LGBT Parenting
Jazibel
member
Parenting Roster:
(Please let me know if you would like to be added)
@2brides – G & C born 5/18/06, other Mom is L
@Themommymonster – C (DS) born 2/18/09
@Mystjava – Little Bear (LB) born 3/2010, other Mummum is Shawn
@winstan1 – J (DS) born 9/10 (currently 3.5 years old)
@Trisholio and @trisholiosboi – Proud foster parents to M born 2/6/12 and K born 8/22/13; baby Adalyn born 8/29/14
@jazibel – Kaden born 7/13/12 and Owen born 5/2/14, other parent (Aya) is EV
@newmompeanut – N (DD) born 2/12/13, other Momma is B
@CageyMack – W born 3/16/13
@JGY – Gabe born 3/24/13, other Mama is S.
@Stringy813 – M born May 2013
@Clairmeij – Alarico born 6/28/13, other mama is V
@Wallace323 – J and L born 8/8/13, surviving triplets born at 31 weeks
@Jrtmom – Henry born 8/15/13, other mama is L
@ATXmommas – Sebastian (“Ash”) born 11/21/13, other Momma is Z
@mwagner25 – Oliver born 11/27/13, other parent is L
@herbabymama – C (DD) born 12/10/13, other Mama is K
@Sarahtrpt – C born February 2014
@AmandaG47 – Twin girls born 2/22/14, other Mommy is J
@Mamosey & @Karlamo – R born 2/25/14
@shameless370087 - Anthony and Sati, born 3/9/2014, Other mom is S
@Filmfanatic82 – Charley born 3/15/14
@2momsinCA - B & O born 5/27/14
@KH826 – Will born 6/4/14
@redrockmama – M born 6/19/14, other Mama is J
@ball.and.chain – B born 6/28/14<br style="line-height: 23.799
Parenting Check-In (12/1)
Jazibel
member
Good Morning Everyone!
How was your weekend? Any new successes, challenges or milestones to report?
QOTD: Do your kids have a schedule during the week or on the weekends?
QOTD #2: How do you motivate your kid(s) toward positive behavior (or how will you)?
Parenting Roster:
(Please let me know if you would like to be added)
@2brides – G & C born 5/18/06, other Mom is L
@Themommymonster – C (DS) born 2/18/09
@Mystjava – Little Bear (LB) born 3/2010, other Mummum is Shawn
@winstan1 – J (DS) born 9/10 (currently 3.5 years old)
@Trisholio and @trisholiosboi – Proud foster parents to M born 2/6/12 and K born 8/22/13; baby Adalyn born 8/29/14
@jazibel – Kaden born 7/13/12 and Owen born 5/2/14, other parent (Aya) is EV
@newmompeanut – N (DD) born 2/12/13, other Momma is B
@CageyMack – W born 3/16/13
@JGY – Gabe born 3/24/13, other Mama is S.
@Stringy813 – M born May 2013
@Clairmeij – Alarico born 6/28/13, other mama is V
@Wallace323 – J and L born 8/8/13, surviving triplets born at 31 weeks
@Jrtmom – Henry born 8/15/13, other mama is L
@ATXmommas – Sebastian (“Ash”) born 11/21/13, other Momma is Z
@mwagner25 – Oliver born 11/27/13, other parent is L
@herbabymama – C (DD) born 12/10/13, other Mama is K
@Sarahtrpt – C born February 2014
@AmandaG47 – Twin girls born 2/22/14, other Mommy is J
@Mamosey & @Karlamo – R born 2/25/14
@shameless370087 - Anthony and Sati, born 3/9/2014, Other mom is S
@Filmfanatic82 – Charley born 3/15/14
@2momsinCA - B & O born 5/27/14
@KH826 – Will born 6/4/14
@redrockmama – M born 6/19/14, other Mama is J
@ball.and.chain – B born 6/28/14<br style="line-height: 23.799
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Parenting Check-In (12/1)
We're working the plan, slowly but surely. I wish it was getting faster, sooner but we seem to be making progress but then some nights I'm not sure. She has been helpful answering my questions via email which is nice. For now we are sticking to the plan no matter what and are re evaluating at the end of our consult time with her.
Sorry to miss check in but right now the estrace for my FET is kicking my a**! I can't eat and have moments of vomiting. BLAH! Puking with a 9 month old IS as bad as it sounds!
Have a great week everyone!!
