Want to TTC but... Frustrated.. Help!

lolohops

So newbie mistake, I accidentally posted this on TTGP board. Now I'm posting it here.

I am so ready to start TTC. unfortunately, hubby just isn't. He doesn't even want to think about it until next year. It just feels like a long ways a way. In the meantime, I've been trying everything to keep my mind off of it. Picking up new projects, starting new hobbies, working on our home and our relationship. For some reason, the thought of having my own baby will pop into my mind unexpectedly - during any activity! It's frustrating because I know my husband isn't ready yet. It didn't help that at the thanksgiving table (with his brother's wife's family) he told everyone I was baby hungry. That only makes it more real to me when he is sharing it with others! I don't want to feel like I'm obsessing over it, but it's only a thought away. I was never like this, until the past few months. (I got my IUD in May -- could that play a role at all???).
Anyway, any suggestions (besides being around other people's kids--doesn't help!) on how to keep the baby hunger away until hubby is ready?

ashiscute

I can see why his comment was hurtful. That was kind of an asshole thing to say.

Have you sat down and asked him what things he would like to accomplish (financial goals, travel, etc) before TTC? I know when I brought up TTC #3 to DH and he said he wasn't ready he also gave me ideas of why. We were able to work on those goals together. I would try to talk to him a bit and I would tell him what he said at thanksgiving was childish and cruel.

lifeonthehill

I haven't found anything to keep the baby fever away. I am working part time, taking care of our house on my own, in school full time, having weekly date nights, weekly girls nights, and picking up extra work every chance I get. I still have baby fever.

As for H. I was barely 22 when I first mentioned it. He shot me down and refused to talk about a timeline and I was crushed. I took the next few months to build my own baby bucket list. It had things like pay off all debt, save a 6 month emergency fund, 5k in baby start up money, get on our own health insurance, and contribute to retirement.. I brought this list to H and said I know you aren't ready but I want you to add things to this list. He added tropical vacation, a new mattress set, and new hockey gear. Once we started crossing things off I could tell he was getting more excited. Now we will be done in September and he talks names every day. We are both ready but want to get our list we worked so hard on finished first. Maybe this would be a good step to take with your H. It helps you work towards TTC while working on goals together. 

His comment was really mean and I would speak to him about it. It isn't fair to tease you over this. 

seamonkey0814

I agree with PP about discussing goals etc. DH had just gone back to school when we got married so we had to wait three long years before ttc. The only thing that made it better was that we knew what we were waiting for and we felt very strongly that we would be in a better position to bring a baby into the world after school was finished and we were settled into jobs. Not saying it was easy, but we were in agreement about why we were waiting and when we would both feel ready to get down to business. I wouldn't necessarily recommend having a "bucket list" but if there is a major goal that you agree needs to be met before it's time for a baby, you can put your energy into working towards that instead of pining

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.