Stay at Home Moms

So what do you DO all day?!

Meery82Meery82 member
edited December 2014 in Stay at Home Moms
Let me preface this by saying that the title is meant to be attention-grabbing, not inflammatory, so please don't take offense. I used to post on The Bump a lot (not this board), but haven't much in the last few months. I am not a SAHM, I work 3 days a week, 11 am to 11pm. I have a 2 1/2 year old son who I am home with 4 days a week. And I am bored to tears. So my question is: what do you ladies do to fill your time? Obviously, you spend a good amount of time feeding, bathing, playing with your kids. But what else do you do? I feel like I live my life in 2 different days: one that consists of only work, since my 12 hour shifts pretty much take up a whole day, and one that consists of me being at home doing laundry, dishes, and occasionally going to the grocery store. I feel like I'm not really exposing my son to all that I can. At least he gets interaction with other children at daycare on the 3 days that I work. The only other kid in our family is 3 weeks old (my niece). I feel like I can't really do anything too involved or far from home because nap time cuts right into the middle of the day. Plus, I could really use some 'me' time. My husband and I used to go bar hopping on the weekends before we had our son and while I still like to go out on occasion, that doesn't interest me anymore. What do you do? With and without your kids? TIA.
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Re: So what do you DO all day?!

  • I think getting out once a day if possible is important so you don't feel stuck at home.  We do library story times, play dates, children's museum, and of course errands.

      I would suggest looking up your local library's children programs and checking out meetup for mom's groups as a way to connect with more parents and kids.  You can also look at your town or county's website, many have a list of family friendly activities or venues.  

    I also think having a mental list of go-to activities is nice for those moments when you're not sure what to do next.  We have reading time, music time (playing their toy instruments, singing songs, etc.), creative time (coloring, play-dough, crafts), game time ( puzzles, kid games, etc.)

    Without our kids DH and I love to take drives, go to the movies, go to the museum or go on small day trips.

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  • In between diapering and feeding I'm just trying to clean the house, do laundry and get dinner ready. My son is just 2 months old so he's nursing all day long. I'm often told to nap when he naps but nothing would get done! This week I hope to get started on Christmas crafts/gifts. It doesn't feel like enough time in the day. I praise all you mothers with multiple children!
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  • I don't know, but my days go really fast! Just playing/helping the kids plus trying to do some laundry, keep the kitchen cleaned up, and make some kind of dinner seems to take all day. Plus we have a lot of errands--Target, grocery store, doctor appts, dentist, library, hair cuts, etc. I like being home, though. In the cold winter weather I don't feel much need to go out and am kind of glad when we can just stay in. And, I have three kids (plus one on the way) so my situation is totally different. We're also wrapping up a house renovation so there are a lot of calls and things for that. Everything changes w/ number of kids/ages of kids. If I were you, I'd try to get out with him since he's an easier age to take out and is just one child. 

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  • DS is in elementary school and DD is in preschool part time, so a large part of our days are structured around getting ready for school, dropping off and picking up from school, and homework. I volunteer at DS's school and run a mommy group for DD. I/We stay pretty busy (on top of keeping up with housework).

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  • I think I recognize you, but I might just recognize your "Ho Made Apple Butter" pic, which I've seen in a few siggies.  (Always a favorite!)  In any case, welcome! I'm assuming you are a nurse because you work similar hours to a nurse friend of mine.  It is fine for you to post here; you aren't the first WM to post here and won't be the last.  We've even had some great regs who were WMs.

    As for your question, domestic duties do take up most of my time.  I spend the bulk of my day on child care and housework, and I agree that nap schedules really throw a wrench into outing plans.  To socialize, we go to story hour at the library where, after several months of going regularly, I made friends with a few moms with whom we hold play dates a few times a month.  We also run errands, even a trip to the bank or post office gets us looking at something different and talking to another adult.  (I usually go in or at least use the drive through at the bank, even though the ATM is available.)  For enrichment, we go to the zoo, a local wildlife sanctuary, a children's museum, parks (we'll be trying a sledding hill this winter), other museums, mall and restaurant play places, art projects, play in different rooms around the house, bake together, read, include the kids in chores, etc. 

    As for time for just me or DH or dates, we make time and get sitters as needed.  I curl in the winters 2 nights a week (one night with DH), and he curls 2 nights (one with me) and coaches one night.  Most other nights are family nights.  DH and I also agree to let the other do some incidental fun stuff when it comes up, like deer hunting last weekend and a sewing class I took at a craft store a few months ago.  Finally, DH and I agreed that he can spend all day Sunday watching football as long as he also takes most of the active parenting duties during that time as well so I can plan some outings during that time.  I shop, see a movie meet a friend, etc. those days.  It was an adjustment for him but ultimately works pretty well for us.