QOTD: We've always held to a consistent schedule. We made sure the kids were home to nap 95% of the time on the weekends (and they napped till they were 5.5y.) Our nanny got them on a schedule by 6m or so during the week. They have always had a consistent bedtime (though the time has fluctuated as they have gotten older - it is now 8pm. We do allow for flexibility on the weekends.) Schedules helped us survive having twins
QOTD: We use a lot of positive reinforcement. We consistently praise the kids for nice manners, taking turns, playing nicely, etc. "I like the way you took turns playing the game." "Thank you for using polite manners when ordering your dinner." When they were younger, we re framed time outs as meditation (when it was clearly from the kid being over stimulated/hungry vs just being obstinate (!) ) Check out the Peaceful Piggy Meditation book!
Warning: This is going to be a long update!
@stringy813 said it -- " sleeping in a strange place and a very busy house and many relatives in her face..." -- Will was a total trooper, but he struggled toward the end. We were at my Mom's house Tues-Sat, and it was just too long. He did not STTN for the first time since he was 6 weeks old the last night we were at my mom's. He woke up at 3am crying (he usually wakes up babbling to himself). I fed him and put him back down and he slept for another 2 hours... then we got up and left! HAHA... we were all ready to be done. I think the new rule is that there is a 3-day max on the length of our stays at someone else's house. Especially my mom's because it is loud and chaotic!
Our ride up to Massachusetts on Tuesday was totally awesome. Will rocked it! He fussed for less than a minute total the entire 7 hour journey. We stopped twice and got him up and out of the car, fed him and changed him... then loaded back in and kept going. He did such a good job -- I was amazed!
Our ride home on Saturday was not as good. He was just totally spent after the above mentioned chaos and change to his usual day-to-day... he did really well for the first leg of the trip, but once we hit the NJ Turnpike, it all fell apart... He cried, like truly cried (it was heartbreaking!)... he just wanted out of that seat and to be back in his own house. J got in the back seat with him, and that helped... then he had an explosive poop and he just lost it. It was about 10 mins until I could get to a rest stop to pull over, and he was just a wreck. Longest 10 mins of my life. We lost a onesie to poop that was just NOT salvageable, but after a new outfit and a lot of wet wipes, he was better for the rest of the trip. J stayed in the back with him, and he did OK until we got home.
Sunday, he was truly a mess. Just not himself at all. He was fussy and clingy x100! He refused to be put down. Aside from 10 mins in his swing, his bath, and maybe 5 mins of floor time, we held him ALL DAY. It was what he needed. As long as his belly was full and a mom was holding him, he was OK. He was definitely not like himself at all though overall. I just think that he needed a day to recuperate.
Being at my mom's was a mixed bag. It was good to see family, and introduce Will. I relaly enjoyed my time with my middle sister. She and I have had a rough time over the years, but we seem to be on the other side of it, and our relationship is finally in a good place. She and her boyfriend really enjoyed time with Will also, and that was great to see! My mother is still finding her footing as a grandmother... by the last day of our visit, she seemed more comfortable, but for the first couple of days she seemed oddly standoffish, but was just weird. She wasn't the hands-on grandmother that I had anticipated. In fairness though, she hadn't seen him since he was 3 weeks old, and I think she just was busy with holiday prep and not really sure of herself in terms of being with an infant again (it has been a long time since she had an infant!). We went to see my brother on Friday. That was a rough visit. He had a really bad day while we were there. He had an hour long seizure that day, and had to get his whole protocol of rescue meds twice. So he was totally out of it for most of our visit. Will on the other hand was amazing that day! He was babbling and happy and laughing for our entire visit. All of my brother's nurses were so taken with Will, and he was just giggling and generally being adorable with all of them. We sat him on my brother's bed and introduced them... everyone cried (except Will!).... Will grabbed my brother's hand at one point, and it was just kind of amazing. I wish my brother was having a better day, but we did snap a few photos, and now I can say they have met. I feel at peace with the whole thing. It was the best visit that it could have been based on the circumstances...
Now onto the fun Will stuff -- there is so much! And some other misc updates as well...
* Will turns 6 months on Thursday. We are planning to start solids! I am so excited. I think Will is too. I think the boy is ready. He has been longingly looking at food A LOT lately. I also think he is hungry. We increased his bottles by an additional ounce per bottle this week. He was getting hungry closer together and upset when the bottle was empty. He is a big boy, and I think he needs a little something extra in addition to his formula. I know his caloric intake/nutrition needs to still come from formula until he is 1, but I am sure that his "just for fun food" will eventually help keep him full once he figures out eating and is actually digesting some solids!
