olds and bought all of our stockings w/ names on them, I thought the girl would like the snowman with rainbow scarf & the boy would like the train and mom & dad got the santa & reindeer. She even told me that I could drizzle nail polish remover over the names and sew new ones on which I thought was kind of creative... . Sigh. Never.can.win.
Vent over

groovygrl

Ahhh! The fighting is so nonstop at my house, it starts pretty much every morning at breakfast and continues all day. This morning there is crying about me (mistakenly, so dumb on my part) bringing out some Xmas plates & one has Santa & one doesn't and now they are both yelling & freaking out about which one gets the damn plate with Santa on it. I should have known better. I put them away and told them no one was getting them but the conversation/argument will not end about who gets the Santa plate even though I have repeatedly told them the plates are not coming back out again. DD's negotiation is that DS can use the Santa plate "next year" if she gets it this year, which of course he is really going to go for.... ughhh....

neverblushed

OMG -- "It's not fair!' is one of my least favorite kid sayings.  

The whole "it's not fair" thing takes on a new, horrid life of its own when the kid is in middle school, because they don't just say that a situation is unfair, they make it REALLY personal.  YOU, the parent, are being unfair!  YOU'VE done this to them!!  And their perception of what's "fair" or not is even less realistic than a 7 year old's.

Things that have been cited recently as "unfair" in my home:

--having to turn off video games when you are in the middle of a level, even though you have been playing for a few hours and you were told that you had to turn them off at a certain time.

--that the sibling is invited to a sleepover but you're not.

--that we decided to actually go to Panera instead of Chic-fil-a when the family vote was 3 to 1 in favor of Panera.

--that mom will not read you another chapter of Eragon when it's past your bedtime.

--having to scoop the cat boxes.

--having to feed the cats.

--having to take a shower.

--having homework.

Actually, when I think about it, almost all of those are the 10 year old.  The 14 year old hasn't really hit me with how "unfair" I am lately, which makes sense because she's now a worldly high schooler.  

Okay, I feel a little better.

groovygrl

LOL I know it is typical of the age, just venting & looking for commiseration BUT funny enough she actually came up w/ a suggestion to sew on a button or a pom pom herself w/out me even asking to try to give hers a 'pop up' so I'm going to do something for it .
neverblushed...don't feel too bad if those were 10 yr old complaints b/c my 5 yr olds pretty much blame me for everything and I am generally the main cause of the unfairness and everything that goes wrong...telling them they need to put on their shoes, take a bath, if they trip & fall like 10 ft away from me.....I'm always unfair & horrible. I guess that is par for the course w/ parenting though right? The fighting over every single thing might put me over the edge one of these days though. They were just kicking each other on purpose as we got out of the car over who said that I should 'turn left' first on the way home.

neverblushed

groovygrl said:

 The fighting over every single thing might put me over the edge one of these days though. They were just kicking each other on purpose as we got out of the car over who said that I should 'turn left' first on the way home.

Wow.  Do you keep a logbook so you can torture them when they're older?

groovygrl

I have actually been meaning to buy that book...I also like their other book but am not so good at applying the concepts all the time, I will admit...

Keeping track of their fighting would occupy 100% of my time I think if I did it ...LOL!!!. I do wonder if it'll be better next year when they'll be in separate classes, right now they are in a school with only 1 K class, so they are together almost 100% of the time except when they choose to play separately at home and the occasional time they go do something with one of us and the other doesn't go.  Sometimes they will play soooo nicely together for quite some time and it is like a breath of fresh air...

rsd12

My 6 yr old just busted out with his brother having a play date with a friend not being fair and he wants a friend over. I told him this is a valuable lesson and he should learn from this because life is not fair and the sooner he can accept this... life will be better
; )

groovygrl

Ugh bummer . I thought maybe a little bit of a break might make them not fight from the very second they get home (or in the car in my current situation)??? LIke maybe give me 30 minutes of peace to cook dinner? LOL

emberlee3

DS is constantly complaining about things being unfair.  It is so annoying.  Definitely not just a twin thing.  I mean, there is no way things can be exactly the same between a 5 year old and a 2 year old.  But to DS, that is terribly unjust...

ppants

groovygrl said:

I have actually been meaning to buy that book...I also like their other book but am not so good at applying the concepts all the time, I will admit...

Keeping track of their fighting would occupy 100% of my time I think if I did it ...LOL!!!. I do wonder if it'll be better next year when they'll be in separate classes, right now they are in a school with only 1 K class, so they are together almost 100% of the time except when they choose to play separately at home and the occasional time they go do something with one of us and the other doesn't go.  Sometimes they will play soooo nicely together for quite some time and it is like a breath of fresh air...

My b/g twins don't fight too much (in separate classes), but over the summer they fight all.the.time because they're in same summer camp.  Last summer the car rides were better since they like to read in the car. Your kids' fighting *could* decrease with some time apart.  At nearly 9, I don't hear the "it's not fair" argument much anymore. 

velvethelicopters

Madeline was sitting on the floor leaning against one of the dogs. Victoria was sitting on the couch with a cat in her lap.

I have no clue as to what started the fits, but it wasn't fair one had a dog and the other had a cat.

I put dogs in kennels, cats in my room, then dumped both girls in bed. Where they proceeded to whine how it's not fair, they don't want to go to bed, they aren't tired, it's too early for bed.....

15 minutes later, I peek in, both are dead to the world asleep. Yeah, not tired.

I think most of this is from being stuck inside too much for 4 days of nasty sub zero temperatures.