    Also, don't feel bad if SAH lifestyle isn't for you, even if you are a WM already.  Not everyone likes being home.  I couldn't handle being a nurse.  I'm sure your son is really happy and healthy with all you do with him.  Best of luck!  Feel free to post here.
    Yes, I recognize you, too. I didn't know anyone else had the apple butter siggy! I can assure you that I am the original (although I did find it on Pinterest).  ;) And yes, I am a nurse. Thanks for the welcome!
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  • Thanks everyone! I know I will have more on my plate once I add a second child, but we don't plan on trying for another year or so. I'm sure those of you with multiple kids don't have trouble filling your days! I think getting out of the house more will definitely help. I just wish there was more to do around here for kids. We don't have an aquarium and our local zoo leaves a lot to be desired. I'll have to check our local library. And we do have quite a few parks (when the weather allows).
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  • I attribute 90% of my "happiness" as a SAHM to the area where we live (San Francisco): no ice/snow ever, no burning hot summers, it's just a nice, mild 65-77 year-round, which means we can be OUTSIDE all the time... and we are. :)

    I drop E off at school (3rd grade) from 8:20am-3:00pm every day and then, D and I are off every morning: library sing-a-long, scooter ride around the neighborhood, indoor play place (we have 4 within walking distance and about 10 within a short drive), zoo/aquariums/museums within a short drive, 3 parks within walking distance, and tons of friends we meet up at their houses for play dates or host them at our house. Doing something from 9:30am-Noon every day keeps us both engaged and happy and ensures he still takes a 2-3hr nap every afternoon.

    The afternoon nap is when I clean, organize, Bump, blog, FB, watch TV, read, garden, nap myself, etc. I can focus and go 3x as fast than if he was underfoot.

    Once D is awake, we go get E and either stay at the school and play/ride bikes & scooters or we come home and play or go to the park. Just an hour or so is enough for them both! Then, it's snack time, homework time, watch 30min TV time while I prep dinner, dinner, baths, reading books together and then, bedtime for them both. D goes down about 7:30pm and I read with/talk to E until about 8:30pm.

    I know my situation is very unique and many people live far from activities and/or experience harsh winters so, perhaps the most I can offer that's helpful is to maybe try switching the chores/meal prep to during nap time so you can focus on enteracting with him during awake time?!? It's hard to entertain them ALL DAY LONG when you can't get outside or go anywhere, that's for sure! Good luck! :)

    eclaire 9.10.06  diggy 6.2.11

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  • Playgroup twice a week.
    Play dates at the children's museum.
    The park if the weather is nice.
    The nature science center if weather is decent.
    The library twice a week.

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  • Meery82 said:
    Thanks everyone! I know I will have more on my plate once I add a second child, but we don't plan on trying for another year or so. I'm sure those of you with multiple kids don't have trouble filling your days! I think getting out of the house more will definitely help. I just wish there was more to do around here for kids. We don't have an aquarium and our local zoo leaves a lot to be desired. I'll have to check our local library. And we do have quite a few parks (when the weather allows).
    Is your 2 year old bored at the zoo or you?  Believe me, most of the stuff my kids find exciting is boring for me, but I like seeing them enjoy themselves.
    Probably me. Good point.
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  • Preschool 3 mornings a week and playing every day after takes up until lunch time.  The gym childcare the other 1 or 2 mornings a week.  MOPs group mtgs 2x a month and various playdates/outings sometimes.  At least a couple of times a month I'll do an all day thing - either go into the city or to a big museum or zoo.  Or see one of my sisters here or at their houses (more than an hour away).  Afternoons we usually stay home and do something either together (cooking, baking) or he plays by himself while I do other things.  Or we'll go to the library in the afternoon when they are open late - we're usually at the library at least once a week.  On the weekends we all go to the gym on Sat morning.  We also go hiking or biking when the weather permits.  Aside from nice restaurants and bar hopping we do pretty much the same things we did before he was born. 

    I've never really been one to be bored on a regular basis though. I don't need a lot of outside stimulation - maybe because I'm an introvert.  And as long as my son is regularly out and playing with other kids he also loves to have a whole day at home so we both look forward to those once in a while.
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  • Playdates, errands, Bible study. During the summer, we go outside and play. But I'm in ND, so that only works for a few months of the year. Now that I have two kids, my days fly by especially since DD is 4 months. I try to get some housework in some days.
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  • abookwormabookworm member
    edited December 2014
    I joined 3 mothers' groups, and that was a lot of fun. I went to group play dates at parks and other venues, and home play dates with them. When my son (my oldest) was 2 1/2, I took him out to the park 5-6 days a week. Also check out for some mothers' or toddler groups.
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  • There was a period of time when I just had DS1 and before I got pregnant again when I was basically in SAHM heaven. We got out of the house every morning, came home for lunch, then he took a 2-3 hour nap while I made the house perfect, prepped dinner, blogged, worked on creative projects, talked to friends, etc. H came home, we all ate, and then he put DS to bed while I vegged.

    Then I got pregnant again and endured 9 months of nausea and debilitating fatigue. I slept during DS's naps and went to bed early.

    Once DS2 was born, life just completely changed. I still love staying home but it is a ton more work. We have to navigate the baby's naps, my three year old no longer naps, we are trying to potty train, and my back periodically kills me.

    We do several classes a week, generally sports and music. Library story time. 1-2 play dates. Errands, walks, picnics in nice weather, lots of time at the park. I do go to the museum and zoo but it's a little tough with the baby right now.