* We have discovered the "B" sound! Sometime while we were at my mom's Will started adding new sounds to his babbling, and became a million times more vocal. His new favorite sound to make is "Bah" followed by "Bum" and something that sounds like "Bod" ... it is so ridiculously cute, and he makes these super expressive faces when he is babbling to himself. He sat in his high chair at my mom's dining room table during Thanksgiving dinner and just talked to himself the entire time. It was hysterical!
* There is a lot of scooting going on! Will is a rolling machine, and can get from one end of the room to another in under a minute doing multiple consecutive rolls! He now gets up on his knees and rocks back and forth, but then gets frustrated that he doesn't move, so he just rolls again. A few times he has rolled onto the hardwood floor and then pushed himself backward across the floor! I told J to put outlet covers and other babyproofing items in my stocking!
* I think we are on the cusp of another acute teething stage. The drool is just totally out of control. We can't feel anything poking through up top yet, but his gums looks red and he is chewing on Sophie the Giraffe with new vigor! Yesterday we broke out the freezer teething rings, and he went to town on those for a good long while.
* He is still sleeping in his lounger (like the RNP) -- that is what we took with us to my mom's house. We plan to transition him to the Graco mini crib later this week. We just wanted to try to stagger the changes a bit since there is a lot of new happening right now!
* Will's poor little cheeks (the ones on his face!) have been so chapped lately. Oddly enough, my lips have been crazy chapped too, so I feel his pain. We have been putting coconut oil on his cheeks every night before bed, and we are running the humidifier in our room every night. That definitely helps, and he wakes up without chapped cheeks, but by night time they are chapped again! I think it is just the dry air and cold weather. He doesn't seem to mind, but I still feel badly for him. Coconut oil seems to be made of magic though!
* In the baby gear department, I have been semi-aggressively looking for a new stroller on craigslist. It is not in the budget to buy once of these fancy pants strollers brand new right now, but I still think I want one. There are some good deals to be had on CL, I think... and as long as it looks like it is in good condition, and I can wash the fabric part before use, then I am cool with that. I got close to pulling the trigger on one last night, but the seller wouldn't come down an additional $50, so I walked. I figure, if I am going to do this now it has to be a super sweet deal. I am a pretty hard negotiator, but I am willing to wait for the right deal. I will let you all know when I finally procure my gently used fancy pants stroller for cheap! HAHA
* Oh, we tried the big boy bath tub at my mom's house, and it was a success. I think we are going to transition to the big tub at our house soon, but I want to find a tub seat that has suction cups on the bottom first. This is what we were using at my mom's: https://www.amazon.com/Summer-Infant-Mothers-Deluxe-Bather/dp/B003BTXSCE/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1417454707&sr=8-6&keywords=baby+bath+seat - It worked well, but it didn't suction to the tub... any recommendations?
I *think* that is it for the moment... but I am likely to remember more later on, so I might be back!
Me - 30, My wife - 31 , Together for 10 yrs - Married August 2012
5 medicated IUIs w/ RE (March - July 2013) = BFN
Fresh IVF Cycle in September 2013 resulted in 18 mature eggs, 16 fertilized, 12 made it to day 5. Transfer of 2 Grade A blastocysts on 9/15/13, and 10 embryos in the freezer! *****BFP on 9/25/13 - betas: @10dp5dt = 232; @12dp5dt = 465; @15dp5dt = 1,581 *********William George born June 4, 2014*********Lots going on. Today is my first day of no pumping (at work, that is). Ash (and my boobs) did pretty well with very limited daytime nursing over the last few days, so I didn't even bring my pump to work today just in case. It's an amazing feeling! This is also the first day that I did not send a bottle to day care. He has access to water in a sippy all day and is given milk in a sippy at lunch time. I'll confirm with the pediatrician tomorrow that this is ok, but it's the normal routine in his 12-18 month classroom. Not having to wash pump/bottle parts (at least until #2 rolls around) is going to be AWESOME!
He's still nursing to sleep around 7pm and waking twice during the night. His first waking is around 11-11:30; this is Z's shift and she can almost always get him back to sleep on her own. He typically wakes again anytime between 1 and 3:30am. I take this shift and nurse him back to sleep. I'm really interested in nigh-weaning him, so I gave it a shot last Wednesday night, following the same technique that a friend of mine had success with. When he woke for the second time, I went into his room where I had already prepared a sleeping pallet on the floor. I took him out of his crib and put him on the floor with me while I tried to comfort him, but also let him roam around. He cried very heavily for a half hour. Like, screaming/crying. I kept trying to comfort him the whole time, but he wasn't having it. Eventually, the crying started to taper and I was feeling hopeful, but he ended up passing out in odd positions (e.g. lying across my neck) for a couple minutes before waking/crying for a couple minutes. We did this for another hour until I caved and nursed him. Then, when I finally nursed him, he cried when I put him back in his crib, which rarely happens. Either he's really not ready or this particular technique was just wrong for him. Either way, it scared me off trying again over the Thanksgiving holidays. Maybe we'll try again in a couple weeks. Or, maybe I'll just nurse him until college. I'll keep you posted.
