When Will You Start a Schedule?

JamieK1882

LO is only 2 weeks old today, so I know it's early to try and start a scheduled routine, but just wondering at what age you would try to start one?

I get sooo stressed out about nighttimes. She sleeps most of the day and has been a horrible sleeper at night. I seriously dread bedtime each day. I keep hearing from other people how I need to keep her up during the day so she'll sleep at night but that's a lot easier said than done. When she wants to sleep you can NOT wake this child!

I also blame a lot of it on the absolutely NON STOP visitors we've had since say 1. People hold her all day, and she loves sleeping when held. At night then she spazzes out. I'm just super stressed over it all and the sleep deprivation and hormones aren't helping. Please tell me we're not alone and that it gets better?! Or at what age should I seeiousky start to try and implement some kind of routine?

rox825

No advice but you're definitely not alone, our LO has days and nights backwards too. He sleeps great during the day and won't stay awake no matter what we do, fusses through the evening, and will not settle down for sleep until 2am some nights. It's frustrating and I'm exhausted too so will be watching this thread!

jac409

STM here. I would stress that schedule and routine are two totally different things. It is way too early for a schedule, but I don't think it is ever too early to start routines. By that I mean a bedtime routine, for example, where you do the same things (bath, pajamas, story, bottle/nurse, bed) in the same order every night before bed. That way, the routine signals to them that it is time for bed so they can start winding down. Also, all of what you describe is totally normal. My LO is three and a half weeks and we are going through the same thing. It does get better. Remember that this, along with every other phase they go through, will pass.

scarlet3egonias

No advice but I wanted to say you aren't alone. I dread bedtime too. I seriously get super anxious as night falls. As a matter of fact I just broke down in tears because for the hundredth time she wanted to eat just as my dinner was ready, which seems to happen no matter what I plan. That and the thought of being up all night again just makes me want to burst into tears. This exhaustion is no joke. I will say that the days I manage to squeeze a nap in I do a lot better - even if it's only 20 minutes of sleep. Another thing that helps is remembering that she will only be this little for a short time and one day I know I will miss it!

sweetbabyrahe

I try to have a routine during the day of eat, activity alert time for 30-45 minutes then sleep until next feed. I second pp on a bedtime routine. I probably won't put that into a time schedule until about 2 months. I am currently bf on demand

Maelara

jac409 said:

STM here. I would stress that schedule and routine are two totally different things. It is way too early for a schedule, but I don't think it is ever too early to start routines. By that I mean a bedtime routine, for example, where you do the same things (bath, pajamas, story, bottle/nurse, bed) in the same order every night before bed. That way, the routine signals to them that it is time for bed so they can start winding down. Also, all of what you describe is totally normal. My LO is three and a half weeks and we are going through the same thing. It does get better. Remember that this, along with every other phase they go through, will pass.

This. Our babies are much to young for a schedule but not a routine. Routines are fantastic to start now and will help you greatly when your baby gets older.

AnnieRoo13

We have definite routines in our day- at this point they're mainly for my benefit. I am a huge routine person, so I can't help but do the same things at the same time- I thrive on it.

In the morning Will wakes up between 6-7:30 depending on the last time he fed. Like a PP said, I open the blinds in his room and try to establish that it's now daytime. I feed him and do our skin to skin time. Then I get him ready for the day- wash his face and put him in whatever clothes he's wearing. He usually falls asleep or is happy to be awake and looking around. I put him in his chair or crib and tidy his room and get myself ready for the day- shower etc. He either has a good nap now or we go downstairs and I tidy up down there, possibly feed again. The rest of the day is loose, but evening is a routine again. He eats a lot between 5-10 so I usually hang out downstairs with DH or whoever comes by. By about 9 we make our way upstairs and start to get ready for bed. I dim the lights and put pjs on him. I usually do the last feed in our bed and then swaddle him, put the sleep sheep on in his room and put him to sleep. Sometimes he needs to be rocked, other times he's totally fine going down without it. I definitely try to differentiate between night and day- no swaddling in the day, lights on, I'm not quiet. Not sure if he knows the difference, but he usually sleeps from when I put him down between 10-11 until 2-3 vs. in the day when he usually eats every 2-3 hours.

missnacholover

I was dealing with sleeping during the day and then wanting to play, hang out, explore the world at night.  One thing that helped a lot was that Claire started cluster feeding in the evenings and now she has gone on 3.5-4 hour clips at night, which have been great.  We've been doing this for about 10 days now.  

Of course if she doesn't want to eat we don't force her, but smaller, more frequent feedings in the evenings have been successful.  

Also, I'm pumping and doing formula, FYI.

JFH2010

That's so tough. Cluster feeding in the evening definitely helps - just keep offering. Make sure that her environment is stimulating during the day, meaning normal levels of noise and light. Wake her to feed every 3 hours during the day if you can. Are you using white noise at night? That can be one way to signal that it's nighttime. Don't change her diaper at night (I know some people are horrified by this, but to me it just adds too much stimulation. Slather on desitin before bedtime, put her in a disposable, and let her be). Don't turn on lights at night. If you need light for feedings, use a nightlight. I use the oxo tooli and really like it. Share nighttime duties if you can. Definitely take naps during the day! Is your stream of visitors slowing down? You need to be able to rest during the day. My baby doesn't have this issue, but my first did, and I remember how utterly devastating the nights felt (he also often screamed all night, which was awful). I hope things ease up for you soon, and in the meantime, make sure you're taking care of yourself, too!

MmmPopcorn

scarlet3egonias said:

No advice but I wanted to say you aren't alone. I dread bedtime too. I seriously get super anxious as night falls. As a matter of fact I just broke down in tears because for the hundredth time she wanted to eat just as my dinner was ready, which seems to happen no matter what I plan. That and the thought of being up all night again just makes me want to burst into tears. This exhaustion is no joke. I will say that the days I manage to squeeze a nap in I do a lot better - even if it's only 20 minutes of sleep. Another thing that helps is remembering that she will only be this little for a short time and one day I know I will miss it!

I could have written this word-for-word.

Caraluvs

My baby just turned 3 weeks. I'm noticing she is having longer alert periods, so I've started already to get her primed for a schedule. Basically, you want a sleep, feed, awake time, sleep again pattern to develop. Then at night after around 9pm, you shoot for sleep, feed, sleep until morning. Two habits to get into that make happy babies is to try not to feed them to sleep during the day and to be the one who wakes them up from naps. I'm not a nazi about it or anything, but that's how I did it the last two times around and I've had cheery easy babies so far with that approach. Every baby takes to schedules differently. My first was a breeze. He would sleep from 8pm to 8 am (other than feedings) with two daily naps as well starting at 3 months. The second child gave me a lot more trouble though as far as nights go. For me, the main thing I'm concerned with right now is the pattern thing.

thedjinn88

My son is 6 weeks old today, we are pretty much on nap and bedtime routines give or take an hour. We started from the momment we got home, as long as I could keep him up and happy I would before it was too late. He does great now, he is usually in bed by 11 pm, wakes up around 2am is back to sleep after a feeding and is up around 5am.