I CAN do it myself

credcat7

I manage quite well getting stuff done and keeping Sammie happy. Did tons of chores this morning and let SO sleep in.
As soon as he is up its like my brain decides I can no longer fly solo and i NEED him to participate ( so I don't feel like a maid??)
I think I need to try to flip a switch and just get the shit done rather than nag at him and I would be happier, but then when do I get a break?
Any advice? Thoughts.
He's watcHing football and I am straightening up the room and sorting laundry

PrimRoseMama

Um what? Just ask him to help? It's only nagging if you do it in a whiny way. I divide up the chores list with H on weekends. He does his half & I do mine.

angelashly

I know the feeling in a way. My so works longer hours so a lot of the housework child care falls on me. When the weekend comes we try to do things together, but he will look over a lot that I think needs done. He does his own laundry during the week since he wears uniforms so that helps a little. A lot of time he does child care while I cook, clean, etc. it works for me because I can watch tv while I fold clothes or drink wine while I cook.

Not sure on the asking because I don't really ask I just put her in with him or he plays/watches tv with her on his own. If I truly need a break I just say I'm leaving and go.

credcat7

PrimRoseMama said:

Um what? Just ask him to help? It's only nagging if you do it in a whiny way. I divide up the chores list with H on weekends. He does his half & I do mine.

I agree but I think its more apparent when I am on a "cleaning mode". I don't whine, but I refuse to ask my 2 year old to do something 3 times, so why would I ask my SO. I really don't expect a solution I guess I was Just posting for others to tell me I am not the only one

angelashly

I agree with @SunnySideUp26‌ on weekends where I want to be lazy or I do need to ask he will do it. Since I do it a lot he sometimes will think I handle it or don't need his help. I just tell him uhh this is your house/kid and yes I can do it, but I don't want to.

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credcat7

Ok I guess I need to vent to people who know me and not here because I really was just venting. And yes, I do vent here about this every once in a while but I thought that was what people did here.
Geeze

RondackHiker

credcat7 said:

Ok I guess I need to vent to people who know me and not here because I really was just venting. And yes, I do vent here about this every once in a while but I thought that was what people did here.
Geeze

You asked for advice and thoughts. That isn't venting.

PrimRoseMama

You've gotten folks to say they understand how you feel & offered solutions. The solution is being vocal & creating a plan.

Think about it: he's got it good. Free childcare & maid service. All he has to do is call you a nag, then he's scott free.

Meanwhile, you are cleaning & complaining to strangers. If you want things to change then speak up.