My mom and stepdad came back in town on Thanksgiving evening and they had a blast with Ash. He is a charming little boy, and he just melts their heart. I love that even though he is their sixth grandchild and being a grandparent is old hat to them that they are as mesmerized by him as they were their first (and second and third, etc.) grandchild.
Ash is going through a bit of a clingy phase. When Z and I are at home, he wants to be held a LOT. He's also being pickier with food - refusing to eat things that he previously devoured. Last night I resorted to giving him a peanut butter sandwich because he wouldn't eat his dinner. I haven't followed the Wonder Weeks very closely, but I did take a peek at the chart and saw a big ole rain cloud right above 53 weeks. Apparently, this is a pretty significant leap. Should be over in another week or so. He continues to attach meaning to objects and is learning to operate his toys (knows which buttons to push) and he is starting to problem solve. He stuffed a ball somewhere where he couldn't retrieve it, so he grabbed a stick to try to get at it. Pretty cool. The kid still won't sit in my lap while I read to him, but he does like opening/closing books and looking at pictures. I just try to read to him while he plays, so at least he is experiencing reading on some level. His energy is still off the charts.
His diaper rash around his creases is clearing up, but not totally gone. Poor kid just scratches himself like crazy during every diaper change and bath time. Will follow up with doctor tomorrow, but looks like the worst is behind us.
@KH826 - Once Ash could sit on his own, we just put him straight into the bathtub. There is no way we could have contained him in a bathtub seat once he became so interested in being mobile. It works just fine for us. But, that might be because we never really used our infant bathtub. He hated it as a newborn, so we just got in the habit of bathing with him in the regular bathtub. Once he could sit up on his own, we started bathing him on his own in there.
QOTW #1: We try to follow our nighttime routine pretty closely - dinner around 6pm, followed by bath, followed by nursing, followed by sleep. Occasionally, we skip bath time if we're running behind on dinner for whatever reason. We're not really scheduled during the day on the weekends (he's at day care during the week). He wakes up pretty early (poo!) and I usually nurse him, let him play a bit, then give him breakfast. We do whatever the rest of the day and just let him nap when he shoes cues of being tired, not at specific times. Has always worked for us. Or, maybe it doesn't since he doesn't sleep well at night. :-?
QOTW #2: At this age, it's all about redirection. Constant redirection! I try not to say no too often, but I fail at this a LOT. When I do say no, I try to be very good about following it up with what I would rather him do. I have no idea yet about how we will approach motivating positive behavior in the future. Z and I are on the same page about no corporal discipline. We will utilize time outs, positive reinforcement, etc. Am interested to hear what the parents of older children have to say! I know I'm going to need support in this area. I feel like the "easy" part of parenting is going to be soon behind us. As challenging as the first year is, it's all about keeping your child fed, clothed, safe, and comforted. This next stage of parenting adds the additional task of molding the kid into a good person. That's the real challenge!
Sleep training is imminent. We've been waiting until he no longer had a stuffy nose or cough but are starting to accept that that might not happen until spring and we would really like to get him out of the bed before 6 months. Talked about starting tonight but I'm not sure our ducks are in a row yet. We did buy a Baby Merlin's Magic Sleepsuit which a few people recommended for babies sleeping alone...we will see if it helps. Part of me is trying to be optimistic that this could all go quite smoothly, but that will probably not be the case. Even our daycare provider commented on how loudly he cries when he doesn't want to be put down to sleep. He is a very happy baby...until he's not.
I was a little worried about Thanksgiving after his recent meltdown at my dad's house, but in fact he was a dream. We brought his musical walker, which he loves, and he sat in it for the whole meal, playing and babbling. Lots of bleeping and blooping and electronic music but no crying! His new trick is to push the buttons on the walker with his tongue. Classy, eh? He has also finally figured out how to "walk" in it versus just sitting and pressing buttons. My ILs were visiting for the holiday and he was super cute with them.