    As for me time, I don't get enough. As the boys get older I think it will get easier. We do lots as a family on weekends and I get out with friends 1-2 evenings a month. This is a season in my life and in five years I'm sure it will be different again.

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  • Honestly our days are packed. But I have a 6 year old lol!
    At 2-3 our days looked like this typically:
    9 am to 11 am play school, this was a parented play school to ore pare for preschool 3 days a week. The days we didn't have play school we did pay for the class but also get unlimited access to the play area. So every day mon to fri we were out from 9 to 11
    11:30 lunch at home, followed by quiet time or nap. This was when I did all my housework
    2:00 we would leave again for either errands, visit to Nana's, library, or grocery store.
    Home by 4:00, I would set up a craft for us to do usually, then read a few books.
    Dinner prep by 5, eat by 6, my DH is home about 7 so he would take over bath and bedtime.
    My nights out are usually dinner and a movie with DH. My girlfriends and I do weekly get togethers, usually at a restaurant or someone's house.
  • a few playdates here and there, tot  music class, childrens museum (we have memberships), indoor mall playspaces, carpooling to preschool, park district classes, tonight we took a drive around our neighborhood to check out our neighbors' Christmas lights, park (even in coats and mittens), regular errands like-- groceries, car wash, bank, etc, we go to the gym 2+ times a week and kids like to play in childcare there.  Honestly I am much much busier now with two kids than I was with one and being a WM.  During times when were just home we get creative, relay races in the basement, turn out lights and play with flashlights, invite over a neighbor, baking, playdoh, etc.  When DS is napping I like to work on my hobbies or decorating projects, surf the interwebz, read a magazine or listen to podcasts while I do chores. I also volunteer as treasurer for my HOA.  I find that making time for the things I like to do for myself is crucial to my happiness as a SAHM.  Having some time to do hobbies or my interests is a huge perk of staying at home with the kiddos for me.  Honestly, there have been times where I've been really self-reflective about making the day work as far as balancing parenting duties with finding time to energize myself.  Have some fun with the time you are home with your LO.  It took me some time, perseverance, and creativity to find my niche as a SAHM.  GL!

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  • I am at home full time with my 2 kids.  DD is 3.5 and DS is 16 months.  We try to get out of the house 4 days of the week.  We go to story time, different play area's, the gym, to the store, to the mall to the play area.  DS still naps so we do things in the morning.  We are home by nap time and DD takes a rest too.  Usually watches a show, has some milk and just takes a break from playing.  That is when I run around the house trying to get lots of stuff done.  Dishes, laundry, dinner prep ect.  
    In the afternoon we play, organize the house like put away laundry.  Do a craft or project, read books have snacks and sometimes we just hang out and watch a movie or something.  It is getting cold here so we don't get outside as much.  
    I would try to find a moms group, church group of play group or something to get involved in.  We have made a lot of friends so we always have lots of options for things to do.  

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  • I have a 2 year old and 8 month old.

    We do ECFE (similar to preschool/mommy&me classes) two times a week. Library storytime or just going to the library once a week. Grocery store. Hiking on trails when it's nice. But we live in MN so no more hikes but we do play outside every day as long as it's not too windy, even when it's 0. Most days it takes longer to get dressed than we are outside, but it's worth it.

    Inside, we read, paint, color, independent play, sing, dance, watch cartoons, play in the kitchen cabinets and house work.

    I go out with friends a couple of times a month and catch online/text with friends throughout the day most days. I also read about an hour every night.
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  • Thanks for all the great answers!

     We tried to go to an introductory class at The Little Gym Wednesday morning, but had to cancel because Jack was up most of the night before dealing with constipation. We will try that again next week. I took him to the mall play area yesterday and he had a blast. Then we went to the grocery store, home, then over to Grandma's to have dinner with her and my brother, who brought his new daughter. 

    I worked today. Tomorrow, I'm going to dinner and a movie with a friend I haven't seen in a while and he is going to stay at Grandma's house. (Probably his favorite thing to do ever.) I searched for local kid activities online and found Kidzeum, which looked awesome, but isn't built yet, so we will be looking forward to that. We will also try to do story time at our Barnes and Noble. I would've loved to have taken him tonight for the Polar Express story, but I work too late. 

    I'm hoping the weather is nicer next week (cold and rainy now) because we have lots of parks nearby.
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  • I follow the Motivated Mom's (MM) program.  So my day revolves around that program. 

    When we first get up, I pretty much only focus on getting DD ready for school, from breakfast to making her lunch.  Once DH walks out of the door with her (I love that he takes her to school), I start my day.  First thing I have to do is feed the dogs and clean the cat litter.  

    From there, I knock out whatever is on my MM list first.  That entails the daily, weekly, monthly cleaning/household stuff and DH's work clothes etc.  Then I shower and work on my personal extras that I do for the family or myself.  

    I pick up DD at 3.  Then we do whatever is on her schedule (sports or music lessons, or GS).  Then I make dinner.  DH comes home, we eat.  DD does her nighttime routine, we read a book and then she goes to bed.  

    I straighten up the kitchen, feed the cat and finally hit the bed to read before I go to sleep. 
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