Other developments: he seems to have found his feet, which means, of course, that he tries to get them in his mouth. He's "sitting" better and better though still with assistance. We tried out his high chair at dinner on Saturday and he seemed to like being at our level, and happily played with a toy that suctions onto the tray. Next step, food! He has started pulling my hair. Yay. What a tight fist that kid has! On Sunday he got a fistful of my dad's dog's tail. Fortunately the dog is a completely non-aggressive golden retriever...
I did his holiday card photo shoot on Sunday and got a few shots of him that I really love. Built the card today and ordered them and I can't wait to send them out! I've been wanting to send baby photo cards since I started TTC in 2011 and every year when I bought regular cards it was like a reminder that I didn't have that baby yet. So aside from the fact that I love the card and think he looks uber cute, it was also very gratifying to finally get the coveted baby photo cards!
Friday was B's 5-month birthday. Wowza.
I'm going to skip the QOTD because B has no schedule right now -- that is partly why we're sleep training. And not much in the way of behavior management at this point...
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*
Regarding bottles - I suppose weaning him from the boob and bottle is too much at one time?!? I actually tried to give him a bottle the other day, and he wouldn't take it from me - BUT I had already started nursing him before Z prepared a bottle for me. I have given him a bottle maybe twice ever, but he did take the bottle from me on those two occasions, so that's an option I can try again. Thank you for the feedback!
Also, random question for you. Since you know how to encapsulate placenta, maybe you know how long they last in the freezer? I've read that it can help with the hormonal impact of weaning and I have some leftover, but not sure if it's still safe. They aren't in a deep freeze. Just our regular freezer.
9 IUIs = 9 BFNs
IVF October 2012: 22 eggs retrieved, 17 fertilized, 5 frozen
ET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Blighted ovum discovered at 7w5d; D&E
FET #1: 1 blast = BFP; Missed m/c discovered at 9w5d; D&E
Karyotyping: normal ~ RPL Testing: normal ~ Hysteroscopy: normal
FET #2: 1 blast transferred 10/25; BFP 10/31!
EDD 7/13/14 ~ Induced at 37w4d due to pre-eclampsia ~ Born on 6/28/14
*Everyone welcome*
@mystjava - we miss you around here, but you have lots of things going on in your life!
Don't have time for a really long update, but I can sum up this week in 3 words:
Projectile.Yogurt.Vomit.
QOTD #1: G has a pretty solid schedule for meals and naps. The rest can be a bit fluid. During the week his daycare has a strict schedule, though lots of time build in for free play. On the weekends, we try to get some good physical activity in once each day (trip to the museum, tumbling class, playground, etc). The rest of the day goes like this (both week days and weekends):
6:30am - Up for the day
7:00am - Breakfast
8:30am - Snack
12:00pm - Lunch
1:00pm - Nap
2:30-3:00pm - Up from Nap
3:00pm - Snack
5:45pm - Dinner
6:30pm - Bath
7:15pm - Brush Teeth
7:30pm - Bed
G really thrives on a schedule and understanding what to expect at what time of day. That's not to say that we can't deviate and roll with the punches a bit, but he is ALSO one of those kids (@Jazibel, @2brides) that gets hangry and unmanageable when he misses a snack or mealtime, so it's in everyone's best interest to make sure we get food into him when/before he needs it.
QOTD #2: We do a lot of praise for good/helpful behavior, including high-fives, cheering and dancing. Saying "No" just really isn't effective for us (which doesn't mean we don't do it, I feel like we say no constantly), so we're trying to build in consequences for behaviors we don't like such as hitting. When he hits Mommy, Mommy goes away. He doesn't like that at all. When I come back all of 5 seconds later, he says sorry and we hug, and I remind him that I went away because he hit. It actually does seem to be working. I can't even fathom how a time out would work for us. I mean literally how would I get him to sit/stand in one place? Just not going to happen. Plus I really don't know that it would be effective with him.
Married to my amazing wife 6/12/10
TTC since 6/11
Unmedicated IUI #1 - 6/28/11 - BFN
Unmedicated IUI #2 - 7/25/11 - BFN
Robotic Myomectomy (Fibroid Surgery) - 11/15/11
Unmedicated IUI #3 - 4/24/12 - BFN
Progesterone Supported Leuteal Phase IUI #4 - 6/21/12 - BFP!!
Baby Boy G Born 3/24/13
On to #2, are we crazy?
IUI #1 - 11/28/14 - BFP! Beta #1 (11DPO) 34, Beta #2 (13DPO) 101, Beta #3 (20DPO) 3043
Ultrasound at 6w4d shows a single, fluttering heartbeat. Say hello to Sticky Ricki!